Guess who got to visit Gramma and Gramps and got to spend the night!

Lilly did!
She is now 11lb., 6oz., still has beautiful blue eyes, still loves to talk, and is really getting strong!

Rob did not want this picture posted

Rob and his grandparents in Texas

In fact I don't even think he knows I swiped it from Grandma's house after the Easter dinner - Grandma does!
Rob has already explained in his postings of Texas that he is "tactile" person. He did consider the crowning glory of his trip to be feeling the brush strokes of Picasso. Rob posted a picture of the horses - he was obviously taken with them as well. This picture just extends that depth of his fondness.
Easter Dinner was a very enjoyable day at the folks. None of my brothers and families were able to be present, so they invited over our newest family members - our KOA gang. Dinner was superb - as always - and a ton of side-splitting laughs - as always.
Willie was much quieter than usual. And no sense of humor lately.

oh Willie
Willie and I did talk (good talk) very late last night. We discussed choices and consequences. I made him rewrite the list of who was in our house - without being able to see the first list. This time I suggested he quit protecting people. The first list contained almost 2 dozen names. We can safely more than double that number now. And it still reads like a honors who's who list - but we can include more than Hoover High School now.
Add to the missing in action list: more old and collectible coins than first thought, my meditation stones from when I had my bone tumor, (tools I used to re-focus pain), a very rare, museum quality, arrowhead, and a tennis bracelet.
I found a condom wrapper in a sofa - so indescribably gross. Still finding BBs everywhere I go. I mopped the kitchen floor twice. One more time should do it. Then I'm heading downstairs to clean.

my car
I called Sears, where Will had left my car, and inquired about it. (It would be "awhile" yet) I then let them know they did not have the owners consent to work on it. And with it being a newer Toyota Prius Hybrid (more computer than standard car) still under warranty - they wouldn't be working on it. I then called Ian - my service guy - the only guy in this state certified and qualified on the Prius who sent a tow truck to take my car to my shop.

the verb
I weighed my options and made my choice.
I called Hoover's principle, Connie Cook.
These are supposedly the cream of the crop of kids. Many of them have very bright futures and athletic scholarships waiting. But they also have the opportunity to blow it forever with behavior like we have suffered through.
Mrs. Cook, who was very glad I called, in turn had the school's liaison police officer call me. Officer Carrington was quite surprised to hear the investigating police officer had so quickly dismissed us saying nothing could be done. He is going to file a report questioning that with his higher ups in the city police. We did suffer theft and damages. He said we have the right to file charges against the kids and asked what I would like to see be done.
We are not out to destroy bright futures. I want them to understand they are responsible for their actions and bad choices in life can have serious consequences. I told him the return of any stuff taken would be greatly appreciated. We would appreciate face to face apologies. I'd even be willing to accept "sweat equity". They could trade a day of labor around here for losses suffered. He said to think about it for 24 hours and let him know. He was quite amazed we didn't want to ruin lives for payback. So far - we don't.
Mrs. Cook also had the boys basketball coach call me. He took names and said he would be calling the boys out of classes for "talks". Coach was very shocked and seemed very sympathetic. He sounded a lot like an angry parent would. He also agreed this was bad enough to ruin futures. And he would be talking to the girls basketball coach. And North High's basketball coach. And maybe the teacher who's son was here.
The kids that trashed our house during a very wild party and stole from me are such big names - if I don't get some apologies and satisfaction - I'm sure the local news would love to get the story. Bright and talented young people already acting like their spoiled college and pro peers have taught them.

pay attention
One of Willie's many losses has been the disconnection of our land-line phone. Randy and I are only available by cell phone now. If you need our numbers email me and I will send them to you. If he wants to maintain his current level of popularity it will happen on his dime now. We do have his new number. Let me know if you need it. :)
Willie also no longer has any form of electronic besides his clock radio or a house key, his best label in clothing is Old Navy, his car keys remain with us until the clock says he must leave for work or school and he had better hope traffic never makes him get home late. Late by 1 minute lose your car for one day, 2 minutes = 2 days, etc.
Let me know if you have any more ideas!

Happy Easter and on this day Happy Birthday to me
My hair should turn all white this week just from the stress. My little brothers are now cheering. Sorry guys, even if I ever get as gray as you - I'll never wrinkle like you have! ;)
If you all must know I'm admitting to 22 this year. I said I turned 21 last year, but everyone also had to buy me a double.

This vacation was a downer
We were missing Lilly. It rained. It snowed. We didn't do any activities we had planned to do. Didn't have any heart or spirit to do so. Mostly, just we just missed Lilly. Did have nice visits, a poker game, and wine tastings with dear friends. Nice to be back "home" at our KOA with our gang. We had hoped to use our new telescope, but never saw a cloudless night.

Yeah - it's a Willie thing
Then Willie called with the news he had another accident. This time with my car. Which he took without permission. Mind you, I had both our sets of keys with us. I had a valet key HID at home in case of emergency and the Prius had to be moved. Willie had to look pretty hard (possibly for days) to find the valet key, and then still chose to drive it and had an accident. It is supposedly being fixed, but I have no proof yet. And Willie, who was told we would be here to greet him when he got home from work today, has chosen not to come home. And has changed his cell phone number. Sort of looking like he ran away from home too.
If you see Willie, tell him "grounded" means he stays at our house
Yeah, he's grounded. More grounded then dirt. "There isn't a tunnel deep enough to get sunshine to him." (Rand quote) He has never ever been in this much trouble. And Willie never learns the lesson -
"When you're in a hole - stop digging."
And to add insult to injury - Willie was in trouble before we left on vacation. He had been spotted letting someone else drive his car. (Even turned out to be an unlicensed driver) Very much against our family rules on more than one count.
I left a detailed "here are your rules"" including no driving the Prius , almost lost use of his car for the week, promised an exchange of spring yardwork and housework in exchange for keeping his car. Not only were there to be no friends in the house. I didn't even want them on the sidewalk in front of the house.
Yeah, he had a party.
Things were broke, like a door, our rock'em sock'em robots, a crossbow.
They beat the crap out of our rare "Pepsi" fridge downstairs.
Plastic BB's were everywhere in every room. It was war. Someone has been sleeping in my bed (I don't think they were playing war) I'm OCD and they made it wrong - the bears were upside down I would never have the bears upside down! And people were going through all my personal things. I found things in other rooms that I know were in drawers in my room. Things like the funeral banner off of my grandfather's casket. They went through my file cabinets. My underwear.
It's after midnight and we are not going to bed until everything that has ever touched our bed is washed. I found gum in a dog bed.
We are missing quite a bit of cash, including a lot old coins, and a few small things like my label maker and a very nice printing calculater.
Kids have come over missing things like purses, keys, and cell phones. We didn't find anythingthat wasn't ours. Thieves among friends.
They played with Rand's guns. And they were drinking. Quite scary isn't it.
We couldn't find the cat for a long time and we were getting quite scared. Starting to look in places like the freezer and woodstove. Rand even went in the yard to look to see if anything was buried recently. We finally found her cowaring under our bed. She doesn't ever go in our room - let alone hide there or come to us for comfort.
UPDATE:
Willie arrived home, finally. We did talk to the police, but because Willie didn't see any take anything specifically, nothing had identifying marks and damage doesn't really count because they were invited in. It's like a real life version of Risky Business... but this isn't a comedy.
We did make Willie write down the names of everyone he could remember for party goers. It reads like a Des Moines Register sports headline - Let's hear it for the very well known basketball boys and girls teams of the Hoover Huskies. They made be good at their games, but they have no manners and they are not housebroke. Don't know what I will do with these names yet. But I will accomplish one or more verbs with them.

Prayers and sympathies to our extended family
The Amber Alert that went up for the 10 year old Jetseta last week. Taken by a known child molester - and the next day she was found murdered - was family. We saw them last at Uncle Jim's funeral. For those close enough in the know - she's Uncle Earl's grandaughter. I refuse to give out last names for the media to seek and find. The media circus was a big problem when the "Mormons killed Grandpa". That ought to make for an interesting search engine.

Sandra and Ryan.....
....stopped in for a visit, to smooth things a bit, and see how big of truck they are going to need. They didn't bring Lilly this time but promised we'd see her soon. They are seeing a pastor for counseling and Lilly is doing well.

And to commenter #4 of the last post
(and anyone else who dosn't "get it")
- for the last time we didn't call DHS or report anybody!!!! A doctor did! Everybody could see what was going on here. It wasn't a big cover up. My only goal was to keep Lilly - out of foster care - which was threatened if I didn't comply. (That was the "Lilly could be removed" part - in case English or literacy are not your strong points) I didn't start it. I didn't finish it. All I did was give Lilly all the love and care a baby could ever need and got punished for it. It has been 3 weeks since I have got to hear her coo, smell her sweetness, see her smile. I have nothing but empty arms and a broken heart and I did nothing wrong. I lost the right to be the grandma that could be there everyday - Because I loved her.
I don't "protect" because of "flesh and blood" - and I won't deny protection if you're not of my flesh. Ask all my kids who call me Mom2. I'm a good mom and an even better gramma. I've had a lot of practice.

And I want to send love and thanks to all our "kids", friends, blog readers, perfect strangers, and family who have been so supportive the last few weeks.
In the well known Footprints story, there is one set of prints during the "bad times" because that is when He carries us. Our beach is littered with footprints and we love you all.

Why My Name is "This Bear Bites"
It is my attitude in life.
Short Update
I didn't feel like taking this post down to spot #2 yet, but, needed to do some fine tuning and slight updating. Look for the green changes - it is worth a re-read.
We will be on vacation - no updates for awhile.

Bears don't have a lot of friends in the forest. They don't need them. They are quite self-sufficient and self-reliant. There are a trusted very few allowed in their inner circle. It is always a relationship of honesty and trust. It is the only way it can be. Otherwise, the bear would eat them.

When a bear is sick, injured, or threatened in anyway - they will attack. It is a guarantee. I have always pointed out to those around me - you wouldn't poke a injured real bear with a stick - same goes with me. When I'm hurting - back off. I've had a lifetime of serious health problems and will live with serious pain the rest of my life. When it is really bad - back off. Same goes with an emotional pain. Don't poke the hurt bear. If you're real nice to the bear, gain it's confidence, maybe you can pull the thorn out of it's paw - but I wouldn't poke it with a stick. Ever.

Don't ever mess with a bear's cubs. You won't win.

My grandcub Lilly
A secret Lilly and I shared.
I called her "Little Bear" and I was teaching her to growl and snuggle when cuddled and hugged.

It doesn't matter that I have "told" the secret now. By the time I am allowed to ever see her again she won't even remember me and certainly not the fun we had.

Ryan and Sandra have even hired an attorney - it's that bad. An attorney is a real waste of money - it is really only that bad in their minds. Rand and I were quite clueless that it was that bad. And we have no attention of making it that bad. Save your money kids.

And now for the rest of the story.....
Many people have already caught on - long before it got bad. It's been said in emails to me, whispers, visits, and calls of support. All you need to do is go back to January 14th of my blogs and start reading to present day. You'll see it.
I was Lilly's caregiver. Ryan and Sandra didn't plan to be parents and weren't really ready to be. They "broke up" months ago, but continued to stay together for the baby.
Everyone knows how healthy "staying together for the sake of the children" is. Studies have shown that the number one cause of happy children is happy parents.
I know they love Lilly and they really did try - for the first couple of weeks after she was born. I was given Lilly more and more every day and night - so they could rest, eat, or finish watching 'the movie'. I didn't rest (unless I napped with Lilly), and ate a lot of meals while I was wearing her in a sling. If she was really fussy I ate a cold meal later or Rand and I would "tag team" it. I was missing work and getting in trouble for it.
I got real worried about Sandra when she started pumping. Even after "her sore bits" healed - she didn't want to breastfeed Lilly. Or give her milk with the bottle. She would pump - and give her milk to someone else to feed Lilly or store it. She acted like she was "sharing" but it didn't feel okay. My mommy instincts were sending up warning signals.
Before you knew it I was doing all nights, all days, fixing and washing all bottles, changing all diapers, giving all baths - doing all the loving and nurturing and caring. I was exhausted, my arthritis and RSD was flaring (And that's why I made so many baby slings!) and Lilly was so worth every minute of it.
Rand and Will would spend time with Lilly every day. Lilly always had a smile for her Gramps when he got home from work. He fed her lots of supper bottles. Rand did dishes - fixed meals. Will helped with Lilly's laundry and dishes (laundry's downstairs and stairs are very difficult for me) and diaper genie duty. After school all day and then going to work, Willie would watch Lilly late at night after work so I could finally shower. It got to be their special time.
Ryan and Sandra were usually in bed at a decent time.
It got to be where Sandra and Ryan would just pat Lilly on the head on their way by and go days without holding her. They would leave the house without informing anyone they were going, let alone where. Rand would look at me every time and remark, "I guess we're babysitting", which was an inside joke. We were the only ones doing baby duty at most given times.
We decided awhile back they needed to be held more responsible. They have both lived with us over a year. We finally decided they could finally start paying rent and helping with utilities and other grown-up responsible stuff. Act like grown-ups and roommates instead of children living with parents. We hoped it would boost their egos and slow down their running around.
That was probably the beginning of the end.
They started bitching about how much "stuff" I was buying for the baby. Maybe if I wasn't wasting my money on "baby stuff", (mostly used stuff off of eBay) we wouldn't have to "ask them for money". It was finally explained that they just couldn't pay us rent - because we would just waste the money on the baby. They were protecting us from ourselves and our wasteful way of living. We never saw any money.
They also didn't help with housework, yardwork, garbage day, groceries, or even clean up after themselves. A long time ago we decided everyone to at least make everyone responsible for their own laundry. I even moved hampers and assigned baskets to help with that. Poor Willie was doing most of theirs before that.
All the pictures of Sandra posed with the baby after week 2 were just that - Sandra posing. Ryan wasn't even trying to pretend. The day of the baby shower here - that picture was really the only time she held Lilly that day. After the shower she went partying with friends. After that I quit posting pictures of "poses". I don't like fiction.
Many people commented the day of our baby shower how on Lilly was looking for me when she heard my voice. Lilly never 'looked' for her mother that day did she?
Their "family" picture was a good day. Just about the last good day they had as a family.
Ryan and Sandra were fighting continuously. Usually screaming at each other because the other one wasn't being "the good parent". Sandra was leaving a lot of nights in the middle of the night (to talk with Vicky) and coming home in the wee hours. She started smoking again.
By our baby shower, we were pretty well being held hostage in our own home - we were told everything in life would pretty much go their way or they would leave, take Lilly from us, and we would never see her again. Rand wanted to kick them out weeks ago. I begged for mercy and more time for them to bond with her and grow up themselves. And I didn't want to lose Lilly. We were pretty attached to each other by then. We had a great daily routine going. I was just starting to feel better.
FACT - Lilly was more bonded with Willie than her parents.
We tried to get them to bond with her. More than once, I handed Lilly off claiming a "bathroom break", but would head a different direction when I left the bathroom. They found me and handed her back rather quickly.
We would make them take her downstairs to the family room in the evenings. They always brought her back up a couple of hours later when they were ready to go to bed or if she was getting fussy.
If they were upstairs late, I would get Lilly laid down and quickly jump in the shower knowing she would wake up (she wasn't soundly asleep) before I was done and they would have to respond.
I finally started taking Lilly out with me (claiming Gramma time) to the store, neighbors, and doctors when it was apparent they couldn't tell if it was her "I'm soiled, I'm hungry, I need to burp, or I'm just too tired" cry and weren't even doing diaper "checks". Lilly really hates soiled pants. Even if they are just a bit damp she will get fussy. I wasn't going to let her suffer needlessly - even for an hour or two. Maybe they would have cared for her - but I hadn't seen evidence of that for awhile.
At Sandra's four week check-up, I finally broke my silence and told the doctor how things were going. (Of course I was there. Who do you think drove her there?) By this time I was very concerned that Sandra was in a bad post partum depression and possibly headed toward anorexia again. I told him I was doing all the baby care, Sandra was sleeping way too much and emotionally unattached to the baby. He suggested she might need to see a psychiatrist and take meds. (Normal advice for PPD) She didn't take that well and refused. I had to apply for family medical leave to try and save my job and continue to take care of Lilly. I was all Lilly had in a world of chaos. I had suggested counseling to Sandra and Ryan (several times), but that (and me) were cut down.
That's where the end of the story started. The doctor I saw to get family leave and explained everything to, decided it was a child neglect - mandatory they must report. I begged her not to. I explained that they just weren't ready to be parents, but they did love her, I knew it would just take more time. Lilly was with me and it was agreed she was very well cared for and bonded with me. But the fact was Lilly was her parents responsibility and they weren't doing it. They had to report. It was the law. The doctor did write my family leave (Target denied it. I could have the family leave if Sandra was receiving medical help for PPD or even just plain old depression, but not if she was refusing medical help. I took a 30 day emergency leave of absence instead. If I didn't return by then, I would be terminated.)
Things worked very fast. Shortly after I arrived home - so did the DHS worker. Kim Barnett explained to me that for starters every adult in the house would have to drop urine within 24 hours for a drug test. I was informed if anyone refused - Lilly could be removed from the house until we were "proven" safe. I was told this was standard procedure every time a DHS worker did a first visit.
She asked what I wanted to happen here - what I wanted to change. I wanted Sandra and Ryan to receive counseling. I told her they had the capacity to be good parents, but they didn't have a clue where they were in life individually - let alone with each other and a baby.
I was extremely worried about Sandra and depression. We wanted them to step up and pay their way - be responsible. We didn't want them to move out. We love Lilly dearly, did want to help with her, and it even benefited us to have them living here when camping season hit.
I didn't want all this to happen just two days before the baptism and baby shower in Fort Dodge weekend and told Kim so. That would not be a memory to keep of the baptism. I didn't want them embarrassed or have to explain anything at the shower to family and friends.
BTW - Sandra and Ryan arrived home toward the end of our visit. They came in the kitchen door and went straight downstairs. Kim's jaw actually dropped and she commented on the fact that most new parents would have at least checked on the baby - let alone, want to show her off in front of a stranger. Lilly was in my arms and Sandra and Ryan could not have seen their daughter from the door - I was in the computer chair. They did see a stranger sitting in the house and didn't even check on that.
Kim said since they didn't know who she was or why she was there (and didn't seem to care) and the fact that Lilly was well cared for - I was to say nothing and she would re-visit on Monday. They could have their weekend. And if for any reason Sandra and Ryan refused to do a drug test on Monday, Rand and I would be given temporary guardianship of Lilly until they complied and tested clean. (This was dependent on our UAs testing clean, of course) And no one else could be told a drug test was coming. I didn't even tell Rand. If they suspected the house was "tipped off" Lilly could be removed. I was told the kids would be required to get the needed counseling. We could make this whole thing work again. I was really hopeful. And the weekend wasn't ruined. So far.

The Baptism
I waited them out and they were talking, but it was apparent they weren't going to get Lilly a baptism dress, and in the meantime, I had found the one she did wear, at a specialty shop. It was drop dead gorgeous, normally way more than any of us could have afforded and deeply on sale. And the last one in Lilly's size. After a waiting period of days, I went back, it was still there and I bought it. You could tell they were unhappy with it from day one. They talked about it a lot, what to do, whether to buy another one, always so I could hear. I know nothing was wrong with that dress. And there was nothing wrong with a Gramma buying a baptism dress as a gift. The only problem they had - it was me and they needed to hurt me.
Lilly was very beautiful in it.

At the baby shower, Ryan and Sandra had lost all pretense of being happy together. In front of the entire crowd. As parents we were mortified. We have never had a child of ours act so badly in public before. And she's 21! (BTW - The dress they put Lilly in for the shower was one of my many wasteful eBay purchases.) The day ended up with Sandra and Ryan (Still fighting) deciding to send Lilly home with us after the shower. They returned to Des Moines the next day. Another long story I won't go into here..
When they returned the next afternoon, Ryan started packing and Sandra announced he was moving out for good. Just as Ryan was getting ready to leave DHS showed up. Patty McAndrew (henceforth to be known as "Bad Patty"), not Kim. Bad Patty was completely clueless - possibly due to a problem with her eyesight - being her head was in a politically incorrect body area - (you know - up her ass).
Bad Patty's Sage Advice
If I didn't want to take care of the baby anymore, I should make them do it.
Instead of taking money from them, I should get a job. (FYI - Ryan was actually my superior at work and made more than me)
If the baby was bothering us at night, we should move the cradle to their room. Had she seen the cleanliness of their room she might have changed her mind on that one.
Only Sandra and Ryan were asked to do drug tests. And whenever they could get to it - no hurry.

****Attention all Iowa druggies (*this is your*clue*) You do have the right to get temporarily clean and sober before submitting to a drug test requested by the DHS!****
*be sure to ask for Patty McAndrew, she'll treat you right!*
%Polk County DHS
1200 University Avenue, Des Moines, Iowa 50314
515-283-9255
pmcandr@dhs.state.ia.us

Bad Patty finally left. Then Sandra and Ryan packed up, and they, of course, took Lilly. They explained, calmly, of course, that they weren't running away, we just all needed some space for a few days. We haven't been allowed to see Lilly since. And we have asked.
We asked to have her over the past weekend, Rand had one of his rare Sundays off. We were told they wouldn't feel comfortable with that. We also hoped to have Lilly on vacation while staying in our camper at our KOA next week.
Last night, we were finally told by Ryan we caused them too much stress (This floored us) and they wouldn't allow us to see Lilly for a very long time - (Supposedly) On advice from their attorney and Bad Patty. It seems we were trying to steal their baby.
I need to clarify that is was actually said we were a "flight risk". There was serious concern (supposedly suggested by Bad Patty) We could take off out of state with Lilly and they would never see us or her again. We could just leave in the camper and live on the run. Rand and I have been running a joke for the past couple of days about how well we would survive as "Carnie(sp?) People". For starters - He'll need some tattoos - I need to get a trampier wardrobe. And the entire extended family is ROFL with the thought of us trying to negotiate that many maps and roads. Our short trips are family legends in how lost can you get in familiar territory. We could teach a college course on that.
The only time Rand and I left the state in 2004:
Rand crossed the Minnesota state line by several miles to buy his current truck.
I was the travel winner for 2004. I went to Kansas City for David Thomas' First Communion.
Every vacation (all 4 weeks and then some) and almost every weekend was spent at This KOA.
Total Estimated Distance: 28.20 miles

Do we sound like flight risks?
They think we would leave our nice house, other kids, jobs, everything and everybody - just to steal our own granddaughter, who we thought, was just gone for a few days and still lived here.
Shoot, we'd miss Rob's wedding in 2007.

What causes this kind of par·a·noi·a?
( P ) Pronunciation Key (pr-noi) n.

1. A psychotic disorder characterized by delusions of persecution with or without grandeur, often strenuously defended with apparent logic and reason.
2. Extreme, irrational distrust of others.

Supposedly, (in the world according to Ryan) Bad Patty said I called the DHS (not a doctor) and reported the kids for drug use.
And Ryan even had to quit his job here (he said it was all my fault), because he was afraid to leave Sandra and the baby alone in Fort Dodge. There was no telling what craziness Randy and I might try.
It was suggested I could drive up there during the day while Rand was at work and physically take the baby from Sandra and then we would take off. Because of my medical conditions after a drive of much more than 30 minutes - I have a great deal of trouble walking when we do stop. A" grab and run" would be pretty difficult when you're concentrating on: left foot, right foot, repeat.
Mind you, he defines "having to quit" as leaving them high and dry and not even calling. Three days of no call - no show - he was fired.
And he didn't understand how I could be missing Lilly so badly - it had only been a week since I had seen her. (I must have an unhealthy obsession) This translates as:
if they don't understand our grief - they aren't emotionally bonding to Lilly yet.
Sandra wants to know why I wasn't being a better mother to her while she was staying here. Besides caring for a newborn - I tried to get her to get a job, get back in school, get in therapy, get out of bed, go for a walk, clean something! and all I got was treated rudely. And she is "supposedly" an adult - how much mothering did she need?

WARNING! The following may be to graphic for some delicate readers. Proceed at your own risk!
We did everything we could to keep Lilly loved, cared for, and safe.
We weren't trying to take her, but if they completely failed in life and backed out on her - we would have stepped in and given her a loving home forever. We have already proven that.
Ryan and Sandra are adults and we were willing to let them fall down how ever hard they needed to learn a life lesson.
We have provided them a home at no expense for well over a year.
They helped with no chores without being asked and usually not then either.
(for those who don't know Rand works a physically demanding job - 6-7 days a week and 10-12 hours a day and I get to legally park in handicap spots - help would have been welcome)
And since Sandra won't drive - I got to run her to every OB appointment and every errand.
We got to pay for the home pregnancy test.
Her first prenatal vitamins.
Her maternity clothes.
All of their heat, water, electric, phone, cable, groceries, etc..... I almost threw in cleaning supplies (I promise - they didn't use a lot of cleaning supplies), but hey, I guess we should only count the laundry soaps and fabric softeners.
It is our house it is only fitting we make all of that payment. We had let them have their downstairs bedroom, the downstairs family room (you know - the room with the fire, and big TV and surround sound) and the downstairs bath - which they didn't like because it wasn't as clean as the upstairs bath. They had full use of the kitchen (which they would not clean - mind you - even if it was their mess). And we didn't make them go to a laundromat. We even had to buy a new washer a few weeks ago. We wouldn't of dreamed of making them help pay for it. Actually we were in a total panic thinking we couldn't do without a washer with a baby in the house.
And the camper is a total luxury expense of our choice. One of the extravangte lifestyle choices we make. Mind you, they prefer sleeping in it to the tent we bought them. And trading up last year just so we would have room for a port-a-crib - so our choice. We were just so excited. The gleeful thought of taking our grandchild camping was way over the norm obviously.
And we gave them more money when they were running short (actual cash and use of our debit card) when they needed it for gas and other stuff they needed. (suckers must be tattooed on our foreheads by now)
We bought the majority of the beginning baby things, some of which had to be new - cause used wouldn't please them. I think that is the main problem they had with my "out of control spending" - the part that was pre-owned.
They won't return the used portable swing I bought off of eBay specifically for the camper (they need it) even though there is another perfectly good full size baby swing here they could be using. I don't plan on Lilly being my only grandchild and what is for the camper will stay in the camper for all of my future grandkids to use. I hope the other grandkids are allowed to see us and even perhaps!?!, go camping with us. I promise to try and not love them so much.

Have you all got your professional photos of Lilly? Oops - my bad. She's two months old and her parents haven't done that for her yet. I was going to take her in (finally - I'm tired of waiting) last week and at least get a professional shot of her in her baptism dress. I don't honestly know if I was going to share the photos with anyone though. Not after all the crap I took over that dress. But they lied when they left, and I didn't get to see Lilly anymore. No more Lilly pics for awhile - professional or otherwise.
All of the beautiful Lilly pictures the world has enjoyed are mine. Taken by me. Re-touched by me. Printed by me. I designed and printed and bought the stamps for the baby announcements for them. I designed the shower invitations. The thank you cards. Even the return address labels were designed and printed especially for them. By me.
I gave Jackie (Ryan's mom) a Grandma brag book full of pictures. I felt for her that she didn't get to enjoy Lilly on a daily basis like I did.
For those who don't know - that is where they are hiding. Because Ryan can provide for his family and he's proving that now! He was telling me all this on the phone. I was thinking at the time he was a pretty brave little man standing behind his mamma's skirt. I didn't say that out loud - last night.

We absolutely send no ill will toward Jackie and Chicco. They might being held hostage in as much as the same way we were. Stand back folks! They got a baby and they not afraid to use it! And that shoe were on the other foot - yeah - we would've took them in. We would do anything for Lilly's safety.

Sandra. Remember when we adopted Willie and how not everyone understood and how forever hurt your dad and that important relationship was never quite the same? You have now topped that - that is how hurt your dad is. And you can't un-ring a bell.

The rest of all your things will be packed and waiting on the porch when ever you want to come get it. This is now done. Everything is in boxes on the south end of the screen porch. We even put all the furniture we could fit out there for you. Rand and Will both took a day off to pack. Rand brought home the nice boxes and barrels from work. I packed up Lilly's things by myself - I had to do that for her. We kept a very few things (like Pooh) for "Gramma's house toys" here. Everything is ready to "load and go". It will take a bigger truck than you may think. Anything not picked up by April 15th will be forfeited to charity. It might be easier to move while the camper is out of the way.
FYI - TO ALL OUR KIDS: If you have a key to our house - it no longer works.
The kids said they were going to show up with a cop to get the rest of their things. Really not necessary guys. We are not that sort of people. We still can't believe you think you need an attorney (they supposedly did that on advice from Bad Patty)....And now a cop??? We don't need or want your stuff. The neighbors know us - and they know you - save any remaining dignity you may have.
Willie was ready to take the room back the night you left. You know, the room we made him give up so you could live here? And then he had to move to the smallest bedroom - which we made him give up for Lilly? For all you unknowing readers - poor Willie lives and entertains his friends in the laundry/downstairs bath area. Hey, we hung up blankets! We didn't let him take the room back until it was made quite certain by Ryan you would be gone for "quite awhile".
Lilly (and future grandkids) will always have "the nursery" room here. We will refurnish it.
Ryan and Sandra did pay for that room re-do, but Randy and I ended up finishing it. We were determined to make them finish it themselves, but Sandra was due any day and working her butt off in the dust (not healthy) and Ryan wasn't helping much and we just had to help. Sorry. Our bad.
(All we did was just paint, put up wainscoting, trim, and wall paper border, clean and move everything back in - which I got wrong of course!)

Ryan, I did notice you took all your movie pirating things and a few other programs off my computer, that was considerate. I don't like illegal things. I'm assuming you also downloaded everything else you needed since your leaving wasn't so much "our fault" as your planning ahead of time. Did you remember to steal Lilly's pictures and movies?

No more hiding the truth or protecting them in my blog. They can't hurt us anymore. They have already done the worse thing they could possibly ever do to us. Broke our hearts.

Consider yourselves swatted by the Mama Bear


postscript - I have received an apology from the DHS, through Bad Patty's supervisor Jason, for the way Patty handled things. Jason said Patty's notes "supposedly" do not contain a lot of what Ryan attributes as "Patty said" or "Patty advised". And he does admit she was not accurately prepared with facts to intervene that day. He even asked if Ryan was ""known" for blowing things out of proportion and suggested that might be what was going on.
They are very sorry for their role in destroying our family.
We would still love to have Lilly during our vacation. It would also give a lot of other people, who miss her dearly, a chance to see her.

Happy two month birthday sweet Lilly!

Hearts Hurt
Girlfriend just came out of the nursery again. She keeps looking for Lilly.
Kizzie is clinging to me more than ever. She was Lilly's furry little nanny.
The cat is howling day and night. She has been abandoned by her people.
It is so sad here. And lonely. And quiet. Seems so empty.
The cat isn't the only one still crying.

Predictable
We start our first vacation of the year at our favorite KOA this Friday. Weatherman said tonight - a very unusual weather pattern for this time of year is approaching for the coming weekend. We might see several inches of snow. Figures. We'll still go. We are still hoping to take Lilly with us, but that hasn't been cleared with her parents yet.

So Sorry
One of our favorite people at the KOA is Caitlin. Her boyfriend was killed in a car accident this weekend.

Next Up
We are planning to spend part of our vacation in May in Arkansas - visiting classmate Jackey and his family. We will start out at our KOA. Dave's letting everyone stay for free on the 13th.
We have again taken the second week in July as vacation also. No real plans yet. Probably spend it with our KOA gang.

So Far So Good
The folks and Rob have arrived safely at Alan and Lesia's in Texas.

Nights are so empty. The days so dark. I so miss Lilly.

I hear her cry in my sleep and wake up to more nothingness.

I shut the door to her room to block out the emptiness, but then the darkness overtakes.

It is amazing how much one little soul changed the feel of the house.
Lilly is an old soul - she brought much wisdom, love, and peace. Nothing like a baby in your arms to make all right in the world. Staring into each other's eyes to make that forever connection.
A granddaughter and her gramma - a lifelong love connection.

I remember when my Gramma died. I was so utterly lost. No one was ever going to love me that completely and honestly - there was no one left who thought I had worth of kings - no one else left on the earth who's job it was to spoil me with love.

I so looked forward to being a grandma. It brought me more joy than I ever dreamed possible. I knew just how to love, and spoil - this little girl would always have one person she could always depend on to be in her corner. Being a gramma, I thought not even the air I breathe as important as her sweet smile.

She is going to forget me very soon.

This being a grandma has now brought more heart ache than I may be able to bear. How do you get over this much love missing in your life?

The dogs are checking Lilly's room less frequently now. The cat has befriended all. Willie comes home for lunch just to give me a hug.

The camper sits ignored. We were going to have so much fun camping with Lilly. Doesn't feel like the fun will be there now.

Somebody give her Gramma kisses for me.

Looks like the end of the Lilly updates

Lilly and her parents are still staying in Fort Dodge with her other grandma and have decided to try and relocate there. This gramma's heart is broken and I really miss my BooBoo. This is the longest we have ever been apart.
I was one of the first to realize this angel was on the way to join us here on earth. I went to all the prenatal visits, was one the first to hear her heartbeat and watch her kick on ultrasound. I helped in delivery. I've cared for Lilly every day and most nights since her birth almost two months ago. A big chunk of my heart is now missing. All joy has left our home.
I don't think my tears will ever stop.

Our "home away from home" is home again! In just over a week we'll be on vacation! 

Lillian Mae 

Time for Joe and Heidi to head for the airport - saying good-bye at the baby shower 

It was love at first sight...... 

Lilly with the whole baptism group. 

Lilly and her Godparents; Joe and Heidi. 

Hmmmm.........


other trip news
Sandy, Ryan and Lilly are now in Fort Dodge getting ready for the big weekend up there. I got to meet Joe and Heidi from New Hampshire who will serve as Lilly's Godparents. They are really a wonderful couple! Lilly seemed absolutely delighted with them. Since I get to sleep all night tonight and sleep in, any bets on if Willie will find some reason to wake me before he goes to school tomorrow?

A Happy girl who awoke only once last night.

I demand a recount
It's more like 15 days until we go camping.
Speaking of camping, KOA's offers a free night of camping on May 13th. There has been talk of having another snipe hunt that weekend.


And this for weekend Rand had a suprise for me. We are staying in a hotel in Fort Dodge so we can attend the Baptism of Lilly Saturday night and her baby shower the following day. The hotel has a swimming pool! (It takes so little to really to make me happy) We will go up after Rand gets off work on Saturday.

Recognize this look? Lilly is concentrating on ~something~ 

Miss Lilly Boo has awaken from her nap! 

Getting bigger - but not quite big enough to play.

This is the same sleeper, and of course, saucer Lilly posed in a month ago. In the previous picture, she didn't begin to fill out this sleeper and to pose her so small, I crossed her legs in front of her in the seat. This time, The sleeper fits nicely, her legs are properly in the leg openings and she is much taller in the seat! In a month, I doubt if this sleeper fits. We will do another pose in her saucer to check her growth.

Poor Baby
Miss Lilly was sick this past weekend - a bit barfy. We went through all her burp clothes and most of her wardrobe on Saturday. If she ate what she wanted - most of it would make a return trip. I finally was giving her partial doses of her Gripe Water and just one or two of ounces of formula until she had settled it. She was eating about every hour on the hour or more. This also made for a very unhappy baby. And one tired Gramma. Just today is she getting back to her regular moods, eating schedule, and formula amounts. She did toss her last predawn bottle of the night (about 5am), but has done very well all day. Got a bit grumpy this evening, but I think she was over tired. She pretty well skipped taking an afternoon nap. Aunt Kara came over to play and they had lots of fun!
Her skin was looking very nice again before all this hit, but with the stress it has flared up some again.

Lilly will now carry on an entire conversation with me.
I was changing her diaper and asked her what she had in there for me - Lilly replied, "Goo".
Lilly spit up and I asked what came out - she replied, "Goo".
I was putting Butt Paste on her bottom and asked what Gramma was applying, Lilly said, "Goo".
I was applying her eczema cream and asked her what Gramma was smearing on her, Lilly smartly answered, "Goo".
Asked her what she wanted for lunch - yep - "Goo".
Lilly also talks in her sleep now.

19 days before we go camping.
Hopefully we will bring home the camper early next week to start re-packing for the season. They're still working on it from the new camper blues we went through last year.

Baby-made "bottom bubbles" in the bath are scary.
A yellow spot is instant panic bath-is-over time.

Excuse me - you got a little something there....

Finishing up supper with Gramps.

Look at those baby blues!

Of course, it might be several months before we know what color they really are.
In my recent studies I have learned that primary eye color is blue. If the eyes predetermined to be another color, it takes awhile for the baby to produce the color molecules. It could take up to nine months before Lilly's true color shows. They might just stay this gorgeous deep blue.