I told you I was sick
Time to review a few safety rules.
Please keep your arms and legs in at all times.
Bears don't have a lot of friends in the forest. They don't need them. They are quite self-sufficient and self-reliant. There are a trusted very few allowed in their inner circle. It is always a relationship of honesty and trust. It is the only way it can be. Otherwise, the bear would eat them.
When a bear is sick, injured, or threatened in anyway - they will attack. It is a guarantee. I have always pointed out to those around me - you wouldn't poke a injured real bear with a stick - same goes with me. When I'm hurting - back off. I've had a lifetime of serious health problems and will live with serious pain the rest of my life. When it is really bad - back off. Same goes with an emotional pain. Don't poke the hurt bear. If you're real nice to the bear, gain it's confidence, "maybe" you can pull the thorn out of it's paw - but I wouldn't poke it with a stick. Ever.
Don't ever mess with a bear's cubs. You won't win.

This bear is sick
I woke up this morning and breathing was funny. Not funny haha; funny odd. I went and looked the the mirror. My neck was swollen to larger than my head. I've been trying to put off going to the doctor, but I was obviously losing this battle. I went as a walk in. I have a wonderful bacterial thing going which had now invaded my sinuses. It's previous victories were all soft mouth tissues, throat, and ears. My body aches so bad, I don't really trust my legs to remember the walking drill. We have some downward dips, nope, I got it - I'm back up.
My head hurts, my face hurts, my skin hurts.
I got two new meds to fight this bug. I was also to get new epipens for the coming seasons. Doc and I both forgot. We were having too much fun with my crud.
The pharmacist said one of the drugs could effect my sleep. Here I am at 2am.
Lilly update
The talented Miss Lilly has learned to roll over. (and over and over and over)

Great Grandma says everything is all right
She was sitting in her favorite camping rocker when it suddenly decided to fold up. With Grandma still in it. At first there was a fear she might have broke her foot, and her back was really bad, (it's never really good). She refused to go to the doctor, in spite of demanding I must go. Your turn's coming old lady!

glimpsed
The news was a doggy/owner reunion at the ARL. I swear I saw my brother Jeff lurking in the background. There have been talks of them adding to their family.
Later, I went to check my favorite small town paper, the Osceola Sentinel-Tribune. Where, I swear, I saw my other brother Jeff lurking in the background.
They're everywhere! They're Everywhere!

My Photo Friday contribution for fancy
Click the picture for a larger view

fancy clothes & a fancy car
Hoover's Prom 2003

This was a wonderful evening. Randy and I served about a dozen prom goers a nice sit down pre-prom meal in our three seasons room. We had help in the kitchen, a proper waiter, candles, roses, - it was a beautiful evening. The lilacs bloomed just in time to make a colorful back drop in pictures and softly fragranced the air. The temperature of the day was warm, sunny with a light breeze.
The room had been decorated elegantly to the surprise of the teens. I took many pictures of the couples and friends. Then their limo pulled up out front. We snapped a few last photos. All found their spot in the luxurious car and just like Cinderella, they were off to the ball!
All the kids received a picture CD of all of my pictures taken of that magical evening for their memory books.
It was fun!

I really want to be done,
but this theme is annoying.
And they posted on an irrelvant site so I decided to bring it forward where it could be found.

Anonymous said...

I think you should be held accountable since this party was in your house. Oh, and you keep calling your kid no different than others and then refer to him as a sheep. What ignorant parent would leave a sheep (special needs as you defend and then use to make him seem pathetic) alone for a week on spring break with a bunch of wolves.

2:29 PM

I replied,

A real sheep is a follower. (Maybe only farm kids know that.)
It is NOT a definition of a "type" of special need.
I thought about using a lemming as an example, but if you don't get the "sheep" thing - I have doubts you would even know what a lemming is. (Look it up)

I have slightly edited and tried to re-clarify the "Reamed" post.
I can only clarify so much in writing.

So are you a wolf, or are you raising one?
Have you considered training in obedience and housebreaking?

4:59 PM

one month today
One month ago, we came home and discovered the damages and theft.
I know everyone is real excited and this is new news to you, but we are just tired. The only thing that has changed for us is the calendar.
I have a flaw of always looking for the best in people. Maybe, someday, after I get taken advantage of enough times, I will quit doing that. I can become continually non-trusting, mean, assume no one deserves a first chance - let alone a second chance, mouth off constantly. People will then go out of their way to avoid me. Could make life easier for me, someday.
I really hoped to get face to face apologies.
I really thought most parents cared about their children.
I really thought manners were important.
I really thought honesty was a virtue.
I really thought the school cared for our children.
I really expected those kids, who considered Willie their friend, I expected at least some of them, to step up more in his defense, aid, sympathy......something.
Wouldn't want you in the trenches with me. (They don't "got your back".)
I really doubt some of these teens are going to improve the condition of the world as adults.
Kind of a scary thought isn't it? They are the future leaders of our nation.
(Now there's a graduation speech that wouldn't bore the snot out of you!)
It really scares me that crimes were committed against us and the first responding officer told us tough luck. Neighbors have had the same problem when reporting the occasional vandalism. How safe and protected are you feeling these days?

Willie has become a lot more respectful to us, most of the time. He is still 18-going-on-major-attitude, sometimes. It is a lot easier to talk to him, about anything and everything. He has learned maybe I do carry some wisdom that is worth listening to. And he still has a long way to go in his punishment. There is not a set time set to when his punishment ends. He has to regain our trust. Could be awhile.

thank you
Thanks to everyone who supported me here. It is heart warming to know that some people do get the big picture - we are in this together. It does take a village. I appreciate those that took the time to read my blog, get the details for yourself - and then - took the time to comment here.
Don't let the negative commentaries get to you too much. If you're not part of the solution, then you must be part of the problem. We all know where we each stand.
And who knew Toyotas were American made?!
(We're not laughing with you - we're laughing at you.)
If there are those that wish to continue to leave comments on this subject, feel free.
A big thank you to the person that sent me the letter about their daughter's similar experience in her home. Very interesting and empowering! Thank you for sharing!

friends
I do hope to keep some of you as new friends. Feel free to email me. You can find a link on my profile.
Wanona - our oldest son, Rob, is a grad student and TA at Iowa State! You do understand where I am at as a Gramma. I keep being promised the pictures are coming. (still waiting) But pictures will never fill this hole in my heart either.
Joe Brooks - For your age, you have a lot of maturity.
jreeves - thanks for sharing your story as well. People could learn from your experiences. You are a perfect example of parents sticking together.

continuing on
I'm going to try to take my blog back to my usual fare - family, friends, camping, gardening and my view from these - my middle ages.

In other news, I think I might have strep throat. I may be a survivor, but my immune system sucks. The stress always wins. The pain always wins. I never win. But I will bite back! ;)

Hey kids! (my kids) In the midst of all this mess - Emily found me! She is back in Des Moines, I hope to see her soon. Emily is one of the bravest, craziest kids to go with Sandra to Adventureland. (high school level only - Not too much can top young Sandra and Missy's eternal Silly Silo ride quest)

Saturday while mowing, Rand spotted a baby rabbit struggling in the yard. I managed to capture him. We looked all around for a nest, but could not locate one. I relocated the baby to nearby safe hedge outside of our yard. Girlfriend thinks they are quite delicious. There's one she didn't get.

My Scrambler has a fresh battery and is ready to roll. Now if only the camper weren't in the way and it was 30 degrees warmer.......

Gabby (age 4) gets her 10th set of ear tubes tomorrow. As bad as that sounds, her doctor pointed out if not for the modern miracle of today's ear tubes - Gabby would have developed a serious hearing loss. Just ask Rob. Or Willie. Or Grandpa. Or Jeff. Or......
(remember to speak up when you ask)

I finally found the listing for the folk's home on-line. I'm quite impressed with the job the realtor did. Very impressive! I just heard they already have an offer.

breaking news
The Des Moines Airport was shut down today when a Buick went through an Air National Guard check point and began driving on taxiways. The police cars chased the Buick for awhile before they were finally able to get it to stop. The driver was a confused 70yr old man with a history of dementia. He is being held on federal charges. I called the folks immediately. Relax everybody - Dad's at home and hasn't been anywhere today. :)

It has been almost a month since we saw our Lilly last. We have only seen her once in the last two months. Today Sandra called with a lot of details on a recent photo shoot. I cried a long time after. We miss her so much.

it's about the kids
Always has been, always will be.
It's not about our parenting skills, or even the other parents' parenting skills. Most of these partiers are from good families, with good homes and where good examples have been set. They are the award winners, peer leaders, top athletes, and role models among their schools. They are highly thought of by their coaches, teachers, and employers. And not by mistake. They are decent young people who have earned those labels as well.
I did the kids bit in my title, because they barely qualify for that title. Most of these young people would prefer to be called adults. Some are just into their teen years. Adulthood is a sign of years, of education gained, and a stepping out to be your own self. But maturity is more than a measurement of years.

Maturity
To be known and respected as your own person, not just as 'so-and-so's' son or daughter, you must also be willing to stand up for yourself and your decisions. Defend yourself only when necessary. (example: Never argue with an idiot, listeners can't tell which is which) Apologize when ever it might be necessary - words and actions can cause deep, lasting wounds. You get to make the choices. And finally, as an adult you get to deal with the consequences of your choices.

There are some who's actions were so seriously wrong - they will be separated from their families, friends, and society in general. That is the consequence of the most serious action they chose to make. I hope they are tried as the adults they no doubt think they are. I'm sure some attorney is trying to backpedal that thought as fast as he can for them.
I have not buried this crime or thought my losses were more important. I know more details than most and my only goal is to protect the young victim. It is not my place nor is it my right to "advertise" this crime.

the blog
I am not trying to sell subscriptions here or up my readership. This is my personal journal of my journey in life. Considering my family genetics, I might not get to remember everything a couple of decades down the road. I need to put it somewhere. (Now if I could only remember where I put it.)
I started writing during the early 1990's. Emotional pain hurts less on the outside. It was recommended by a doctor during the bone tumor and RSD years. A dear classmate and old friend gave me my first journal. As pain increases and functions decrease, typing has become preferred to hand writing. A few computer crashes later, I finally learn blogging is safer than hard drive.
Personally, I'm looking forward to seeing my reader numbers drop. I am only about truth, not sensationalism, and most people will find that a bit boring. One highlight of my blog is finding new friends along the way - a small reward I truly enjoy. I enjoy the bits of humor life offers. And when you have a Willie, you're never without. I'm not afraid to share the tragedies. Hopefully someone else can gain strength knowing we don't all struggle alone, learn from our mistakes, or even offer aid to another with gained insight.

why
Which, is why I did write about the party. There are parents who, just as we were, completely blind sided by their child's actions. These, for the most part, are kids who had earned our trust, and rightfully so.
I chose to go to the school first because I considered it the "center" of these young peoples lives. I also figured it would be the quickest way to the parents. I was led on to believe they were grateful for my call. They wanted to help the kids and save bright futures as I did. I thought actions were being taken.
I know better now.
It's all about the school for administrators, which is a separate entity from the kids. The school pays their salaries. The school is the source of their livelihood. If the kids don't do succeed, it can get in the way of the school. They slow it down, the numbers aren't so good. It can lower the funding the school receives. I'm sure, somewhere out there, there are educators who really want to be there for the kids, I'm still waiting to see it with my own eyes.
As a parent, and a former home schooling parent, for me it is always about the kids. I based my home school on a quote from Yeats. "Education is not the filling of a bucket, it is the lighting of a fire." I didn't want to just fill them with necessary knowledge to achieve a piece of paper, I wanted to give them a thirst to always seek knowledge. I wanted to install values, ethics, and morals. I suppose it was idealistic to expect the same of public school administrators.
The community, for the most part, are glad to have the knowledge. Ignorance is not bliss.
Those who wish to judge me - I don't care. You're entitled to your opinion, as I am mine. But being high- minded and judgmental won't swing my opinion of you at all.
You weren't and aren't here - in my shoes. Actually, I prefer to be without shoes - steel plate in one foot. A little souvenir from the tumor. My other souvenirs from that difficult time in my life were among the things taken from me. Money can't replace those. Probably didn't even look like much to the people who took them. They were my right of survival. I drew strength from them. If I could come through that - I could do anything. I'm in a place again in life I need to work on my foundation; and somebody has stole my tools.
We know our son better than anyone. This was our home, our belongings, and I will never be able to forget what horrible crime happened here. I get to see the visuals every day folks and it completely breaks my heart - every day.
We are still obtaining names and details of the many events that happened here. It was a big week. It will take a long time to get an accurate time line. Willie didn't know all the kids here. We may never know all the names. Willie called us, we called him, Randy popped in, Willie went to work, even visited the neighbors - as expected, and when Willie left, he left people here in our home. Unsupervised.
We will never entirely know what happened in our home.
And this is our home. Not just a house. Not an open crib. This is our refuge from the world. We should feel safe here. We barely feel comfortable here now. We don't even feel comfortable shopping for groceries now. We still discover things that are missing. We are still finding BBs.

hindsight
We did discuss having Willie stay at the campground with us that week, but I was worried about the daily interstate commute to work. I didn't want him in an accident and snow was predicted.
Funny, I thought I was keeping him safe.

Just to clear up a few details and comments:
The 2 partial bottles of liquor left behind was left over from the holidays. It was in the "big freezer" - out of sight, out of mind. And one of those bottles wasn't ours. We were responsible for "providing" about a cup of Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum. Most of the alcohol, all of the drugs, and porn were brought by our un-invited guests.
We did take our beer and wine with us. (Wine tasting is one of my hobbies. I tend to save this for camping vacations and other special occasions with friends.) We are not "big" drinkers. Not daily drinkers or even weekly or monthly at times. Our children have been shown by example that moderation is a choice. And we do not allow them before the legal age of 21 to join us in an alcoholic beverage.
We are also very active campers. Willie has been left before as he has to work most weekends. He had a very busy work schedule that week. We are always available by cell phone. And Willie knows exactly where to find us - it is a short drive. We are even available by email. Dave would have let us know at the campground.
And there were "checks" in place.
First and foremost, we have a strong family decades old rule
- No Parents, No Friends.
It is posted for ALLto see. If we aren't home there are to be no friends in the house. If our kids go somewhere and discover parents aren't there, they are to leave. This was on the discussed list with Willie before we left.
We talked to Willie by phone several times and Rand even popped in one day by surprise. He didn't think to look for kids hiding. (If they weren't doing anything wrong, why were they hiding?)
When neighbors checked in with Willie several times (people we describe as Willie's second parents on the block and dear friends) and when they did break up a party and got all the kids to leave, they snuck back in later. Once again, obviously knowing they were breaking the rules. Yes, we were told by our neighbors - that's why we came home.
We were at a local campground. We weren't on a trip. We were around and very reachable. We are stricter than most parents we know. I have mostly been an at home mom for my kids. Even homeschooled for a few years. We have been good role models for our kids. It is unfortunate that most of the kids that were here, haven't spent a lot of time being influenced by us.
I gave up talking to other parents about "concerns" years ago. I get very weary of hearing the "boys will be boys" speeches. I don't buy into it myself. I'm raising gentlemen. (Rob, Eric, and Willie will back that up) I'm not going to chase the kids down and talk to them. That sounds like harassment to me. And it's not my job to discipline them. They are not my kids. Though as part of the village it takes - I am doing something. I didn't sweep it under the rug.
My biggest concern and duty here is to offer a wake-up call to parents. (We certainly got one.) What the kids are doing is very dangerous. Somebody did get hurt. A lot of lives will be forever changed. And this was just one party. There have been others. This is the first time anyone has gone this public. And there will be more parties without parents' knowledge. Alcohol has proven very deadly to teens in recent news. Drugs stop brain sections from working entirely and forever. The casual sex that these young adults participate in can have serious health consequences.
Parents must take an active role. It is very sad to not be able to trust our children. Some parents are afraid of losing the "friendship" they have with their children. I have never tried to be my children's friend. I'm the mom. That's my job and my God given responsibility. Someone has to be the responsible one.
We did leave. We are guilty of that. But we have raised decent young adults and we did have complete trust in Willie. There were people here he didn't know and this, by sheer numbers alone, was way out of his control. There were choices he could have made: calling us for help, going to the neighbors, calling 911; but he didn't. We have had many discussions with him on choices and consequences.
Will he always make the right choices after this? Nope. Being human he is destined to make mistakes. Have I made the right choice in talking about this on my blog? I am already receiving criticism. But if it changes even one life for the better - I'm more than big enough to take it. I have the ability to not allow comments on my blog, but I give you the right to disagree. Just be sure of your facts before you comment.
Willie was and is still being severely punished. And he will be for a long time. He is paying us for damages. Our trust in him has to be re-established, and that will take a long time to earn back.
I have not protected him. If I were protecting him, the world wouldn't know about it. Willie didn't steal anything from us. Willie didn't break anything. Willie tried to clean up continuously. And Willie is at fault.
I was not ignoring the issue of the horrendous crime that occurred here. I didn't report on it in details on my blog to protect the young victim and the integrity of the investigation. We called the police as soon as we knew and have completely cooperated and helped in any way we can.

(Ryan, we do care about you and consider you a part of our family. We don't hate you. We are just disappointed. We really wanted to be a big part of all of your lives. Our lives were turned upside down, our hearts were broke, and we miss all of you. Thanks for your support here, son. It means a lot.)

front page
The week long party hit the front page of the Des Moines Register today.
I hope good comes of this. Parent should know. If Willie had participated in something like this somewhere else - I would want to know.
I'm sure some parents will have a lot of problem with this and me. That would be a basic natural balance that must always occur.
So far the criticism leans toward us leaving Willie alone. Most of these kids will be leaving for college in a few months. At what point are they supposed to be trusted to be mature and responsible?
Our only mistake was trusting Willie. We didn't abandon or neglect him. There were check points in place. Willie will be 19 in June. He has been raised to be a wonderful young man who most people delight in knowing. He is a friend to all with no boundaries of age, race, or abilities. And that trust we have for Willie, has been installed in him as well.
As a family we genuinely have trust for most of the human race. And when you tend to only look for the good in people, you do get burned. As much as Willie disappointed us, it as been even harder watching him realize how many "friends" took advantage of him. His trust has been broke as well.

An Iowa Spring?

Nope. Taken our during our first big snow storm this year.

I was going to write about the weather we have been having and I just got my Photo Friday Challenge of the week: Soft. I didn't have a picture for the post and decided to find a soft weather pic to go with my post.

the weather - this week - only in Iowa
I have a new vehicle, which in my book, is the ultimate in topless adventure. The day I bought it I was able to do my maiden drive home with no top.
The next day it was still warm, but threatening rain. I chose to leave my top on. It made it a good opportunity to test the air conditioning. It worked fine.
Today has been just plain cold, wet and miserable. We actually ran the heater and, of course, my top was on. I was putting out so much heat, Rand started to complain. Quite a difference from my old toy.
The forecast for the weekend really bites. Rainy, windy and even colder. Possibly might even be frosty a night or two. Way too cold to consider going topless - even if it doesn't rain.
Rand loves these conversations. While I was taking pictures of my Jeep he asked if I was going to do any with my top off. He didn't think the neighbors would complain much.
If you really want to tickle Rand, ask him how his deck is doing.

I think, therefore, I might
I'm giving serious thought to selling my Scrambler. It is getting harder and harder for me to manage it. My arthritis slows me down a lot on play time. I can't ride as long because it is a rougher ride. It takes more strength to steer, shift, maintenance, and I will probably regret it, but, I think it is time. 1981 Jeep Scrambler Original 256 6cyl engine. It's worth $5K (or better). It is usually my daily drive in the warm weather months so it does run well. I'm starting with slow word of mouth, if you know someone who wants a real toy, have them email me.

pretty
My latest project has been renovating a "cheap find" highchair. I ordered new cushions and straps, spent a day with my Shark steam cleaner, bleach and Goof Off - this chair now looks fabulous. You can raise or lower the height of the chair and the tray is a one hand easy operation.

All ready for Lilly
The entire redo cost $26. The chair sold new for $80-100. Quite a bargain!
Sandra says Lilly has been getting tastes of things and is real excited while watching them eat. Won't be long before she's chowing down for real.

my new toy

This tree hugger has traded in her hybrid for a Jeep!
I can get closer to the trees now!

The rest of the story....
I first saw this 2000 Jeep Wrangler Sport when I went to pick up my Prius following the Willie repairs. She caught my eye. A few days after that Rand asked a hypothetical question; "If I were to trade in my Prius, what would I want to trade for?" His goal was to lower our monthly expenses since I'm home now. My goal was to increase my fun factor. This beauty filled both our needs. She has no body or interior damage, an AM/FM/CD stereo with roll bar speakers, and rides just as sweet as my Prius. It is a 6 cylinder and a 5-speed. Willie can't drive a stick. I think I've solved another problem as well. :)
I had to learn to adjust in driving because it handles so much easier than my Scrambler. Randy finally told me to quit wrestling with it - it's not fighting back.

interesting tidbits
This Jeep was traded by her owner - for a Prius.
I traded in a Prius to own this Jeep.
My Prius sold in less than two hours after we dropped it off.

I just got reamed......
......By Connie Cook, Hoover High School's Vice Principal. A Des Moines Register reporter is reading about the spring break party stories I've been writing about here in my blog. Ms. Cook let me know in a loud voice that she is very disappointed in me. How dare I write about such things and hurt the school this way! I reminded her that we are the hurt party here. Our house was used. Our things were stolen and vandalized. Her precious students are the guilty ones.
We still haven't even got a single apology.
Ms. Cook seemed to think I should have more "school pride" and be more protective of our school. Yeah, right.

Ms. Cook, I am not, have never been, and will never be a crowd follower. I and my sweet hubby didn't have "school spirit" when we were teenagers. We don't feel "the bond" on an adult level. We don't go nuts for any sports or team, professional or otherwise.
As teens, we didn't participate in those activities like which happened in our home. We were good kids, who respected adults, other people's property, and practiced good Christian morals. We were responsible "farm kids" who were too busy working from the earliest of memories to participate in much else in life.
Our loyalties are to God, family & friends, and in that order.
I was homeschooling Willie until he begged to go to public school. He wanted the school spirit, the crowds, the sports, more friends. We can all see how well that worked out for him.

Do I look scared?
Ms. Cook threatened me that she would tell the reporter that we left Willie, a very special needs student, home alone for an entire week! She would get it publicized that we are bad parents. For the very public record here. Willie's "special needs" consists of a sporadic, short term memory loss. That is all. It effects the way he is able to learn, but he is able to learn. Most people, who know Willie, have no idea that he is "special" at all. He is very normal by most standards. And he will be 19 years old in 2 months. I don't know of too many parents afraid to leave adults home alone. Willie can drive, cook, clean, and has a job. He is about to graduate from Hoover with a decent GPA. It is not like he needs constant supervision. His requirements are pretty much the same as any normal young adult. And he is just as capable of making mistakes, as we all are.
Willie's biggest mistake was trusting his "friends". He is not a leader, and at times did ask people to leave. They simply refused and Willie did not know how to change that. He did invite friends over against our rules, but less than half of the crowd that were here were invited. Willie and his first small invited group started with DVDs and Kool Aid. Other "friends" brought the booze, drugs, porn.......and it was "friends" that did the damage, stealing and sexually assaulted a peer. Willie's true friends, quit coming over to our house. It was a bad scene and they didn't want to be associated with it.
I will even shine the light toward your "angle", Ms. Cook.
Willie is completely self-sufficient and capable of taking care of himself. Everybody knows that. But he isn't ready yet for much more than that.

begin sarcasm
It was his "Hoover friends", who took advantage of this "poor special needs kid" and his situation who are too blame. Purposely taking advantage of a mentally disabled person - doesn't get much lower than that.
end sarcasm
Willie is as normal as any teen. (that could be sarcastic)

But yet, Ms. Cook, you hold me responsible, and blame me for trouble yet to be seen for using my God given right of freedom of speech in a blog. Shoot, even God likes my blog and frequently comments.
And you tried to threaten me - using my son. We are not ashamed of him. Shame on you for trying that angle.
You thought you could make me cower down by using your position. My family and friends are chuckling out loud as they read this. I've, in the past, taken on the DOT, the DHS, various local governments, and industries. I'm not going to bow in fear to a high school principal. I was a home-schooling parent - that was your clue on how I could be dealt with. Intimidation was a poor choice.

I've got a news flash for you Ms. Cook:
The world does not revolve around Hoover High School.
It is actually a very small fish in a very large world. The difference in how most people perceive their world is their ratio in self-perception. I'm a global thinker.
And if parents had to choose between protecting their school's reputation or knowing the truth thus being able to more effectively protect and guide their teen; most will chose truth. Most people I know choose truth over deception on any given day. (Maybe that's just the company I keep.) I don't know about you Ms. Cook, but I want to help the kids. The ones that were in our home, need to learn from their mistakes. Other kids can learn the dangers of these mistakes. Parents can question, watch behaviors, be better informed, and be armed with the sword of truth. An education of the facts here won't hurt, it can only help.
Sweeping things under the rug doesn't help anybody. As my wise father says, "Even the rug benefits from a good shaking now and then."

Bloggers were Time Magazine's People of the Year in 2004
My blog is my journal of my life. I write about everything here. It is our family "newspaper". It is a way for friends and family located all over the USA and the world to keep up on our lives. You get factual events, announcements, and plenty of opinions. (Of course, my opinions were quite well known before blogs were ever invented) From family living out of state to family fighting in Iraq, many appreciate the work I do here. (Many were grateful to "meet" granddaughter Lilly when she was just hours old.)
We have planned large group vacations and this is the check point.
People look for other ideals, views, and information here.
In this day and age of schedules and everybody always busy and running, this is my letter, my phone call, and my visit.
And some people just stumble across and enjoy reading my writing, my thought processes, my brilliant wit and humor. (Okay, now my brothers and son, Rob, are laughing again!)
Yet, Ms. Connie Cook (515-242-7307), seemed to think not all information should pass through here. A public school official trying to ban and/or edit my book. In this day and age.
What next? A witch hunt?

on to things that really matter
Willie is seriously considering joining the National Guard. Seriously - as in - is starting the testing, physical, and paperwork process Tuesday. Willie thinks this is the best way to get money for school, training in career, and self discipline. He completely surprised us with this. He told us last night. The recruiters were here this afternoon to fill us in on details.
As parents, our first thoughts of course, were of the current war and dangers to him. But Willie has thought about this and he made a mature decision. We back his decision.

The folks have discovered their Des Moines home has a gas leak. I told you I smelled something. With all of the Old Guy's adventures in mothballs it was just hard to prove. With the house sitting empty, a realtor showing the house detected a strong smell. The gas is shut off and repairs are being made.

Add to the list of things missing: a drinking glass. Not a big deal, unless you know how hard I have hunted and shopped to find my unique glassware. This is one of only two. Replacing it will be nearly impossible.
That is the problem with a lot of the missing things. I'm an eclectic scavenger. I like the rare, unusual, and unique. A lot of the little things taken can't be replaced or a price even assigned to them. They are more than the dollar amount it took to purchase them. It was the life experience and memories that made the item whole. It was their story that gave them life and value.

empty

Happy "3 month" birthday Lilly!
We love you and miss you.
Gramps & Gramma

much done - much to do
Gorgeous weekend #2 and we weren't camping. But we were outside. Saturday I made a trip to Holub Garden Center. I bought pink geraniums to place around my birdbath. Every year it has been something different. I really liked the marigolds I did a couple years back, but also like to experiment with various size and colors of plants.
I also bought Moss Rose (Portulaca) seeds. It's too early for the seedlings to be out in nurseries and too late to start seeds indoors. Years ago, I did have some success with direct sowing moss rose seeds early. I thought I'd experiment with some of that and might just try to plant a seed tray for kicks. I'm somewhat bored and haven't had this much time to devote to plants for years. I even bought an African violet. My house plants (both of them) have never been healthier. Time to expand.
Rand and I went to Ace Hardware and stocked up on chemicals and other supplies for the yard. And rodent poison for the garage. I also dug out my Jerry Baker books and calendars. I'm getting a late start this spring, but it is never too late.
Rand also accompanied me to Earl May on Sunday. I bought a few more plants for my outside pots and one for the "newly named" old fashion shade garden. It was my vegetable garden, but after a few years of trying, there is just not enough sunshine there for my tomatoes. So I'm turning it into a perennial shade garden. I'm hoping to make it more" old time" is appearance. My hope is to add columbines, bleeding hearts, astilbe, blue bells, forget-me-nots, and a few more on the list. - trying to come up with a shade garden of years gone by. Not all of these are readily available in stores. I've got time. While at Early May, we had shopped and discussed possible shrub planting for the front of the house. Our main concern being - if anything could be planted. Our entire property was landscaped, by a previous owner, with more river rocks than any property should ever own. When we had problems in years past trying to get through the rock to do anything. I fell in love with a white hydrangea and knew exactly where I would want it. Rand agreed. When we got home he did a test hole - which went perfect. Where we wanted the hydrangea was an easy dig. So we went back to Early May and got our plant.
I also transplanted a bleeding heart from the front to the shade garden. Wrong time of year to move it, but the right time for me. It will hopefully chose life. It should prefer this location.
Neighbor Jim threw a peony start over the fence for me. Hopefully, it will take off in it's new spot as well. I put it where Randy can't mow over it. He isn't real fond of peonies. Most of the neighborhood was out working in their yards yesterday. We are a friendly area - frequently visiting and sharing over the fence.
I already have one of my pair of cardinals back. Last year I hosted 3 couples. Yesterday I saw one very young male cardinal. I wonder if he was hatched here last year.
My pond is drained, cleaned, and ready to be filled. (One of Willie's new chores) This year I'm starting from scratch. I don't know what happened last year. Came back from camping and all my fish and plants were dead. I had those fish for years. It was like losing a pet. I can't fill my pond until Sandra and Ryan get their stuff moved. The water spigot for the backyard is unreachable at this point.
Last summer, Rand and I spent a long hard weekend, laying landscaping bricks to form a landing, walkway, and BBQ spot at the bottom of the screen porch steps. We discussed at length which stones, what colors, etc. - this was a permanent addition and a lot of hard work. A few weeks ago, Willie was spray painting his shoes (I don't know! - it seems to be a teen trend around here). I knew he had headed to the backyard to do this art. My mistake was thinking "yard". Our new brick area now has large areas of red and white paint in shoe shapes and treads. Nothing we have tried will even lighten it.
Rain is called for the next few days - time to concentrate on indoor chores.

"May you live in interesting times."
- Chinese curse

My Week
I'm very pleased to say life has been sort of dull lately.
I think I have the worse of the obsessive cleaning out of my system.
Mom and Dad took us to supper at our favorite Mexican restaurant.
We are still not ready to go camping this weekend on an emotional level. Of course, it is going to be another drop dead gorgeous spring weather weekend. Time will heal this as well as other wounds. I hope to plant something this weekend. I need to do something outside.
Willie and I have had several good talks and a few not so good. I doubt if he will ever do anything like this again - at least not in our home.
My Prius is back home - the damage was around $2300 - suspension and body. I still have the under-body work yet to do, but it can wait until I feel like being without my Prius again. I was thinking while we were on our next vacation in May. We're going to take the dogs with us and put Willie in a kennel. : ) The way gas prices are going - we may not be making the trip to Arkansas we had hoped. Diesel prices are quickly becoming a real budget breaker in the trip.
Sandra and Ryan had hoped to come down this past week and finish getting their stuff. But that didn't work out - trouble with the truck rental company. They weren't going to bring Lilly.
We really, really miss her. We wanted to be a part of her life, not people she visited occasionally. It seems like everywhere we have gone lately, we see grandparents out with their grandkids. We want that. We barely "feel" like grandparents anymore. It still feels like a sledge hammer to the chest. It hurts.
Also, Rand and I have discovered teenagers now bring out a result in us that can only be described as a panic attack. It started at the grocery store. Every teenager we see - we wonder if they were in our house or what they did to our home. We even have the problem in traffic. Stupid teenagers are everywhere. It doesn't help that our vandals are supposedly the top of today's youth. Almost every day the paper has a picture of someone we can verify as was in our house. Today, at least two were in photos in our Des Moines Register. We really think it would help us if someone just said, "Sorry". As it is - they have "bad attitudes" toward us because their parents are finding out. I don't think they" get" that we are the victims here. Some Beach.
As a result of the panic attacks I now have in stores - I have officially resigned my job with Target. I'm tired and I'm broken. And so sad. I loved it there. The stress of the last several weeks has my RSD out of control. It used to take a "trigger" (overdoing or an injury) to bring on attack. Now they seem to be random and more frequent. I really need the time to get back in water therapy. Need time to get the stresses in my life healed. Need time.
My neighbor, Angela, has added two infant (7 & 9 months) girls to her happy daycare. I'm going to help out and watch the babies while she runs the toddlers to preschoolers two mornings a week. Otherwise she has to take six kids under the age of five. She is more than capable - but it is much simpler to leave half of them at home with me. The babies already get happy to see me. They are neighbors to each other and both are very sweet happy girls.
I've started Willie in an official budget book. And I set him up a small file system. That way he can start to plan for the future and learn how to take care of himself. Pay bills and plan ahead. He has also officially started paying us back. He is working 6 days a week now. Target is sympathetic to Willie's plight (and he is a good worker) they are really swinging him a lot of extra hours.
Rand and I got my jeep fired up and washed for spring. We took the 5th wheel for its last official repair (new camper blues list - a window replacement). We timed it so the driveway would be clear when the kids were moving. Then they didn't move. So we used the space to spring clean all vehicles. My jeep only fired up the once. I need a new battery. Rand wanted to get me one today, but the jeep is blocked in the garage by the camper. No reason for the jeep to run if it can't get out. The camper is back in the driveway. Until we get brave enough to venture away from home.
The highlight of the week had to be - Rand and I finally learned how to play backgammon! We have been trying for a long time. As it turns out the game isn't that hard to play - but teaching us is! We think we have it now. I've been messing with a free downloaded game. It has fined tuned a few rules for me. And it cheats! I think it is using loaded dice.
Rand and I are now heavily stocked in reading glasses. They were on sale super cheap and I bought several pair for both of us. It was getting to the point we need to hold each others menus from across the table. Now we don't have to worry about what room (or home) we left them in.
My new favorite beer is Corona.
Prince Chuck and Ladydog Cammy had to delay their wedding by one day in respect for the Pope's funeral. There have to be a lot of manufacturers and sellers with merchandise already printed with the original date. Doh!
James Bentley, who sexually molested 10 yr old Jetseta Gage is trying to get evidence thrown out because the key witness, Jetseta, is gone. Jetseta was raped and killed by his brother, Roger Bentley, last month. There seems to be a big public outcry to make him face all his charges. Rand and I were discussing it. We say - set him free. Go ahead - turn him lose in society. Just make sure the public knows when and where. I have know doubt that justice will be served. Yep, just put him out here with the rest of us - I still have faith in my fellow man. And I think that man will destroy the beast.

Our 25th Wedding Anniversary

25 years later.....
We are still living happily-ever-after.
(Okay - the kids are causing us some serious stress, but our marriage is still awesome)
Today was our 25th wedding anniversary. We started our celebration day by sleeping in. I have had trouble sleeping for more than a month. For starters - I have had the skin crawling heebie-jeebies thinking about other people in my bed. I don't share well. Just ask my brothers. Last night was the best I have slept in a very long time. I even dreamed we went fishing - that was a nice change of pace. I have been having heart stopping, wake up breathless, sweaty, and crying nightmares for weeks. If I'm not fighting intruders, I'm searching desperately for a baby I cannot find.
Then we read the whole Sunday paper while drinking our coffee. It was during this leisurely Sunday morning a police officer came to collect the marijuana I found - while checking why a sandalwood candle wouldn't sit straight. Someone at the party hid their dope in my house.
After Will went to work, we did "something special". I will share more maybe next update.
After that we went to our KOA for a visit. Can't go two weeks without visiting our home away from home. Except we left our actual second home in the driveway. The weather was drop dead gorgeous this weekend - wish we could of been camping. I visited with Patricia while Rand helped Dave. We were among the first to see Ed's new Goldwing. A Goldwing used to be our "retirement plan" - back when we were newlyweds.
After our pleasant afternoon, we went out for supper at Granite City. A nice meal we didn't have to "dress" for. Left our usual "anniversary blessing" tip. Always on our anniversary, our server gets a tip in dollars equal to the number of years we have been married call it passing forward a blessing. We've been blessed with our years together, we want to honor our years and pass a blessing to someone else. We have been doing this for a couple of decades now.
The day was spent cruising around in a 4x4 Ford. Fitting. That's how we met, where we were when we fell in love, and it is what we drove off from our wedding in.

"They Stole Our Frickin' Flipper!"

That was Rand's reaction when I told him I couldn't find the remote to the new TV in our bedroom today. I chose this poster to represent all the special little "future" thieves, vandals, potheads, and prostitutes who have graced our home recently.

I have been pretty good about all of this. Trying to get most of the kids involved held responsible without sacrificing their futures. This morning - the little bastards really pissed me off. How long do I have to be the victim? I'm so sick and tired of finding things missing, broken, moved, sticky, stained,........I really sick of it. I found a new color of BB cleaning today. Bright yellow. The rest of the color list is fluorescent green, brass and aluminum. I was putting on my lipstick yesterday and the horrible thought hit me someone might have used it. Quite honestly - I feel that way about everything in my house. Example - Doing a lot of dishes before I'm using them. I keep hoping I'm pretty well done washing and rewashing seemingly clean things.
Note - Willie and a few of his friends did clean before we came home. Imagine how bad it must of been. We have things we want to dispose of, (big things) but can't until the police are done investigating.
Some of the kids cannot win - they will lose their futures - it's that bad. It's even worse than that bad and the law prevails. Thank God for justice - and the law had better get this right.

I discovered the remote missing at 6:30 am this morning. I wanted to get news on early - honestly worried about how the pope did over the night. I have been cleaning so much this week I have my RSD flared up good. I figured I would spend this morning in rest mode, watch the news, read the paper, etc.
That remote is always one of two places. Rand's nightstand or mine. Most of the time it just sits on one or the other. When we go away for a few days, I always put the remote in the drawer of Rand's nightstand. I like knowing where things are. This morning after searching our bedroom - I got so upset - I started cleaning again. I'm nauseous and have a headache from the bleach fumes tonight. (And I like the smell of bleach.) And I'm in a lot of pain. But the house looks great.
The TV was our Christmas present to ourselves. Granted a universal remote will be a cheap replacement, but it isn't the same. The universal is never as good as the original. The original is a custom match to the appliance. With the original you don't have to re-code every time you change batteries.
Rob told me the remotes are the first thing you hide when you're having a party - they walk away fast. I reminded him I didn't know I was having a party.
We should consider ourselves lucky. There were three other remotes in our bedroom - they only took the newest one. There are four remotes in the family room downstairs - we still own all of them. This remote was separated from all the others. We kept in a handier spot since we use it the most. I guess that makes it "our bad".

still without my Prius
I should be able to pick it up early next week. Then I can take it to a body shop. The damage to the suspension was almost $1200. The estimate on the body is almost $1000. Toyota doesn't do body work. That will have to be done somewhere else. Willie will never be allowed to drive it again ever. State Farm has been just awesome about it. They inspected the damage, approved the work, and cut the check on the same day. (Now I'm just waiting on the USPS) State Farm even offered me a rental. I refused - why have a rental when I can just take Willie's car? A rental would make it easier on Willie - and I'm willing to sacrifice so he can suffer. Willie will pay the deductible. And all the other losses and damages. And do extra chores.

the meeting
I had a meeting yesterday morning at the school. With Vice Principal Cook, Officer Ray, and Coach Zanders (boys' basketball coach) It was really interesting and informative on all sides. Parents are slowly but surely learning about spring break and kids are confessing before even being accused. According to Mrs. Cook, this is the biggest thing that has ever happened to Hoover. Without doubt, the kids have had their parties before, but no one has ever held them responsible for their actions before. And this is probably the longest lasting party in Hoover history. It turns out - it lasted the whole week!
I have also talked to the vice principal of North.
And the school nurse at Saydel - there are times it pays to be a passive aggressive. More time to think creatively.

the week
I started two lists for Willie. One said "Invited", the other "Crashed". I told him I wanted to know what names went on what list. He said didn't understand what I wanted. I told him - "Some kids you invited, some crashed in". "Do you mean crashed here for the whole week?"
I was flashbacking bad to home schooling with Willie.
It started with a simple night of a few friends, DVD's, snacks, and Kool-Aid. Just Kool-aid. Word quickly got out that we were an open crib. I questioned, "We were a what?" We were a safe house to party - no parents. The party grew fast.
Randy had a dentist appt. that Monday (the 23rd) and had even stopped home for a minute before returning to camp. Seems kids were hiding all over the place then!

Rand to his friend Horton at work today - "We found out March 23rd was a holiday".
Horton - "What holiday was that?"
Rand - "Blow Job Day".
Horton replied flatly - "Huh. We didn't celebrate that at our house."
Rand's friends at work keep asking if the party is at our house again this weekend and if it's a BYOB.

Willie had left the house to go to work, to the mall with friends, out cruising, and always left people here. We are up to fifty kids or more on the list.
There has been a report of one kid with divorced parents - told each parent he was spending the week with the other parent. He was here the whole week.
Of course, you have your kids who are denying everything, but it is not flying. Too many witnesses. And there were some who were just here for the visit and not up to anything - but there is still guilt by association. The Hoover boys basketball team was by far the worse behaved. By contrast the Hoover basketball girls team only crime was breaking my rule of No Parents - No Friends. And of course guilt by association. They need to pick nicer friends.
The kid who helped Willie by vacuuming - was a player in the week long, inside my house, BB wars. We are up one BB gun. Willie knows who it belongs to and asked if he could take it to his friend. We said NO. He has to come ask us for it.
While Willie was "borrowing" my car, he had no idea where his car was. He handed over his keys to friends - he didn't need his car while he had mine. BTW - my car was wrecked a few days earlier than previously reported. Closer to home than reported and under slightly different circumstances than was first reported. Shocking, eh?

homebound
We are not going camping this weekend. Too soon to leave our house alone
So not fair. We're grounded too.