I'm thinking - I might live
Lots of new drugs and plenty of nothing but sleep, I'm feeling almost human again. I even have some use of my left fingers today.
Rand seems to be getting my bug now.
I even did a minor bit of cooking and cleaning today. I made a big pot of chowder (ham and vegetables) for supper and put away my meager display of Christmas decorations.
My chowder was made out of a left over bone-in ham. I let the pets share in some fat and bones. Kizzie has been throwing it up for hours now. She is obviously getting too old for scraps. And she is a really good diet aid. I'm not even in the mood for ham chowder now.
I now have my new bifocal glasses. Rand's haven't arrived yet. A little strange, his appointment was two days before mine.
I keep trying to look over the top of my new glasses to watch TV and look at other things far away. I've worn reading glasses for too long.
Rand and I will both spend tomorrow night and New Year's Eve working. We both work the closing shift and then, the opening shift on Sunday morning. We'll be lucky if we even see each other at midnight.
Not only does Rob have a new girl, Dana; Willie is now sporting a new girlfriend, Erica. I have met Erica. She was with Willie when he had to free me from the garage the other night (great first meeting) and she had supper with us last night.
My doc is making a change in my permanent daily med line up. One goes away and a new one joins the line up. Supposed to help my pain and possibly, sleeping better. In an interesting note the sleeping thing could back fire. It causes drowsiness or insomnia. I won't know which way it effects me until I take it. Could be a fun night.
Great. Meowers just threw up.

The garage door wins
......The second round.
Some of my loyal readers may remember my post of December 10. This is where Rand actually comes by my work to see if I had damaged my Jeep. The damaged garage door had scared him. My Jeep was fine, it was just between the garage door and me.
Tonight, the garage door got even.
Arriving home tonight it wasn't going down without a bit of struggle. So I reached between panels to better pull with leverage. It suddenly came down too quickly and my hand was caught. I couldn't get the door back up with my remaining hand either. My fingers were caught tight with no getting loose in sight. Luckily, Willie arrived home and the endless screaming got his attention immediately. He got the door up and I got my mangled fingers back.
After half an hour of icing and the pain refusing to let up, I decided to get it x-rayed. Nothing is broke, just very bruised, and it seems, I do have a sinus infection, so it wasn't a totally wasted trip.
I'm to let the hand rest for a couple of days.
It is my left hand and I am left handed. This isn't fun so far.
Once again, I was refused anything for pain - story of my life. He said my "current meds" should take care of it. My "current meds" don't take care of me on an average day. My arthritis has flared up beautifully with this increased hand pain.
Yes, it is a whiskey night.
What I would give to feel like a normal person.

I had spent the afternoon visiting the folks. My SIL were both there and we were having a great visit. Oh yeah, my brother Don was there too. :)
Niece Mary Teresa (6) lost a tooth last night and the tooth fairy did find her way to Grandma's house.
I also learned that Mary tells a story about as well as Willie. When I asked Mary how she lost her tooth, both her folks groaned. Twenty minutes later, I was still waiting to hear the part about how exactly the tooth came out.
Never did find out.
The musical instrument of the day was a trombone.

The Bear Who Slept Through Christmas
Familiar title?
It is a sweet children's book as well as a Christmas cartoon circa 1973.
It is also how I spent my Christmas.
I worked until 1:00 am and had to leave. We must have a minimum of eight hours between shifts. I was down to my eight hours. I came home at to find Rand still awake (Rand actually got Christmas eve off!) and visiting with Rob in the kitchen. Yeah! Robby's home!
We went to bed shortly thereafter. A few hours later I am awakened to a cold a cruel world by the alarm.
The world of retail is not pretty on Christmas Eve. These are not festive holiday shoppers. These are desperate, frustrated, procrastinators who think they deserve the same as everyone else without working as hard. The current answer of the day is "we are sold out of that". This seems to set off a frenzy of sorts. I imagined they were hyenas who wait for the lions to feast. They want what they think is theirs, but you won't catch them working to take down a gazelle to get it. We literally had to chase the last few scavengers out of the store after close.
We have families and we want to go home!
After arriving home, we popped down to friends and neighbors, Tim, Angela, and Gabby; to start our Christmas cheer. Willie was already there. It was a very pleasant evening. Fun to share Santa stories with Gabby and see the excitement in her eyes! We went home opened our gifts, and were all in bed fairly early. Between Rob's finals and the rest of us working Christmas retail - we were pooped. We all slept in, got up to discover a few gifts we had missed.
After celebrating them, I went back to bed.
Rand woke me up about noon or so and said it was time to head to my folks' house. Brother Don, Mo, and family's arrival was expected soon.
I awoke from my hibernation long enough to get dressed, slept a good part of the drive and took a long nap after we got there. Eventually Don and clan arrived. We ate way too much good food and we had a great deal of fun. I got to impress Mary Teresa with my hair styling skills. Dave showed off his talent for making balloon animals, hats, and swords. Sam even did a bit of nice music making on Grandma's antique accordion.
Rand and I left the party first. We both had to get up for work in the morning. Exhaustion and sadness ruled me on the way home. Mary Teresa reminds me a lot of her cousin Sandra at that age. The little princess who changes outfits, wants her hair pretty even down to the ever present tiara.
This was the first Christmas our little family wasn't whole. And it should've been more special than ever.
We still haven't heard from Sandra and Ryan. We have no idea what state they are in or when to expect them home again. We know nothing about Lilly's first Christmas.
Back again, I went to face the after Christmas crowd. What a long and non-stop busy day! Does anyone keep the gifts they received? Do you realize just about everything you buy after Christmas has a past? It's probably been with someone else.
More people should give and get gift cards, but we do get our share of complaints about them as well!
"What if I don't like to shop in your store?"
Tell your friends and relatives, complaining to us won't fix that.
In years past, I have seen people react to receiving a Target gift card just as disgustedly as if they had been told they had been given the gift of head lice.
I have a few days off now. Hopefully, I can catch up on some rest. My cold/virus is still clinging on and wearing on me pretty good. Body aches, sore throat, nagging cough and congestion.
My house needs to be cleaned a bit.
First is hopefully to go visit my nephews and niece one more time before they head back to KC.
Rob headed for home last night. And I was surprised to see him back this evening. He had left quite a few things behind. Rob remembered his clean laundry, but not much else.

Night, night, Lilly, love you. And Merry Christmas sweetie. We miss you so much.

2 shifts left until Christmas
I clocked in at 4:00 pm yesterday; I clocked out after 4:00 am this morning. We still weren't done, I had just crashed into the proverbial wall. Started losing my legs real fast. I go back in twelve hours to close again.
My cold still sucks. I've been living on water and cough drops. Tonight, I added sugar and caffeine.
The hardest part of hours like this, besides the obvious physical, is I get my drug routine all messed up. It is morning now, but if I take my morning pills, I won't sleep as well today. I took my evening pills about 10:00 pm last night. I need more of something. The pain is unreal! I've had a hot shower and my feet are currently lathered in icy hot, topped by warm socks. The swelling has started. Hopefully, I'll get it under control by the time I have to put shoes on again.
The store is busier than anyone could have predicted and we were very short staffed tonight.
They offered at 2:00 am to let anyone who wanted to - go home, but I'm a team player until the end. -or- When the legs go, I go.
Willie's and Rand's hours are going about the same. We are just ghosts who pass each other on occasion.
Basically we are getting very trashed and cannot even begin to keep up with guest requests and calls, let alone try to keep areas properly zoned.
A belated (on the 17th) Happy Birthday to my Dearest friend Bec. I did think of you often with a smile on your birthday!
Bec is a few months older than I, so that has her pushing 30 ;) now.
If only we could turn back the clocks twenty five years. That was a birthday celebration! But to relive that, I will need the body and the energy that went with it!
Those were the days!
time for bed..........

merry Christmas, anyway

We both worked yesterday. Rand in the morning, I at night. (I was off - I got called in)
Today, we spent the whole day together. A play date. Mostly in Urbandale.
We started off taking Rand's truck in to be repaired. It was acting up again. Hopefully, it will be ready tomorrow. $$$$$
We stopped into Target and got Starbucks to fuel our morning. I, of course, was wearing mine down the front of my shirt before very long. Rand loves to point out that I, an adult, can spill every time with the sippy cup.
The better to see you with my dear
To top off our financial "holiday blessing" (yes, I'm being sarcastic) there, we both have eye appointments this week. $$$$$ Rand had one today. Mine is Wednesday, but I went ahead and picked out frames while I had him there to "help". Mostly his help is: when I put on really stylin, shiney, jeweled, colorful frames and he looks at me like I'm crazy, and: says "no". I actually like the frames Rand picked for his, but he refused to let me match him in eye wear.
We know, that I am making the move into permanent bifocals - even before my appointment. The surprise today - Randy is moving straight into bifocals as well!
This is truly one of those middle aged things. We have been trying to make do with reading glasses, but we're getting very frustrated. Randy would rather bitch about not seeing well rather than try to find his reading glasses. I'm up to four pair of reading glasses. The gold pair I need for the computer, the pewter pair I need for work on the sales floor, the red ones that work best for my manicures and clipping Lilly's nails, while the black one work best when I'm at the phones or reading. When I don't need them I slide them up on top of my head. Then my hair gets caught and wrapped up in them. Time to quit playing, pretending and complaining and just do what need to be done.
So for our 26th Christmas together - we are each going to find out what each other really looks like! The true gift of self? Maybe we should dim the lights a bit.
again
For a late lunch we decide to stop at Pizza Hut. Where I managed to, almost right!, away roll a buffalo wing covered in Ranch sauce down the front of my already coffee stained shirt.
We pretty well finished our little bit of Christmas shopping
And
I actually fell for this very pathetic real pine tree pictured below. It is potted in soil. If it lives - I can plant it outside this spring. It is seriously dried out and has been suffering a long time. We'll see if I can nurse it back to health. It needed me. Christmas may proceed now.
We even put out the Christmas stockings and wrapped presents.
Camper was as much fun for all of this as we could have hoped. She was knocking the decorations off the tree as fast as I could put them on. It is probably my worse decorated tree ever, but currently everything is mostly on, and not off. I would be taping one end of a present and Camper was crawling inside the other end.
Christmas Eve will find us in front of a roaring fire with good snacks, (with special thanks to Kara and Thune for the surprise delivery!), classic movies, good drinks, and a board game or two. No matter what we don't have - we do have each other and all is right in the world.
My sad little tree.

Anonymous said...

I think it's totally selfish of you not to put up a tree or anything. You do have other kids you know. It isn't all about Lilly. What about them and your husband.

8:31 AM

My other "kids" are all grown-ups.
If they want a tree they can have one. Mostly males and could care less about a tree.
IF Sandra wanted a tree, she is better physically abled to put one up than I am (I'm a cripple you know) and has more time since she is not working. We own 4 artificial trees and more decorations than will fit on them.
I'm tired, I'm in pain. I started decorating for Christmas when I was 10. My brothers and I used to do it to surprise my folks. it was more fun for us and saved them the work.
And, yes Virginia (anonymous), Christmas does tend to center on the children.
Lilly was the fresh awe and wonder that was going to put the magic back into our Christmas.
I'm not the only one who is missing her deeply. Her Gramps, uncles Rob and Willie, great grandparents, and other extended family, like Don and family, who has never got to meet her, but will be here in Iowa for Christmas. Rob had planned on using his Christmas break for quality Lilly time. What I'm stating here isn't my own selfish wallowings. It is the voice of a family who deeply loves that baby too.
A child's first Christmas is special. We aren't given any chance to share it with Lilly in any way. They left last Friday and won't be home until "sometime after Christmas". You can't plan anything with an itinerary like that.
I also have two cats and two dogs. With Camper alone, tree is just going to get the shit beat out of it. Putting a tree up for just a short time would make more sense, but we don't know when to expect any time with Lilly.
And I'm guessing you don't know about grandchildren - because if you did, you would know - it is all about Lilly.
In my younger adult days, Christmas days were stressed. Two Christmas were mourned with the loss of babies. Hard to celebrate His birth when your mourning the death of your baby. My bone tumor was diagnosed just days before Christmas. That financial devastation alone stopped any future adoptions of children.
My children have memories of Christmas that were magical. I gave it all to make sure their memories would be happy ones.
When Jeff and Tina lost Anna Marie, also just before Christmas, the entire family through multiple generations was devastated.
Lilly is the baby we could truly celebrate again.
And we weren't even given a chance.

I'm almost conscious
Just finished working an almost twelve hour shift. We are beat. We clocked out around 3 am. Our sales rivaled that of the day after Thanksgiving. Willie, kind son, has greeted me with a nice meal of PopEye's Chicken with red beans and rice. That's real good eating!I supplied the crown and coke and a nice assortment of pain and sleeping pills.
Highlight of my day was extremely rude people.
Then there were the screaming teens running around in their underwear back and forth between dressing rooms.
The rude security guy who wouldn't help me when I first arrived. 'Wouldn't help' is an understatement.
The screaming guests on the Phone who were convinced you had a personal vendetta against them. Yes, I'm hoarding the lace camisoles and you can't prove it - "insert evil laugh here" And we are having a contest . The winner for hoarding lost mittens - gets a new pair. I hear from guest - "they didn't give me all my sacks. I hear from cashiers, "People keep leaving and not taking their sacks". Everybody ready to blame someone else. No one brave enough to simply announce - "Yeah. I screwed up."
Through all of this all I can think about is no Lilly until after Christmas. What a heartbreaker.
I'm going to crawl in bed and not crawl out tomorrow,

HOW THE RYAN GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS adapted by thisbearbites (a Who) Every Who Down in Who-ville (also known as Des Moines) Liked Christmas a lot... But the Grinch they called Ryan, Who lived just North of Who-ville, in Fort Dodge) Did NOT! The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were to tight. But I think that the most likely reason of all May have been that his heart was two sizes too small. But, Whatever the reason, His heart or his shoes, He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos, Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown At the warm lighted windows below in their town. For he knew every Who down in Who-ville beneath Was busy now, hanging a mistleoe wreath. "And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer. "Next week is Christmas! It's practically here!" Then he growled, with his grinch fingers nervously drumming, "I MUST find a way to keep Christmas from coming!" For, next week, he knew... ...All the Who girls and boys Would wake up bright and early. They'd rush for their toys! And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise! That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! Then the Whos, young and old, would sit down to a feast. And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! They would start on Who-pudding, and rare Who-roast-beast Which was something the Grinch couldn't stand in the least! And THEN They'd do something he liked least of all! Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small, Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing. They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing! They'd sing! And they'd sing! AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING! And the more the Grinch thought of the Who-Christmas-Sing The more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this whole thing! "Why for two years I've put up with it now! I MUST stop Christmas from coming! ...But HOW?" Then he got an idea! An awful idea! THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA! "I know just what to do!" The Grinch Laughed in his throat. And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat. And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy trick! "With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick!" "All I need is a reindeer..." The Grinch looked around. But since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found. Did that stop the old Grinch...? No! The Grinch simply said, "If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!" So he called his girl Sandra. Then he took some red thread And he tied a big horn on top of her head. THEN He loaded some bags And some old empty sacks On a ramshakle sleigh And he hitched up old Sandra. Then the Grinch said, "Giddyap!" And the sleigh started down Toward the homes where the Whos Lay a-snooze in their town. All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air. All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care When he came to the family house in the square. "This is the stop," The old Grinchy Claus hissed And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist. Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch. But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch. He got stuck only once, for a moment or two. Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue Where the little Who stockings all hung in a row. "These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!" Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant, Around the whole room, and he took every present! Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums! Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums! And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly, Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney! Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos' feast! He took the Who-pudding! He took the roast beast! He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash. Why, that Grinch even took their last can of Who-hash! Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee. "And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I will stuff up the kid!" And the Grinch grabbed Miss Lilly , and he started to shove When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove. He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who! Little Gramma-Bear Who, who was way more than two. The Grinch had been caught by this little old Who gramma Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water. She stared at the Grinch and said, "Santy Claus, why, "Why are you taking our Lilly Mae? WHY?" But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick! "Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus lied, "is just going to visit more family. "So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear. "I'll play with her up there. Then I'll bring her back here." And his fib fooled the old who bear. Then he patted her head And he got her a drink and he sent he to bed. And when Gramma Bear Who went to bed with her cup, HE went to the chimney and stuffed the kid up! Then the last thing he took Was the log for their fire. Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar. On their walls he left nothing but hooks, and some wire. And the one speck of food The he left in the house Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse. It was quarter past dawn... All the Whos, still a-bed All the Whos, still a-snooze When he packed up his sled, Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings! The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings! Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mount Crumpit, He rode to the tiptop to dump it! "Pooh-pooh to the Whos!" he was grinch-ish-ly humming. "They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming! "They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do! "Their mouths will hang open a minute or two "The all the Whos down in Who-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!" "That's a noise," grinned the Grinch, "That I simply must hear!" So he paused. And the Grinch put a hand to his ear. And he did hear a sound rising over the snow. It started in low. Then it started to grow... But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound wasnt merry! Could it be so! But it WAS loud! VERY! He stared down at Who-ville! The Grinch popped his eyes! Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise! Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small, Was sad singing! Without any Lilly at all! He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME! Somehow or other, it came just the same! And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow, Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so? It came without ribbons! It came without tags! "It came without packages, boxes or bags!" "It even came without Lilly, the center of their joy!" And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! "Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store. "Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!" And what happened then...? Well...in Who-ville they say That the Grinch's small heart Grew three sizes that day! And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight, He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast! And he... ...HE HIMSELF...! The Grinch handed Sweet Lilly to Who Gramma, and then the Grinch carved the roast beast!

Not only do we not get to spend Christmas with Lilly; they left today and may not be back home until after Christmas. They kept that information hid from us until they were walking out the door this afternoon.

We will not put up a tree, stockings, or any other decorations of celebrations. I will wrap Lilly's presents only. God only know when we can give them to her.
All we wanted for Christmas was to share in the joy of Lilly's first Christmas.

I don't see this adapted story really having the happy ending where the Grinches has a miraculous change of heart and brings our Christmas joy back.
Nothing else can replace having Lilly here with us. We have missed so much of her first year- and our punishment continues.

We are treated as second class around here - we don't count.
I, after only two hours of sleep, drove Sandra and Lilly to this appointment with a new doctor across town.
We waited in the lobby and eventually Lilly's name was called. Sandra informed me that only she and Lilly would go back to the room to meet the doctor. I was to stay out and mind the coats.
I felt used.
I wasn't asked to be there as a Gramma.
They just needed a driver. I wasn't important. Just free.

I feel for Lilly too. Having to sleep in a different house and a different bed every few days. Being used as a pawn in this vicious game of keep away.
Her parents are jealous of the love and attention she recieves. Rather than reveleing in the miracle of that is this beautiful daughter they were given as a great gift. They continue to remain unprepared. They are jealous of her and angered by the shift of attention from them to her.
Lilly's needs do not count. Nor do other people she also loves. Lilly is given no stability and no promise that the people she loves will always be there. As soon as she is nestled in at home again, it is time to run again. New faces, new bed, new rules. Not too mny adults would surbive this life style well.
There is truley no reason to act like gypsies and run when there is a home missing you.

---

Greg's CHRISTMAS Pages
Copyright © Greg Brother 2000-2001. All rights reserved.
http://www.kraftmstr.com/christmas/index.html

Pardon me - I think your age is showing
That's how I feel anyway....
Tuesday we didn't get out of the building until after 1:30 am. We were all pretty exhausted.
I only worked a few hours on Wednesday. Foolishly, I way over- did on organizing clearance racks. This involved a lot of walking and lifting. But they look great!
I pulled an all nighter last night because of the pain.
Today, by 2:00 pm, the swelling had gone down in my feet to where my toes could almost touch the floor again. My hands were just as swollen. I had my boots back on and was back at work a few hours later. I was a bit more gentle on myself tonight and the team got out a bit after midnight.
I'm still paying with pain.
I have tomorrow off.
In five hours, I get to take Sandra and Lilly to a routine Lilly doctor appointment. I'm still waiting for my pills to kick in.
I close Saturday, and then have a couple of days off again.
I do get to close Christmas Eve, work the daylight hours the day after Christmas, and close New Years Eve.

Lilly bits
The other day, she was using a measuring spoon (from her kitchen drawer) to eat dog food.
Lilly is learning to whisper.
Gramma's shoes are now a great source of amusing play. I'm finding them carried off a lot now.
Throwing things (like Gramma's shoes) down the basement stairs is also great fun. Just getting them through, under, or over the baby gate can be tough.
Lilly has found she can now reach and sort through my purse. Time to find a new location. She's hell on pocket size Kleenex.
Today, Lilly grabbed a sentimental knick knack off a shelf in my bedroom and threw it to the floor. This is a fairly tough little piece and Lilly breaking it would be almost impossible. But, I did say, "Treat Gramma's things nice". Lilly bent over, picked it up, put it back on the shelf, and gave me a smile. Then, she grabbed it and threw it again.
I'd like to think we're getting there.

Friendly Neighborhood Business Plug
Silzer Automotive Repair
3025 Douglas Ave.
277 - 7623
A very decent auto mechanic, lives in the neighborhood, and can be trusted.
Willie's drive shaft went out. Third vehicle this has happened to, just for Willie, in less than one year's time. I have recommended to Willie, that he come to a complete stop before shifting his gear shift. We had his vehicle towed to Silzer's very late evening and they had it fixed by early next afternoon. And no price gouging. It has been awhile since I have felt that way after paying a mechanic. Pay day is tomorrow, Willie will pay me back!

I don't want to jinx it, but Rand has a couple of personal days left to use. We are hoping to have an all day play date Monday. These days are also use them or lose them, but Pepsi is a bitch about letting him have time off. He is up to four weeks a year vacation, but can't take two in a row.

Photo Friday - Depth of Fieldfirst 2005 snowflakes - on sweater

a Lilly picture buffet
Remember to click on any photo to enlarge!

Lilly got up here all by her self.
We got Sandra this bench when she was a toddler.











This was in another more appropriate room.
Somebody decided to move it for further investigation.









This is a basket from her book shelf that holds toys.
Yes, Lilly is in the basket.














The box still has plenty of daily fun and surprises each and every day!











Helping Gramma get her boots on for work.
Gramma needs all the help she can get.











"Hi!"
Yes, she is now using my shoe horn for a telephone.
For the record, Raggedy Ann makes a decent phone as well.

And finally,

Lilly's "official" Christmas 2005 photo

I may be prejudiced -
But, she is cute!

It's sort of a post
So I'm running with it

Rob emailed me with this news over the weekend. I've waiting for him to post on it. He sort of did on Flicker; the same place I offered to let him post first.
Rob and old friend Dana are officially a couple.
They are going to celebrate this new change in their relationship in different states while on separate vacations for the holidays. AWE! It's like they're married already!
For those who are curious, my link for "Mrs. Rob" will change when Rob is done and picks one for good. If he doesn't make up his mind, at least one of us has.
For parents, kids dating, can be rough. You finally decide to like somebody. They have passed all the tests and the joy of getting to know me. (There are really tests and it is a joy! So smile!) Then (so far) there is a break up. Mind you, WE didn't break up with anyone, but we are expected to act as if we did. And we never get to see them again.
Here's a toast to forever!

Still playing

Yep, Lilly still loves her box.

She did get to go for a ride in her new car seat today. She was quite content.
Sandra and I reached a bit of a house cleaning truce today. She has complained when I do ask - I don't ask nice. I'm too pushy and demanding. Duh?! Anyone who knows me well.....
I told her I was way past being able to ask nicely - So just do it anyway. And she did do quite a bit of cleaning today.
Lilly started out today in one of her fancy baby outfits. Sandra loves to dress her up. I think it is a bit unnecessary for most days. Lilly rewarded her mom's efforts today by having a poop tsunami that wiped out her entire outfit. After that, Sandra dressed her in the simple outfit you see above.
I am partial to bibs overalls on babies. They make nice carrying handles.
Lilly did some very successful standing alone with no hands on anything today. She was motivated by Camper trying to bite her fingers. Lilly was trying to grab Camper's tail while Camper Kiki was dozing on a chair.

It's still a Willie thing.
Willie's Toyota broke down. The thing that turns the wheel when you tell it to go - broke. Same thing happened to his VW. And my Prius as a direct result of Willie's driving. Starting to look like more than a coincidence. We have suggested he make darn sure his vehicle is at a complete stop before shifting to park. Willie was also late to work. He said a friend was going to take him to work. I assumed he had left - Until work called to see where he was. Wee Willie was fast asleep.
I worked a short midday shift today.
Work did call yesterday to see if I would come in. I decided not to return the call. Lilly and I had a wonderful day playing together. And sometimes that's most important thing of all. Time together. I bet I can pick up some extra hours yet this week.

Tomorrow: I have a routine dentist appointment, need to go to the post office for stamps for the Christmas cards which are DONE but not mailed due to a lack of stamps, and I need to do some shopping before I officially go in to work. One need is dog food. They are on their last bowl full. I have to close so I need to go shopping earlier than that.
Somewhere in there I will need a nap before work.
I have a vicious sore throat today. My glands are swollen. My body always hurts, so that's a given. I'm one of those special people that have to take large doses of antibiotics before dental appointments. Maybe, I can nip this in the bud.

I just ordered Lilly's 1st birthday present. I did it online, of course. Target doesn't carry this and I despise shopping anywhere else. I debated waiting until closer to her birthday, but Rand and I knew exactly what we wanted to get her. This is the best time of year to find anything and get it in stock! Only 29 shopping days left until Lilly's birthday!

Ba Humbug
Rand and I finally did a bit of the Christmas thing this afternoon. We took Lilly out and introduced her to Santa. The line wasn't to bad, compared to the crowd at Merle Hay Mall.
We did a little Christmas shopping at Target.
Lilly was very well behaved. She is always a little noisy. Her natural outgoing personality had her yelling "HI!" at everyone. She was delighted with the mall decorations, smiled with Santa, and delighted several passing strangers with her smile.
Mall Christmas pictures at best are a farce. The young lady taking the photos was either engaged in conversation with the other "elf" and missed the kid's shining moment, or shaking bells to try and get their attention while racked with a hacking cough. Sweet. I was standing next to the photographer and couldn't hear the bells for the noise in the mall.
Santa is sitting on a green velvet settee in front a huge beautifully decorated tree and scenery. Why have all that in the photo when you can add the fake cartoon winter border?!
It's a really fake Santa with a fake border, a elf hacking up a lung took the photo, and Lilly is still adorable!

I can remember during the holidays last year, we were making fun of the parents in the toy aisles. And here we are, back again.
We also make fun of the Back to School crowd! No empty nest syndrome here!
The toy aisles wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the crying, misbehaving kids.
I like kids. I love well mannered children.
One dad kept apologizing for his screaming toddler; "He's pretty tired".
So quit abusing him with the outing and take him home!

We had hoped to buy a new forward facing car seat for Lilly for Christmas while out. After deciding on a model months ago, and watching - today, our Target was sold out. We did get her a Cabbage Patch Baby.
It was close to Lilly's supper time, so like loving caretakers of a small person, we took her home. We left her in the care of her mother and went to the Urbandale Target. There we did find the elusive carseat. (and a few groceries)
We didn't wrap the carseat as Lilly can begin using it immediately.
She has almost topped the weight for her old one. Time for the big girl seat!
Of course, she spent the rest of the evening playing in the box.
I am still not in the mood to put our tree up. Lilly won't be here Christmas morning and Rand's next day off is Christmas. I don't know how we are to pull off a Christmas here with everyone's varying work/sleep schedules. The next time Rand and I have even a chance of an evening together will be the 19th.

The doctors put Lilly on Elidel for her eczema and I am pleased to report she is doing much better.

The weather has eased up on the vicious cold spell. Today, it actually hit the 30's. I saw people in shorts at the mall! Yeah, they were pushing it a bit. I went out in a heavy sweater and no gloves! We do have several inches of snow. I would like to take snow pictures, but I hate being out in it.

This year in my family were are doing a white elephant exchange, instead of buying gifts. We all have stuff in our homes that we really don't want there anymore. But yet we don't want it to go away or it would be gone. I figure we could exchange our "things" this year. The ultimate in re-gifting!
At this point I need to let one of my brothers know, this does not mean the Disco Studio can re-enter my home!
The Disco Studio was the ultimate in 1979 sound systems. It has AM,FM, 8-track, and a phonograph, with revolving lights and big honking speakers. All set up like a full sized juke box. Rand and I bought it new (we were very young!) Instead of a formal dining room we had a game room which included a pool table and the Disco Studio.
Eventually we outgrew it, and it was perfect for Don and his college days. Eventually Don outgrew it. One day after a visit to the state of Misery, Dad was backing his truck up to my door. It seems Don had told him I really wanted the stereo back. Dad dutifully delivered it. During our last move, like a loving brother, Don came to help. The disco Studio ended up hid, under a tarp, in the back of his truck.
And yet, it still found it's way to our home here.
It is the ultimate gift that keeps on giving. Don and I obviously both have the same affection for it. Neither one of us can get rid of it, but neither of us want to decorate around it. We haven't shared this tradition with our siblings for the secret fear, someone else might actuallly get rid of it!
It does reside once again in KC, where it graces Don's new game room.
I hope it stays there.
Great Uncle Paul has passed away today. The last of a great generation of brothers.

Please make rice, I love you!
I found this website awhile back and truly enjoying reading it and Lauren takes great pictures! Her title comes from a loving note from a husband to his wife. I have been left that note before. It is a small world.
And a loving world.
I worked later than planned tonight. We were short staffed and very busy.
When I finally arrived home my note on the table said:
Your chimichangas are in the oven. Your Crown and Coke is in the fridge. Love you! Randus
Isn't he the sweetest husband?!
Rand visited me at work for a short. He was concerned about the jeep when he saw what had happened to the garage door.
The jeep was fine. It was between me and the garage door.
I was fine. The garage door - it didn't look so good.
You can willingly open or I will force you to open. Rand thought I had hit it with the jeep.

Hey Rob, I found you a girl!
I met her at work tonight, (she was shopping). She is also a grad student taking classes at ISU. She is cute, single, and I told her to find you!
Now that I have Rob cussing just a bit....

To answer Kara's questions
Things aren't real bad here, but not real wonderful either.
Sandra and Ryan plan on going to Minnesota to visit his aunt for Christmas. The Christmas spirit for the rest of us, has been destroyed. We have been denied so much Lilly time this year. It's just more salt in the wounds.
Sandra was lying to us about applying for jobs. She wasn't. She did get one, and then promptly screwed it for good before she even started. Now that's a talent. When Ashley finally told me the truth, Sandra completely quit speaking to her.
Ashley previously supported me in an argument Sandra and I had over housework. I think she should help out - Sandra feels differently. (Ashley saw nothing impractical with my demands) Sandra either uses the "I'm not your slave" speech; or; "I could never clean as well as you do, so why bother if I can't do it right?" speech.
Sandra and Lilly took off for Fort Dodge after the last big tiff. She called Ryan and Ryan came and "rescued" her. "Fort Dodge" replied with "no more of this" and sent them home again after a couple of weeks. She is running out of places to run.
Sandra is being a great mom to Lilly. I am enjoying the Gramma role. We were a little lopsided again in the beginning. But, I had missed Lilly so much, and I love to care for her! I'm learning to delegate, especially now that the pain is winning again.
things I point out to Sandra -
Single moms, don't get to be stay at home moms.
And we are not willing to finance that for her.
Stay at home moms just don't get to play all the time. There is that whole cooking and cleaning detail. There is a lot children learn by example and there is more to learn than running the DVD player.
Lilly is a lot less work than Sandra and a lot less demanding. Sandra makes bigger messes.
My house has never been dirtier. As an clean freak, this stresses me out more than most can understand. Stress = more pain.
I only have so many spoons. And I'm working again. I'm exhausted and I hurt bad.
But, hey, our bills were beginning to pile up. I gave her every opportunity to get a job first and then I would work around her hours, so we could provide Lilly with non-stop care.
Our cell phone bill went up by 80% last month. I try to play keep away from Sandra these days. Right now, I don't know where my phone is. I guess I'm losing. I put passwords back on the computers. If she can't clean house, she can't use the fringe benefits.
Our water bill has more than doubled.
Willie helps with inside and outside chores, and buys some groceries. When Sandra gets her monthly "food stamps", she uses it primarily to buy junk food for herself.
Sandra would benefit from even a part time job just on a self esteem level. Not to mention a monetary level. She has her bartending and/or nursing she could be using for a job, and refuses to use either. We pay for all the laundry supplies, heat, electrical, housing, etc.
I refuse to buy her basic toiletries. She is 22 and should be able to provide for herself these very basics. She is hurting for stuff, but I'm sure she's getting it from somewhere.
We are paying for all the kitty food and kitty litter, and we are the only ones pooper scooping the litter boxes. Even though she brought a cat home again as well.
We have purchased the diapers and wipes for awhile. As we have most of Lilly's wardrobe. And Lilly's portraits. I think childhood memories are very important.
I don't know how Sandra is getting her cigarettes. One of these days I'm going to puke just from the smell that follows her inside. Not to mention how sad it makes me. She was told by her doctors two years ago, if she smokes, her cancer will return. Not if, it will.
As a mother, you want to protect your children, even sacrificing your own life if need be. What do you do when you can't? As a mother, why doesn't she want to live for Lilly's sake? She had better let Lilly and I remain close. When Lilly's mom dies, Lilly is going to need me forever.
Sandra can have a home here as long as need be. (Lilly can live here forever). But this is a working, sharing, family unit; not a hotel. Don't bite the hand that feeds you.
P.S. This "slave" has quit.
And I want my quality Lilly and Gramma play time back.
I promised that to my Gramma on her death bed, almost two decades ago. Her last words to me were prophetic, and I didn't understand everything then, but time has opened my eyes.
I'm trying Gramma, I'm trying.

Men See You As Desirable

Men often find you immediately attractive and sensual You're honesty is refreshingly beautiful ... it draws guys in You are also able to be open with your feelings with no emotional baggage Packing light means you enjoy new relationships easily

How Do Men See You?

What a marvelous person! You are the splendid
Christmas tree! You are a spirited person who
almost always in a great mood. Your smiles and
laughter are some things that people usually
look forward to in you. You are someone who is
full of energy and ready for a good time. Most
likely you are a social butterfly. All of these
characteristics make you a beautiful person
inside and out. People just really enjoy to be
around you. Merry Christmas =)


What Christmas Figure Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla




Boredom and pain rule as you wait for those things that bring you relief and sweet sleep.
The good news is I'm marvelous and sexy!
Only one more day of work and then I have the weekend off. Wish I could convince my body of that. My body is in pure panic for tomorrow.

I have done nothing Christmasy in or around the house at all. My spirit was killed when we learned Lilly wouldn't be spending any of Christmas with us.
We have so anticipated the first Christmas with her, to not be able to share it with her..... :'(
Bah Humbug on the whole thing!
I keep telling Lilly "play with your own toys - these are Gramma's". It makes no difference. She finds my toys even more entertaining that her own.
And everyday Lilly figures something out that she couldn't do the day before. Something she can reach, push, open, move - it is always a voyage of discovery. She is standing a bit sturdier. Walking can't be too far behind.

Time to go to bed. I have an early mid-shift tomorrow.

I was so wrong
I thought my day off yesterday would involve a bit of cleaning and a nap.
I got called into work instead. They sounded pretty desperate. I spent the day on the sales floor. Doing pulls, helping guests, and back up casheiring. I don't know what was up yesterday, but a Wednesday looked like a Saturday. We were so busy and way under staffed for that. I stayed for six hours or so. That's all my legs would allow. At that time I would have been required to take a lunch. I knew if I sat down, I wasn't getting back up.
I got home and Rand had took Sandra to the store. Uncle Willie was babysitting. Lilly was having a cheese curl feast. She was very happy and very orange.
I spent some quality time with Lilly while collapsed on the floor. She thought is was great fun climbing all over Gramma.

Lilly playing with the cold of the glass.

After our floor play I went for the comfort of my bed.
Lilly had Rand and I rolling in laughter. We had stripped her down to her diaper while Sandra was preparing the bath.
Lilly has been fascinated with her socks lately. Yesterday evening at one point, she went to her dirty clothes basket, fetched out one sock, brought it back into the office and threw it into the garbage.
She grabbed her socks we had just taken of her and was attempting to put them back on. Lilly was rolling every which way, her legs were everywhere, she could get her toes in her mouth, but couldn't master finding them with the socks.
I went to sleep about the same time Lilly did last night (but I woke up first this morning! - by half an hour! I crashed). My legs flared up pretty badly last night. It felt like I had an electric blanket, but it was just the heat rolling off of my legs. I feel pretty achey today. I've got to work tonight again, but mercifully I will spend most of the evening at the phones. Just after we close, I get on the floor.
Of course, we got more snow last night. It is snowing again this morning, and more snow is expected this afternoon. It is still bitter cold. Highs in single digits lows below zero. And my garage door is still stuck (froze?) open. I need some warmer temps. This weekend might bring temps in the 30's. That is going to feel like a heat wave.
Lilly's Christmas pictures are back! I will post them soon.

Lilly's Post
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I think I forgot something
Like my sleeping pill last night. I took my usual handful of pills when I got home, but I just pulled an all nighter. About 5:00 am, I decided I must have forgot the little blue one. By then it was just too late to take it. I'm drinking real coffee now. I'll bet I take a nap later.
Last night wasn't near as busy as we have been. The extreme cold might be starting to slow people down.
It slowed Willie down.
One of the calls I fielded at work was an "I'm going to be late" from Willie. This time his car wouldn't start because of the cold. He left a note for Rand and found a friend to bring him in. My instructions were to wait for his dad to get home, then come in.
Rand gets home, parks his truck, plugs it in, and comes inside to discover Willie's note. He goes back outside to put the battery charger on Willie's car to discover Willie is parked in front of the neighbor's house. So Rand has to unplug his truck, drive it over to Willie's car, jump start Willie's car and drive it to in front of our house, put the battery charger on it, then go get his truck, park it once again, and then plug it in.
So far the only vehicle working, no matter what, is my Jeep. But, my garage door, is now stuck open.
Dear Santa, I want a new garage door and opener installed for Christmas.
I'd settle for just the opener, but I think the whole structure may be the problem.
My door has been beat to death from Willie's days of the basketball hoop on the garage. We eventually took the hoop down - to save the neighbor's house. I had already lost an awning. The whole frame, the garage door sits on, is failing. It looks askew most of the time, besides the door having major large, Willie and basketball sized, dents.

dumb quote of the week
"I think who ever invented cotton should be shot!"
I didn't tell her that inventor would be God.
One of these, I got her whole beef on the clothing industry, in the matter of a few minutes. She didn't like 100% cotton because it shrinks so much. She was explaining how she always has to buy a couple of sizes larger for her family when the label says cotton.
I was really curious to how she is washing her clothes, but didn't ask.
I did mention (in defense of the quality of our clothes) most people prefer cotton because of the comfort. She said the shrinkage factor wasn't worth it. I said nothing about the fabric of most quality clothing items being pre-shrunk.
You can't argue with some people's logic or fix their stupidity.

Willie quote of the day
"You can't eat cereal for breakfast when you're hungry."

walking on all fours - literally

Lilly spent a good amount of time this evening crawling with her feet, instead of her knees. Won't be too much longer before she decides to use just her feet. BTW - Lilly is weighing in at over 20 pounds now!
I'm thinking the diaper genie magic is way over rated. It really seemed a blessing before the solid foods started. I swear I can smell it as I'm typing. And it was garbage day today. The diaper genie is about to be moved to the deck.
This morning Rand's truck did start, despite our negative numbers on the thermometer.
On the other hand, Ryan's car did not start.
Rand is thinking he got a bad outlet to plug into at work. (his batteries are still outdated which doesn't help at all)
Ryan thinks his problem is battery connections. His battery is new this year. (birthday present from us)
We are dipping into negative numbers again tonight with highs again only in the single digits.
I have not set foot outside today. I don't work until tomorrow evening. I'm praying for one hell of a warm front.

Willie had a surprise for us this weekend. He went grocery shopping, did a great job and it was his treat! Willie got everything from, meat, yogurt, fruit, milk, bread - he did really well!

I mostly laid low today trying to recoup my strength. After my very late last night, Sandra and Ryan had me up early with Ryan's car problems. I took a longer morning nap then Lilly did. The highlight of my day was watering the plants and playing with Lilly this evening. Lilly and I made a nice turkey and sides for supper. She has a great amount of patience for things in the kitchen. The leftovers will be great quick meals for the rest of the week.
Rand had just returned from the dentist. he had to have a filling fixed. He was drooling a bit at supper. Time to turn up the heat and take another very hot, very long shower. Actually, I'm very good at very hot, but I get too bored too handle very long.

strange and rude
My last day in a long +weekend closing run. I got home from work about 1:30 am this morning only to head back in at 11:oo am for a midshift. Today's guests were, at best, as described in my title. It was one or the other; sometimes, both. I feeling plenty battle weary and I am very ready for a day off tomorrow. (Rand worked the closing shift at Advance Auto as well today.)
I arrived home in the very bitter cold to a automatic garage door that would not open automatically. It made weak attempts, but was not budging. After many tries with my button, I had to exit my Jeep and force the door open. Then, get back into my Jeep (not easy for an exhausted gimp) to pull it into the garage. The garage door had no problem closing, of course.
Miss Lilly and her folks had returned home not too far ahead of me. Lilly is now on a prescription ointment for her eczema. And her sixth tooth has officially cut through. Lilly had a quick reunion with Grandma, a soothing warm bath, and then proceeded to get into mischief with Camper.

When all else fails, eat the evidence.

Lilly and her folks went to bed early and Willie left for work.
I took a very long, very hot shower to ease my poor body. I snuggled into a favorite old nightie, my warm robe and slippers. I was reading a bit of the paper and giving serious thought of hopping into bed early. My down comforter was calling my name ever so sweetly.
About then Rand called, he was off work. I was hoping he was volunteering to bring home a quick, cheap supper for the two of us. Nope. His truck wouldn't start. I needed to come, and by the way, bring the jumper cables.
I am cozy warm, damp from the shower, and ready to sleep.
Nothing I could do, but get dressed in a hurry and jump in my Jeep Wrangler to go rescue the Ford F350.
My hair froze just as soon as I stepped outside.
The garage door, once again, wouldn't open. After winning another wrestling match with it, I located the jumper cables and headed to rescue my stranded knight.
It took more than one try, 30 minutes, and about 3000 rpm of Jeep to finally get the old diesel to roar back to life. It appears Rand's toy will need new batteries. His beast takes two. Merry Christmas. There is a small hope that the plug outlet he was using malfunctioned. Morning will tell.
For those not familiar, diesel is much thicker than gasoline and can easily gel up in very cold weather, like the pattern we seem to be stuck in. As long as Rand keeps his truck plugged in, everything stays warmed and ready to go. But it still requires a lot of electrical juice to start it as well. His batteries are pretty well aged out.
When I was finally headed back toward home, my arthritis decided to flare up big time. The cold air and my damp state was finally getting to me. My hair had finally freeze dried.

So now, I'm hurting and I'm cold. Worse of all, I'm now wide awake.

If Rand's truck doesn't start, he will take my Jeep to Pepsi. That is if - he can get the Jeep out of the garage. The automatic door was still a problem when I arrived back home.
In only a few hours, we shall know the rest of the story......

Photo Friday
experimental
This started out as the first snowflake of the year on my railing.
I love the way the wood developed a three dimensional look.

mmmmmm.......
Ryan came down yesterday. Today, he made his Heaven sent meatballs in tomato sauce. These are the best meatballs I have ever tasted - ever. The house smelled fantastic! (Still does!) Lilly kept going mmmm.... as she crawled around. She is a big fan of them too. "Mmmm" is Lilly's way of saying she wants a bite.
They headed back to Fort Dodge early this evening with a promise to return on Sunday.
I spent the best part of the morning in bed. I had a routine doctor appointment early this morning and the bitter cold outside and inoming front, really set off my arthritis. My warm down comforter was very inviting when I got back home.
The rest did me good and I was feeling pretty good when I headed to work. I had a short and incredibly busy shift today and was home in time to have a quiet supper with Randy. (Meatballs!)
Then time to watch Lost and Invasion!

I'm feeling better....
Oh the places I would go -
- if only I didn't have to close all weekend!
It's merely a flesh wound...
Everyone in our family (for generations now) (and including all our "adopted" kids) can recite Monty Python and the Holy Grail in their sleep. It is actually part of the "test" we give people our children are interested in dating.
I'm willing to bet Rob works the dialogue into his wedding vows.
Usually Billy Jo's Pitcher Show runs The Rocky Horror picture Show every Saturday midnight. (A show which only Rob and I seem to appreciate.)


If they start to do The Holy Grail on a semi-regular basis, we will have to plan a full family outing.
I have a riddle for you:
What happens when a forty pound dog completely eats a wet diaper?
She eventually throws up!
To make this scientific:
It was a fairly easy clean up. All the bile and crud was soaked up in the diaper "innards". The carpet did not get wet or stained. I'm telling you, with a household of pets and kids, the learning never quits!
I saw the start of a few snowflakes when I was coming home from work. Now, we have a few inches of the white stuff out there. According to the doppler it should be ending soon.