I went back to my foot doctor yesterday. The MRI showed nothing. The doc was really surprised, her was expecting to see a neuroma.
He still feels there is nerve inflammation there. And he is worried about a past bone scan that showed hot spots.
I received another dose of lidocaine and the added bonus of steroids. These were both injected into the top of my foot for the light of heart squeamish out there. Between the 3rd and 4th metatarsal near the nerve in question for the brainy bunch. (Near the toes between the bones for the rest of you)
The only time I screamed was when he sprayed cold stuff to numb it. I really can't take the cold.
The entire appointment took a few hours. Starting with the desk staff put my file in the wrong spot. I was engrossed in a magazine, I wasn't clock watching. So over half an hour past my appointment they remember me. Do all the usual wait on the doc time, intern time (I love interns!), new x-rays, shots, and the icing on my cake: I got a splint that presses into the bottom of my foot and a nice taping job that holds it in place. This is to relieve the nerve from any pressure. I am also supposed to stay off of it. Other than the fact that the bottom of my foot is really pissed, no real changes in my life.
January 30, 2008
And it was cold and snowing
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8:33 PM
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Lilly, her dump truck, and ballet bar
But then, in spite of herself, broke out in smile!
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8:14 PM
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I Need a Bigger TV
I need a bigger TV in our bedroom.
On occasion, I would like to watch television in bed, given I am blessed with a few conditions that make that necessary. Especially with weather like we are currently having. Nothing like a huge weather front to start up a flare!
The reason I need a larger television is due to my hearing loss.
She's finally gone a bit touched in the head they'll say.
I have suffered from tinnitus for a many years. Ringing in the the ears. Mine rarely sounds like ringing, but more like locus.
Beyond that little annoyance, this year, I have noticed the other sounds, not the locus, unfortunately, growing more muffled. There's another blog there someday.
I am using the close captioning so I can enjoy my favorite shows without blasting the entire neighborhood. As for other things in the real world, I just smile and nod. ;)
In our bedroom I can't see the close captioning well enough to read it. In fact there seem to be lots of little details I can't quite make out.
New bifocals are needed, but the last time I got new glasses, seriously, a new TV would be cheaper. And being home on disability doesn't pad the pockets.
I was blessed with finding Zenni Optical!
ZenniOptical.com Sells Stylish Prescription Glasses Online.
You will find huge selection of frames, with single vision lens, sun sensor (photochromic) lens, tinted sunglasses lens, bifocal lens and progressive lens. The Secret to Zenni’s Low Prices is that they sell only their own manufactured frames direct to the customer, with no middlemen and virtually no advertising budget. I can pick up a pair of glasses here for less than half what I paid for my current pair. There are so many frames to choose from and to easily fit every budget.
This post is sponsored Zenni Optical
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1:13 AM
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January 27, 2008
Don't Eat That!
One of the most spoke phrases during Lilly's reign of toddlerhood. Don't eat that. This is closely followed by: Get that out of your mouth. Give that to me. Don't touch that.
You get a feeling that Lilly at three is outgrowing these trends, but is only still practicing for our reactions.
Today, her reactions were priceless.
She started by taking a healthy nibble of my butter bar.
She did a bit of gagging on that one.
Later, we were doing laundry and I asked her to throw the lint from the dryer away.
She suddenly started screaming, "Get it off!". Lilly came running to me to show me a tongue covered in dryer lint.That one was pretty funny! She has been taking care of lint for me for years and she just now decides to taste it?
Tonight in a very onary mood in the bath tub, Lilly grabs the bar of soap and takes a pretty good bite of it. Before I can react Lilly grabs a cup and is trying to rinse the soap out of her mouth by pouring soapy water on her tongue. I grabbed her wash clothe and wiped off her tongue and teeth.
Following her bath, I was greasing her down with vasoline and Lilly attempted to take a bite of that as well! Believe it or not, she found that extremely unpalatable as well.
At the very least she will be outgrowing this behavior since her palate has!
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January 19, 2008
Here she is!
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12:07 AM
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January 18, 2008
It's a Girl!
Caitlyn Veronica
7lb 10 oz, 19.5 "
Pictures will be posted here as soon as I can get them!

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6:32 PM
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January 17, 2008
Another Day in Paradise
It's a bad sign when they won't talk to you on the phone.
Go ahead and play the song, you will enjoy it! And it will be the perfect background music to my update. I promise.
Monday
I ended up getting very ill from the MRI contrast. It was a very long night.
Tuesday
I over did. It makes me mad over how much I didn't accomplish, but still managed to push my self over the edge. Willie helped. In reality I let him. And he staying with us for a few days to be closer to his work.
What's on the other side of over the edge?
A grand mall migraine complete with puking.
And the timing was poetic.
Wednesday
I wake up after another very long night. I've missed a couple of doses of all of my meds. I'm weak as a kitten, white as a ghost, and ready to face my first day back to work at Target. Yes, you read that correctly. I was making my triumphant comeback.
I had to do a lot of bargaining with my doctors and I am allowed to work one day a week for 4-6 hours. I bargained them up from 2 hours a week. They bargained me down from 3 half days.
The first thing I needed to do was shower. Get some color in my cheeks and imagined puke out of my hair. I walk into the bathroom and hear the shower start in the next room. Can't shower at the same time. His shower captivates the majority of the hot water.
Willie - 2 , Mom - 0
I wash my face, brush my teeth, and flush the toilet for good measure. I like listening to the screams from the other bathroom.
Willie - 2, Mom - 1
I use my cosmetology skills to look good, feel better and hide my illness. I don my red and khaki colors of honor.
By the time I get to my office, I'm ready to go home. I'm tired. I end up spending six hours on my first day. My brain hurts. I go home over spent with another mounting migraine. I spend the evening in darkness and sleep steals me from the pain.
I woke up in bed this afternoon with no clue of how I got there. I've missed a couple of more doses of meds.
Thursday
I am dizzy today. (I hear my brothers chuckling) My head still hurts.
The last thing I remember is talking to Ashley around 5:30pm. I awake/return to consciousness around 8:30pm. I'm cold, in pain and sprawled out in a strange position. It appears I was getting up and passed out. The loveseat broke my fall. The good news is my head feels better. And I missed another dose of my meds.
In afterthought, I'm not going to worry about the dizziness and fainting until I am taking my meds correctly. I know the hard way what loss of a needed drug can do to me. If it still continues when I am correctly taking everything, then it is time to alert the doctors.
I have saved the best for last.
I had a message yesterday to get hold of my foot specialist. He needs to meet with me concerning my MRI results.
It's a bad sign when they won't talk to you on the phone.
This is the topper to a very hard week. I know I am facing another surgery; that will likely involve the word tumor. And hopefully the word benign.
The worse part in my head - Dear God, I really, really, don't want to be cut again.
This is not my best week.
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11:37 PM
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Life Plan
"Decide what you love to do best, then figure out how to get paid doing it."
I have to write.
I love to put my thoughts on blog.
I like telling people about things I love.
These love things include family friends, pets, neighbors (at least I love to write about them!), ideals.....and ideas.
Ideas.
I have millions of them floating through my head. I absolutely adore when something new and brilliant comes along. A light bulb goes off and an idea is born.
Somebody had a thought. Their thought becomes reality. Our lives can be forever changed. It can include the simplest of new products that make our life easier, cleaner (a personal favorite), or be as big as the technology that changes the world in a moment.
I love to share here when I find something that can change lives. We are in this race of life together - why not share what we know. Maybe it's a bit like 'Pay it forward'. But.........
No matter how
small or how
BIG.
PayPerPost started out somewhere as an idea. It offers true opportunities to those who touch the world in their own little way by sharing their own ideals and ideas in the space of a blog.
Personally, I think PayPerPost is a great idea. Advertisers merge directly with the consumer. Fellow bloggers and readers, the consumer, learn through word of mouth.
I decided to sign up after watching other fellow bloggers talk about their earnings. Bloggers I have followed for years. A few of them decided to give this a try last year. I'm watching on the sidelines on how easily this works for them and it does not compromise their blogs integrity. And I am awed at the creativity that goes into their posts!
Most importantly: I get paid for telling you about these wonderful things while sitting in my my absolute favorite, very ancient nightie. Maybe, I will use my first paycheck to buy my next most favorite nightie. ;) (This nightie is getting very close to the end of usability)
That's right, I'm making money in my pajamas! PayPerPost, count me in!
I am being paid to write. I am very excited!
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2:52 AM
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January 15, 2008
A Great Place To Be
I just sat down to check my email and dear friend Bec sent this. It is perfect - Thank you!
Old Age, I decided, is a gift.
I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.
I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.
I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?
I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set .
They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)
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10:04 AM
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January 14, 2008
Happy 3rd Birthday Lilly!
Today sweet Lilly is officially three! Lilly hits this birthday in perfect three form.
Lilly is a perfect, small person - who now completely understands. She is in control and can make her own decisions.
In reality she is allowed to make the only some of the decisions, the rest, we grown-ups still make - but don't try to tell Lilly that. This is an argument you will lose!
Sandra had a very nice birthday party for Lilly on Saturday. It was ballerina themed and included music, dancing and tumbling, pin the tutu on the ballerina, a ballerina slipper pinata, and a beautiful cake which included a twirling ballerina!
I have no good pictures. Rand was using my camera. The batteries died after the third shot. All are rather out of focus. I some great video of Lilly dancing, Lilly and Anna dancing, to Lilly's favorite song. Which, I have no way to download at this time. I am working on it.
Lilly was quite uncooperative with Sandra on her wardrobe. Might have been due to her cold. It is probably divine wisdom. Sandra had at least got Lilly to wear a princess costume for a bit. I convinced Lilly to wear the tutu Sandra had wanted, but it was even short lived. Lilly is now three and has full control of "No! I do it!" which includes her choice of not dressing for her party.
Lilly was attired for most of her party in a white turtle neck and a pair of white tights. She had a nice bright red streak of impetigo running under her nose and across her cheeks from wiping her nose on her sleeve. Her hair a mess. That's my girl!
I was very unprepared as far as my equipment.
Rand worked some Saturday morning. He was getting off early. He was to be home shortly after 11am we were to leave shortly after 12pm.
I laid down for a quick, much needed nap, (bad pain night) figuring he would wake me up when he got home. Giving me plenty of time to dress and finish gathering up my stuff.
My mistake. I tried to apply logic to a man's actions.
Rand came home, showered, and dressed up very nicely. He decided to wake me, at 12pm!
I was in my pajamas and its time to leave! My pain levels affect how easily I can dress (usually not easily) and even what I can wear on most days. I have a lot of beautiful sweaters and lately I find most of them too rough for my painfully sensitive skin. Even yarn size is an issue. Me getting dressed: "No - it's touching me!". Try on another. Continue until something works. What works can change during the course of the day.
Cameras were a second thought once I was in the Buick and Rand went back inside for them. So we left quite unprepared digitally.
At the end of Lilly's birthday party, while others were cleaning up, Lilly and I worked on her nose. Her little nose was so sore she was refusing to blow. I had Sandra bring me a snot sucker. Lilly was always quite fond of them as an infant. Seriously. She would giggle while you used it on her. The funny sucking noises always delighted her.
She was a bit shy of it this time, her little nose being so sore. I told her it was a bugger catcher. That impressed her. We spent a great deal of time catching buggers and checking the expelled buggers out on the tissues. We even had Anna greatly entertained with this.
I picked her up to kiss her and say goodbye. I told her it was time for Gramma to go home. Lilly asked to go home with me. I told her Mommy probably wanted her to stay with her. And Lilly hugged my necked and asked ever so soulfully, "Please?"
So, exhausted from her party and growing sicker with her cold, Lilly went home with us.
We also got to escort Anna and her mommy, who's car decided to die up there. We dropped them off at their home and then home with Lilly.
We had supper watched a movie, and Lilly had a bath with her newest baby - a ballerina water baby named Twinkles. I was up most the night with Lilly, her cough was so much worse when she laid down. I held her on my chest sitting up so that she could sleep more peacefully. Lilly and I finished our visit sleeping through Sunday afternoon until Grandpa woke us when it was time to take Lilly home.
I don't mind a bit caring for Lilly when she is sick. Anytime with Lilly is quality time. I was seriously done in from the trip and party. Quality cuddle time worked. And I'm sure it has the same effect for Lilly. Gramma spoiling while your sick? That's as good as it gets!
I was up and out very early this morning. Dropping off the paperwork that will allow me to return to work. I am starting at one 4-6 hr a day per week. That is over some of my doctors recommendation of 2 hours a week. I actually want to be useful.
I returned home and learned I got to have an MRI on my left foot - today. Which is how I spent my afternoon. I have a new doctor for my foot. My treatment is so much better in just a couple of visits, I actually have hope of getting rid of my cane this year. But for right now things are not looking great. My return to work may be short lived. I'm pretty sure I'm facing foot surgery in the near future. there are a couple of spots of concern. Possibly a neuroma, that will need to be removed near the toes.
And they have found an anomaly on my third metatarsal at the other end of my foot. Seems to be spooking the doctors because of my bone tumor a bazillion years ago in my right foot. That involved the third metatarsal as well. I am not too spooked. What are the odds that I could develop bone tumors in both feet in my lifetime?
The MRI went with my usual flair. More than one poke, a vein blew and I got to feel the extra pain as the contrast then formed a hard burning lump as it flowed out of the blown vein and into my body. They restarted with better results. I have felt very ill this evening. I assume it is a side effect of the contrast. Joy.
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January 12, 2008
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January 8, 2008
Lilly bits
Lilly at three
A week from today, Lilly will turn three.
Three is the age of, "I do it!".
Lilly's party will be this Saturday up north. Email me for details.
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder
We were taking a potty break together.
Mind you, I have to argue to use the big potty every time.
She wants to use the big potty and wants me to use her potty chair. I argue that Gramma's joints won't let her go low enough for the little potty. And then I pick her up and move her because I am done arguing. When you're middle aged and have given birth, there is not a lot of pre-potty discussion time available.
One particular potty run, not too long ago, Lilly and I were finishing up and she suddenly exclaimed in awe, "Gramma, your underwear is so beautiful! They look just like mine!"
She quickly reached into her miniature jeans and pulled her underwear up to her chest to show me.
She was wearing a white pair of padded toddler potty pants.
I was in my white granny panties.
But in Lilly's eyes, we were both beautiful.
Personal Chef
Lilly grabbed a bottle of water out of a newly bought package and brought to me. Lilly said I couldn't have it yet, it wasn't ready. But she would get it ready.
Lilly took the bottle to the fridge, opened the door, (a new skill) and put it in.
She checked on it periodically through the day.
A few hours later, clutching this bottle she came running to me, all excited and proudly exclaimed, "Your water's ready! It's cold now!".
I took from her, took a long drink, and declared it wonderful.
Lilly was so proud!
Lilly loves to cook in her kitchen and help me in the kitchen whenever possible.
This was her first "solo" project.
And I got to be her recipient!
Pennies from Heaven
Lilly's favorite type of music is currently Jazz. During Christmas season, the Elf soundtrack filled her need beautifully.
I play a lot of different types of music and she's loves it all.
When Lilly requests her Jazz songs and when that music starts playing there is no stopping that little munchkins body! Lilly's feet are a moving, her hips are swinging and her face is pure joy.
I have tried to capture this on video - but to no success yet.
Camera on = Lilly off
Lilly's favorite bedtime routine with Gramma -
We dance to slow music. She wants "up" and with a giant embrace, Lilly lays her head on my shoulder. We sway in the darkness to the music. When I lay her on her bed, she is soothed and secure and goes to sleep very quickly.
Putting it in perspective
Lilly's doll Suzie is a major computerized annoyance.
She out performs Baby Alive, or Cindy as Lilly has named hers, by a long shot.
I found myself many a late night, having accidentally awoken Suzie, going nuts trying to meet all of this dolls needs and tolerate all the playtimes.
Suzie was quite vocal if she requested, for example her bottle or bear, and this need was not met. The mothering instinct in me runs so strong I would do everything I could to make this doll happy.
Yes, I cannot ignore the cries of a baby, or a doll.
Sandra reports Lilly has caring for Suzie going better than even she or I could manage.
Lilly tells Suzie, "You are going to sleep now." and then she reaches behind the doll and shuts her off.
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10:22 PM
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Trying to exercise
...........my brain!
I have not weighed in on the current political scale. (admit it Rob - that's a good sentence)
I am reupublican. I feel a bit ashamed to say I am feeling the Obama sway. The shame comes from the shift in loyalty, akin to a cheating spouse. I am a strong supporter of our current president, George W. Bush. Now, everyone stop and say a supportive prayer for our president and our troops.
In no particular order.......
A recipe for a good candidate:
- Obama Pie I love brains and this man is loaded with them! Add a nice slice of humility, the crust is pure regard for humanity - no lard used here! This is nicely seasoned with ability to balance life well. A happy family is a good show of proof of balance. This holds up well at room temperature and even will stand well under a few blows. Rand and I have developed our own catch phrase for this run: I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you. This is a very attractive dish.
- Edwards Roast The first taste here is inner strength. A deeper flavor is understanding of where we, the little guys, are. This dish is braised in personal knowledge - his family being chased by the devil named cancer while running for the top position. Marinated by being raised in a family that didn't fit the mold and punched time clocks. Slow cooked to perfection. Some with their noses in the air may not buy something called a "rump roast", but this is a dish fit for kings. A fantastic, tender cut that all will appreciate.
- Huckabee Whiskey Let's face it. That is just fun to say. Illegal during prohibition, but making a strong comeback in the Rebirth of Morals. Brewed very strong and nicely aged. A sipping whiskey and good for medicinal purposes. Best brewed in the finest of southern distilleries. A whiskey will never steer you wrong, but it will set you on your butt and change your view of the world for awhile. When choosing, go for the best money can buy. It's worth it!
- Clinton Caramel Corn This is a family recipe handed down a generation or two. Oven is already preheated on this one. Pop several quarts of popcorn. When you have filled your largest oven-proof pan full of fluff, prepare caramel topping. Start by melting butter, when everything is nice and melted into a slick willie, add equal amounts of white and brown sugar. Cook until everything is nice and bubbly. Add a touch of tada! and watch out - things are going to rise quickly and stuff will be hitting the stove! Pour onto corn and watch everything fall a bit. This has to be slow cooked in a lukewarm political oven for years. A dish that takes a long time to prepare. Delicious, but don't over indulge in this one.
- Romney Slaw This is a simple dish to prepare. Take a head of cabbage. Add a dressing. Taste hasn't changed in decades. Goes well with a a grilled meat, but take note - this is a side dish, reminiscent of Quayle potatoes. The Romney recipe does take a big dash of hard on illegal immigration.
- Thompson Squash Tough as nails on the outside, inside is soft. This vegetable stores well, but too delicious to leave in storage forever. Use a large, sharp edge knife and cut through the heart of popularity. Roast this in an antique stove. A safe dish to serve with any cut of meat or could be filled to make this a main dish. Your Grandma served it with Watergate salad. This is simple dish that pretty well serves itself and needs very little help. Your grandmother still serves it. You hesitate when you first see it, but you will always take a serving. Maybe Grandma knows best?
- Richardson Rice A nice side dish to everything, I will take a bowl of this and call it a meal. Enriched with previous experience. This has lots of color through added bits of leadership, ethnicity, religion, and a strong sense of self. This is a very filling dish that is happy to stick to your important issues.
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2:15 AM
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January 6, 2008
Midnight Cooking with Lilly
Seriously, it was midnight.
Lilly was going strong and Gramma was failing fast.
Lilly was using hot cocoa in her bear sip-a-cup for this meal preparation.
"Here Gramma. Your pickles are ready!"
Next lesson - Cleaning Up!
BTW - did you notice how great her skin looks?
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4:29 AM
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January 5, 2008
I love it!
My new favorite find for holiday gifts was handmade soaps from Soapourri. They are made right here in
I was ready to place my first order when friend Ashley (Anna's mom) surprised me with a bar for Christmas. I was gifted the Stargazer Lily fragrance. It is so intoxicating; I will take a heady whiff whenever I am near. The soap itself is so soothing I have put my other soaps away. This is now my face and body soap. I find I am taking much longer showers. It is so hard to stop using this luxurious product.
Lilly has had rather severe eczema since she was a few weeks of age. With diligent care it can be kept under control. She could not tolerate fragrances or a majority of products made specifically for children. Boring, colorless and scentless products have dictated her skin regime.
We tested Soapourri on Lilly over her long holiday visit and…..For the first time in her life, Lilly can use a beautiful, fragrant soap! (Stargazer Lily as well - She really loved Gramma's!) Nobody is more thrilled than this little princess! The Soapourri soap is very soothing to her delicate skin.
The Butter Bar is magnificent! Its unique packaging makes it easy enough for an almost-three year old to use. Three is the "I do it!" age. Lilly would ask for her butter bar whenever she was feeling her "owies" (eczema hot spots) and it brought her instant relief. She would use it very correctly and hand it off to Gramma only for the spots she couldn't reach. Her skin remained beautifully clear.
Everyone got their own unique soap for their stockings and loved their handpicked fragrances.
Lilly's Butter Bar went home with her and I really miss it!
I will be placing my next order very soon!
Randy fights very dry skin, got his own bar as well, and in just a few days there is noticeable difference in his skin.
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January 4, 2008
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So Gramma and Lilly got the Inch worm for Anna.
After the girls exchanged gifts, the normal toddler jeaslousy ensued with the toddler notion of "It's all mine!' Anna was better behaved than Lilly at sharing, but she also started their tea party by throwing a tea cup at Lilly's head. It was a very short lived tea party
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3:02 PM
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Polar Express
One of Lilly's favorite Christmas movies is Polar Express.
We watched it several times day. She could almost repeat all of the dialogue as it played out. When she wanted to watch it, yet again, it was usually by hollering for all to hear,
"All aboard!"
This small box was the last one to be found under the tree.
Then in almost movie perfect perfection, the test.
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