You're a mean one.....Granny Grinch! Language Alert!

Sandra has a new post concerning the other "poor white trash excuse of a grandmother".

The preclude:
This woman was given the grace of seeing Lilly, even though the sperm donor has no visitation rights. Well there is a visitation order, but the sperm donor would have to complete drug rehabilitation therapy and test "clean" weekly and his roommates would have to test clean and he would have to pay child support.... oh hell, why don't they just say grow up, be a man, and at least act like you care!
It Starts:
It started to go bad when the other grandma showed up beating on Sandra's house for Sandra to answer the door. She wanted to see Lilly now!!!
Lilly was with me and Sandra was not in a position to answer the door and this woman actually scared her when she started going nuts and banging when Sandra didn't answer right away. Then she started calling her every few minutes non-stop while she was still at the house and when Sandra checked her messages - these were not done in a friendly tone. Sandra called us - we told her to call 911 and ordered her down here right away!
And the calling never stopped. For hours. Every few minutes an even angrier message.
In the beginning we wondered if she was drunk.
After awhile we decided maybe the sperm donor was behind it.
I decided my home had been interrupted enough and if he wanted his mommy to play - time to put this mommy into action.
Now mind you, this grandparent who has no rights under state law was given the GRACE of seeing Lilly and occasionally babysitting her - by Sandra. I even supported it, knowing how big my grandmother's love for Lilly is.
But the other grandparent was given two rules: Stay sober, no drinking at all
(funny story here about how SHE once was drunk and had Lilly at a pool and dropped Lilly in accidentally and fell in drunk behind her. Except for that's not funny. Sounds like a nursery rhyme meant to scare children and piss off the rest of us.)
and rule #2, don't let the sperm donor see her. Because not even the state of Iowa, nor anyone living in the state of Iowa who doesn't self-medicate, thinks thinks this guy is safe to be around her.

I discovered she broke the rules.
In fact, she bragged to me how she called the sperm donor over every time she babysat!
WASFB! (What A Stupid Fucking Bitch!) (By the way, she hates it when you call her that.)

So it was over.
She threw away the gift of seeing Lilly.
All this went down right before Christmas.
She has no sense of timing either.

Then sperm donor decided to sue for visitation rights. Couldn't go behind the law's back anymore to annoy our sweet Lilly. Lilly has complained to me in the past that Ryan (she doesn't like to call him Daddy), "flicks her and thumps her and won't even stop even when I tell him I don't like it!" Sounds like a bad play date doesn't it?
He has visitation rights, but he must want to skip the part where he has to complete rehab and stay clean. Somewhere I feel the need to throw in that he has a history of abusing females. Lilly's one. So is her mother and he learned that particular talent from his dad.
Interesting fact: Every time over the past few years when I ask the direct question, "Is your son abusing you?" she changes the subject. Not a good sign. I have had good reasons to ask plus a whole lot of my intuition.

I was feeling bad about this grandma not being able to see Lilly. It could be the sperm donor was forcing her to comply. I was actually working on Sandra to allow her to see Lilly under Sandra's supervision.
My bad.

Our first clue should have been Lilly's birthday. I was still asking Sandra to consider inviting the other grandma over that evening.
She blew that when she forced her way into Sandra's house. Yelled at Sandra, that she had the right to see Lilly on her birthday, went all through the house looking for God knows what. Sandra called us still shaking. We told her she should have called 911.. And to search her house, in case the reason WASFB went all through out the house looking through things (like drawers) was to plant some of sperm donor's evidence. But that would be giving this WASFB a lot of credit. She is not the brightest bulb on the tree.
I asked after all that -
what did she get Lilly for her birthday?
WASFB had announced to Lilly that if she wanted her presents (birthday and Christmas) she was going to have to come to her house to get them. What kind of a SFB of a grandmother doesn't at least give her grandchild a present after illegally forcing her way into their house? That much work to break the law and you didn't bring a gift?
I told Sandra time to lose her. There was nothing Lilly needed or wanted that we (collective family) couldn't buy for her. Lilly doesn't need their stuff. And they are not the kind of people we want to influence her and they have been proven by the state not to be safe for Lilly to be around.
Some time has passed and suddenly the other grandma asked Sandra and Lilly out to supper.
Sandra told me she has no idea why she said yes.

The Story:
An excerpt from Sandra's blog:
"We also stopped by [Grandmother] Jackie's the other day (don't ask). Lilly was finally able to open the presents that Jackie has been using to upset her in an attempt to manipulate me into letting her have Lilly. I mean, who tells a four year old that she has a tons of presents that she can't have unless "Mommy lets her come over to Grandma's house"? And then, when Mommy does finally let her go over and open her presents, she isn't allowed to bring any of them home but "you can come over and play with them whenever Mommy lets you". If she truly cared about Lilly having the gifts (the majority of which was from other people) then it wouldn't matter WHERE Lilly had them at! She did allow Lilly to 'borrow' one of her presents that she has to 'return' as soon as she sees Jackie again. "


Sandra described Lilly to me as a screaming, sobbing, snotty mess being forced to leave her toys behind. I couldn't imagine that kind of heartbreak as a child. At age 4 being given a whole bunch of presents and then being told they are not yours to keep. What cruelty!

I love Lilly so much I would give my life for hers.
I'd be willing to take a life for her too.

What kind of a stupid fucking parent of a sperm donor doesn't let a toddler have her presents? They are not even all hers to take. Other people who love Lilly left them for her.

You can burn in hell Jackie Nelson of Fort Dodge, Iowa. God really punishes those who hurt his children.

You stupid bitch, you are abusing Lilly mentally!
Maybe the sperm donor learned how to mentally abuse from you, not the sperm donor's father as you claim!

You broke the trusting innocence of a child.

I went from from happy to super psycho bitch on a total stranger in public. I caught her literally stealing candy from my, then toddler, niece Crissy.

I am so much more angrier now.

Lilly thinks you are very mean to do this.
Gammy Pam will make it all better.
With hope she will forget all about you and your evil ways.

I *Heart* You Not

Sandra has a new blog and posted a paper she wrote for school:

Child Support Fraud Proposal

I posted this very long answer on her blog and decided to bring it - plus more and the topic here.

I would love to see a particular dead beat sperm donor (Ryan Lee Nelson of Fort Dodge, Iowa) offered the alternative of terminating his parentage in lieu of back support. But I know some think he should pay back support - no matter what.
But he should give up his parental rights - regardless of anything else.
He brags about being "paid under the table" and as far as the "government knows" he "only" works 1 day per week.
Seriously - a healthly white 30 -something child support owing male who can live on working one day a week?
He goes through this great "deception" just to avoid paying more child support!
What a sperm donor.
Currently he pays $50 A MONTH (wow) with an extra bonus of $10, a WHOLE ten dollars folks, in back support. Can you be so lacking of common sense (even in the depths of drug hell) to know and do what is best for your child?
Please, just walk away and let Lilly be free from the HORROR that is you and your life!
But, I dream.

Sandra proposes hiring outsiders to collect for a percentage of the lump sum.
I'm still fighting for SSD. If you hire a lawyer they get 30-35% at least of your past payments. They can present exactly what you have and but make the difference. I don't get it. Until I get an attorney, Social Security will claim I am getting better, even though all of my doctors wrote that I had multiple, untreatable, and incurable diseases, had already hit rock bottom, and was still sinking fast. But when faced with somebody who - can take a full third of the money I need to pay for my medications and help finish paying for my powerchair - Social Security will pay you a lump sum of what you’re owed.

Most of the time you aren't going to get a lump sum from a dead beat. They aren't going to have it. Maybe we need a financial backer, like our government, who will pay the back payments for the sake of the children, and go then after the dead beat sperm donors. Then dead beats could make their back payments to the government and be given another chance to be honest with the rest of their child support payments, having been forced to learn a hard lesson at required dead beat classes. If not, hopefully the government agency, created just for this, will use Dog the Bounty Hunter and Steve Wilkos to beat it out of them.
The government would be in a better place to collect from garnishing wages to taking tax returns. When they apply for a marriage license, the new wives should have to sign a disclosure to make sure they are informed of these guys’ current obligations. They should be made aware of how this could affect their future? family.
This could be a political platform for single moms. Why should the kids live in poverty (also using more social services the taxpayers must pay for) and why isn't the government really going after these guys for the sake of saving money on social services? The moms shouldn't be lost in a tangle of red tape. After a period of say 3 months of non-payment it should be an easy paperwork file for the moms.
And if a guy has six kids by six moms (insert your favorite number here) we need to discuss neutering or a hefty fine. This will be their choice, just as having the original sperm donating sex was - their choice.
Maybe the new "Scarlet Letter" should be a bright yellow D showing these men to be the yellow bellies they are for turning their backs on their children. The D representing the words: Dad (not!), sperm Donors, and Dead-beats. Why can’t we see the most wanted dead beats for our area posted in the post office next to the most wanted criminals? Maybe some business owner will have a heart and give the dead beats first or even second (gasps) jobs to make sure they can act like men and hold their heads high in front of all children.
(Feel free to fill in the terms of custodial and non-custodial parents here. I just used the majority rules.)

I *Heart* You

I really thought I had posted a time or two since. Shows how my mind has been. I truly don't intend to ignore this blog. I do want to blog that real sense of travel through the middle ages, as I like to call them.
Obviously I have been very busy with Suzy. She understood at a young age that when Mom was on the computer, Mom was too distracted to notice what you where up to. Now Suzy is usually content to gnaw on a chew toy snug beneath my chair.



As the weather turns cool - my pain increases.
This winter saw a top spike.

Our insurance company implemented a new policy; I get my drugs from them or pay full price. This is your basic cut and dried extortion drive.

With their help my drugs were over $500 a month. So I certainly couldn't afford to pay the full manufacturer's full driven price gouging.

I take ten medications daily. I have 14 regular prescriptions going.

I have had to call each of the doctors and request this change. Some were right on board - even faxing my scripts straight to the insurance company. Others required me to make the foot work or making appointments $$$ to get my scripts.

In all the confusion, lost scripts, and with a 14-21 day turn around (not what they promised) I ended up not having three of my most major drugs and painkillers for two weeks.

I had the consequence of a very serious withdrawal the first of half of December. It was some of the worse pain I have been through.

Merry Christmas.

Plus, instead of paying for a month supply of my drugs I am now getting a three month $upply. Plea$e pay now.

Merry Chri$tma$.

Lilly and her mom were going to be spending the entire holiday season with us. I decided I was not going to be bedridden for this quality Lilly time. I asked my most favorite pain doctor for a way to enjoy the holidays. She agreed and I was put on steroids for the holidays.

The downside: weight gain - the upside: laughter with Lilly.
I had a great Christmas!

Before this entire fiasco with my meds my life was losing to the pain. My meds have been increased and I am having better days - pain wise.

I am also having a serious struggle with depression. My doctors have recommended I see someone. Our insurance sucks. I can't afford to see someone.

What I need is to see and/or to talk to people. Any takers?

Dad is out of the hospital for those wondering.
He had pnuemonia for those lost.