This Bear Bites!

Grace Fully Realized

2011-04-18T01:18:00.001-05:00

Or You Can Call Me Grace My nickname growing up was Grace - for my lack of. My very FIRST step at 9 mths I fell and broke my collar bone. Rode my trike down basement steps - stitches in lip. Bad car accident at age 4, we were hit head on by a drunk driver. Dad was in intensive care. I was emotionally damaged by all I saw. The tall bridge we were on. broken glass, crying Alan, lots of police and flashing lights. Dad not talking and bloody as the put him in an ambulance. And of course no serious incident would be complete with out the image of Mom freaking out. Bike wreck at 5, hurt a hand. Alan and I collided and even though my hand was caught in his spokes he was still peddling hard. He admits he was wondering why I was following him. Bike wreck at 8, did damage to a knee that is still a problem over 40 yrs later. I have been observed riding my bike and just falling over. I am no longer allowed to ride a bike - Drs. orders. Took up tether ball and had more sprained fingers and wrists than I could count. Explosion at 16. I had 2nd and 3rd degree burns. Lost a summer and healed without a scar! Praise God! Torn ankle ligaments. Walked on that bad ankle for months because no one who saw me fall believed I could of hurt my ankle. My mom once slammed me in the head with a cupboard door. We were playing. She really thought I would move, I really didn't think she would shut it. I have had numerous heat strokes, stepped on many nails, sprained my back more than once. Cracked and bruised ribs from falls and car accidents. My second drunk driver resulted in tearing the pectoral muscle. Not pretty let me tell you! I once got drug several feet by the truck - I was driving. I would have swore I had it stopped! (bad parking brake) There were so many more car accidents. None my fault, but many I escaped, sometimes to the surprise of onlookers, unscathed. Tripped at work and almost finished the bad knee. It lost more function - again. Fell in driveway around midnight in zero degree weather - and couldn't get up or reach my phone (slid under the car, of course). It took over an hour to drag myself to the house. I am now in a wheelchair due to autoimmune diseases. I have gotten stuck in mud, in doorways, between clothing racks, knocked over store racks, and ran into more than I care to remember. I have ruined clothes running over them while wearing them. My last drunk driver, we pulled in front of him to stop him from driving until police arrived. He rammed us repeatedly, not understanding why his car wouldn't move. BTW? I was on my way home from the ER when we found him! Last week in my wheelchair, while trapped in my front door, I managed to knock down the door on the coat closet. My grace is fully realized in knowing I have been given miracles to escape some of these escapades. So many times things could have easily led to death or more serious injury. Angels must be watching after me! There is truth to the adage of never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. You really need her there!

A Spoonie Anthem and All Wet

2010-09-01T22:51:00.002-05:00

I found this on a favorite website of mine; But You Don't Look Sick
Please read the the story with this link.
If not the post then do read (or sing) the song at the end!
I also possess the gift of writing new words to old music as my family and previous co-workers know.
I bow to Stephanie here. This is awesome!
Sick Humor: A Spoonie Anthem

The rain has finally brought me down. Yesterday Rob and I lucked out and caught sunshine and were able to do our laps outside. With all the kids back in school we had the pool to ourselves. But I was drained and not able to do my usual laps.
Today I wasn't able to catch the brief moments of sunshine. When there was I was busy talking online, on phone and in person. I was popular today! When things finally settled down, I was more than ready for my afternoon nap.
That was not to be.
I was doing a small bit of picking up. I picked up newly bought band-aids, plain, as Rand hates wearing Hello Kitty band-aids to work. I open the closet door, reach in to put them away, and a drop of water hit my hand. I look up to see the ceiling panel bulging down, water dripping from it.
Our AC pipes run through there. This is a huge closet that is as long as our hall. It is our linen closet as well as holds over flow from the kitchen in the way of rarely used items.
I put in a quick call to maintenance and start unloading the shelves as quickly as I can. To some luck I keep the towels I use only on Suzy and Camper right underneath. Also my cleaning rags are there. I grab them and all are soaked through and dripping. I also move surrounding kitchen small appliances to make the needed room for service. I cannot remove a few large pieces of Tupperware. They are stuck and quite possible the only thing keeping that ceiling tile up!
The next shelf has only solid items and water stained this shelf quite deeply, but my stuff stayed mostly dry. I still move the most vulnerable should a rush of water come down.
The third shelf is all beach towels. An entire stack of four is soaked through.
The next shelf is blankets, but luckily, the beach towels had just started to drip and only the edge of the shelf is wet.
After maintenance gets the problem under control, they are leaving everything open to watch. Meaning: I couldn't put anything away. Probably for the best as emptying the closet did me in. I set my alarm to wake for Big Brother and finally got my nap in.

As summer winds to an end.....

2010-08-25T21:50:00.004-05:00

Less than a month left of summer.

As usual I am not ready to let go.

The squirrels are burying food deeply in my planters. They started getting frantic about it last month. Is this an indicator of an early winter?
I have had to buy new plants to cover the damage they have done.

Lilly and I have had a full fun summer.

We made it to the outside pool almost every day. I am deeply tanned, she has a nice light tan. I used SPF 12, she was covered in SPF 50. I'm also on a lot of medications that say do not go in the sun, so I tried to limit us to less than 3 hours a day.
Neither one of us is a morning person. We would spend our mornings lounging around watching educational TV. Lilly considers toast with peanut butter, sprinkled with cinnamon sugar and excellent snack. She still adores her hot chocolate.
We would usually go swimming by mid morning and be back for lunch around noon or so. We would then have a quiet time of rest. Followed by other play, reading stories, coloring, or crafts

She makes friends as easily as I do. For the first time, I was pushed away. As soon as any other kids would show up, she would tell me to go swim in the deep end because she was going to play with them. Whether she knew them or not. She was going to make a new friend and obviously hanging with your gramma isn't cool. She would always promise to play with me next time.

I have taught her that to make a new friend all you have to do is say, "Hi! I'm Lilly!"

So I guess it is my own fault.

Lilly was having some concerns about kindergarten.

One day out of the blue, she announced that if she just said 'Hi, I'm Lilly' it would probably make friends there too. I assured her it would work.

She was concerned about missing me, but thought she could call me from school if that happened. She was very worried when I said that wouldn't be possible. The school would only call me if she were sick or had an emergency. She thought maybe if she told them she were sick. I discouraged this, speaking of the importance of truth. I told her she could call me every day after school and tell me how her day went. That seemed to appease her a little.

On Monday Lilly's school had an open house to introduce new students (and parents) to the school. Lilly was so excited! She put on one of the new dresses I got her for school, her new shiny black shoes, and frilly socks. Lilly had her mom put her hair in pigtails. She was ready by 8am. Mind you the open house wasn't until 4pm.

She spent her day here in the morning in nervous anticipation. That afternoon she was going through all of her school supplies and discovered I had wrote her name on her gym shoes - she had a melt down. I happened to be on the phone with Senator Harkin's office.

Timing, sometimes, is everything.

Lilly has now spent her first day in Kindergarten. She bragged that she ate her lunch all gone. Hot dog, broccoli and animal cookies. We received details how how they on their towels at rest time on the floor and it was kind of comfy. She played on the swings. And when she came here She said in amazement, "Every day will be this long"!

Yes, they will my little pal.

I miss you already.

Misery Loves Nobody

2010-05-11T00:43:00.005-05:00

I know that we are taught that misery loves company and it helps to share.
Interesting that I know that but I still refuse to join a support group or go to therapy.
I get tired of the pity and of being told how great my attitude is.
There is a senior citizen coffee held here at our apartment complex every Wednesday morning that I attend. They wait on me hand and foot. I am a bit embarrassed by it, but they are so sweet. I tolerate it to avoid their embarrassment. People my own age have too much too do. I can't keep up, even in my chair. I join the senior citizens and at least I'm not so far behind.
I relate to the senior group here. We take naps, do our best to hit the pool, and check the mail early so we can visit a bit. We speak highly of our kids and wish they would visit more. We also sit in our apartments and combat our loneliness. Funny since we are in the same enclosed living space. Our doors sometimes only feet apart.
Maybe misery doesn't love company.
I had the pleasure of a elderly acquaintance last week. She lives with her daughter here. We met over Lilly's art work. I hang her seasonal stuff on the door. They loved her Valentines heart and left us a Valentine letting us know. I receive a lot of sweet remarks on Lilly's art, but nobody seemed to want to discuss her snowmen with vampire teeth.
If you combined both of my grandmas you would get Marge. I haven't seen her for awhile. I tried to visit, but she tends not to wear her hearing aids when alone and does not hear me knock. She showed up at my door and realized, when I answered, she had forgotten to put her hearing aids on. She could not hear a word I said and came on in. I got to listen to her life story, a fascinating story of life through the depression and a world war. And I got to read a very personal email, the story she could not tell me - she is losing a child to cancer. No matter what age, moms are moms and the kids are not supposed to go first.
Marge also shared a few pictures. Most importantly one of her taken a few years ago. "This is the real me."
I so understood! Time and disease ravage our bodies. I know what I look like, but it isn't who I am. I don't recognize that person in the mirror with the sallow complexion, highlighted by the red mark highlights my cheeks and nose, and the dark ringed eyes peering back. So many times I have said, "I wish you could have met the real me." I have heard a lot of chronically ill people say this.
Next time, she she told me, it is my turn to talk and she promises to be able to hear me!

Since my last post I have married again. Rand and I 'eloped' for our 30th anniversary. Brother Rod performed the ceremony over the speaker phone. We exchanged new wedding bands and neighbors were quickly found to witness and photograph.

Sliding with Style

2010-01-08T23:15:00.003-06:00

Suzy will let me know when something needs my attention and a bit earlier this evening she did so. Suzy led me to our front door where she had pooed on the entryway tile. Not only that she managed to smear it for quite a distance as well. This was particularly odorous as well. Had a nice hang time for gagging quality.
It is not Suzy's normal act to do this particular function where she did. But she will only use her paper (kept in the bathroom) once and this naughty act in the foyer meant it was probably used. I wiped up with napkins all I could carry and headed down the dark hall to the bathroom.
I stepped into the bath and promptly slid about 4 feet on 1 bare foot. It was warm and it was wet. Suzy proved she could use her paper twice, but that the paper would not hold two wet spots.
I reached over and dropped my handful of poo into the toilet and grabbed some toilet paper to wipe up as much pee as I could. I dropped that paper in the toilet as well and flushed. Nothing happened. Still standing on damp ground and near exhaustion already, I flush again and the water quickly reaches the rim. I'm plunging for all I am worth and I was able to avert the near disaster.
I wipe the bathroom floor as best as I can with my favorite wipes.
With sweat dripping off of me and a bit out of breath, I limp back toward the living room. There I am nearly knocked over by the stench. I had forgotten I still had residue to deal with out here! As I once again put my favorite wipes to use, I am secretly praying that the stench has not polluted the hallway. I use an aerosol spray to knock down the rest of the odor. I pull out a mop and properly do both floors.
Now I am absolutely wasted, late on meds and I need a shower.

Now to the obvious. I haven't posted in almost a year.
There are some who try to twist my words, blind the truths, and use lies and fairy tales to expand on every word and all this is done to hurt the ones I love. I have learned that every word I write - anywhere - is being scrutinized.
I have not updated because of these morons, but because of the demon depression. I now update, because of the morons. They will not touch my freedom of speech.
In this past year......
I have fought with our insurance company to keep my meds up. I did have to switch to receiving all my meds by mail. Because of their clerical errors I now know how bad withdrawal is, repeatedly. The doctors fear this is too much stress for my heart and I am at high risk for a stroke.
I am still in appeal to receive SSD.
Sandra and Lilly moved here in May.
My sweet Lilly started preschool. I watch her while Sandra goes to school. Lilly and I would enjoy wonderful 'walks' to school in the warm fall sunshine. I in my wheelchair, her in my lap. Later I would come just a bit early to pick her up. I could watch Lilly play at recess and return hand in hand with her new best friend. They became best friends because their shoes matched.
That was before the move.
Rand at first and finally I, made the decision to move to a complex where I could swim year round. We also have a hot tub and sauna among other amenities. Our new apartment has one bedroom and one bath and a den - which looks a lot like a toy aisle at Target! Lilly can now watch movies in her playroom. We did put her toddler bed in our room for overnights. We have much more floor room here. Every room is an improvement and we have a deck bigger than both patios combined. I have also hired some one to do the major cleaning - dusting, bath, floors, etc.... I can no longer keep up and Rand does not have time.
One week before the move, Rob and Amanda got married. It was the most perfect wedding I have ever seen. Lilly was an adorable flower girl, who carefully placed each petal in its place. When almost to the front row, the crows gasped as it appeared she had began eating the rose petals. Actually, I had placed candy and nuts in the bottom of her basket as a bribe to get her down the aisle. I had told her as soon as she had all the flowers out she could eat!
Rob and Amanda were married by Rob's Uncle Rod. We were so blessed to have their family there! Rob even had a surprise speaker - Our 16th president Abraham Lincoln was there!
I danced all I could, fortified by my doctors for this event. That was the end of any walking for a few days - and well worth it.
Wedding Pictures:
From the pro: http://czechchickphoto.com
On the left-hand side, choose "proofing"
The password is "robanda"

Sandra spent some serious time in the hospital. Tests didn't prove it, but I am sure she had H1N1. She suddenly collapsed at home. Lilly got the phone to her mom and Sandra was able to call us.
Christmas was lonely this year. We had a quick Christmas Eve with Sandra, Lilly and Willie, rushing through it to beat the winter storm headed our way. Rob and Amanda were in Minnesota and trapped there as well. The rest of the time Rand and I were here enjoying time together. Stopped by weather and the effects of the storm front on me. We napped on New Years Eve through most of the evening.
I must brag on my wonderful husband. For Christmas he got me a Kindle! This has been a wish of mine since people even thought to invent them! As soon as I saw the word I burst into tears! From now on all future gifts need to be Amazon gift cards so I may buy more books! Classic authors such as Jules Vernon, Jane Austen, and my personal favorite, Bram Stoker, are free. I am searching for a Bible that I like with easy verse searches. I hope to complete a few favorite author collections like Kathleen Woodiwiss and Robert James Waller. The Kindle will hold 15,000 books! and I was able to begin use without instructions. The battery charges in a few hours and lasts a week.

BTW - for publications purposes, legal definitions, and clarifications: My Rand, My kids, My Suzy and My Camper and MY LILLY! A term of endearment. My Lilly as in My One and Only Grandchild! My sweet girl, My best buddy, and the light of MY life. I am as important to her as she is to me. I am, as Lilly states, her ''My Grandma''.
And if you truly loved her, why would you try so hard to find fault in our lives and then, All you can find wrong is a two letter pronoun??
You can't even keep her safe in your world.
Once again:
Please, just walk away and let Lilly be free from the HORROR that is you and your life!

My Bad

2009-03-13T12:18:00.001-05:00

I am soon leaving to have a heart stress test.
On Friday the 13th.

keep kicking while they're down

2009-03-11T05:40:00.005-05:00

Rand has been flunking blood tests. It started with one, then became three, that number was multiplied as well. Interestingly enough, it is all very low readings.

This led to his MRI of last Friday. They scanned his brain looking for a pituitary tumor. To their surprise, they did not find a tumor, but did find white spots. throughout the brain. They said this was something they would normally find in someone with high blood pressure - Which he does not have.
He is being referred to a neurologist.

Last Wednesday evening, I realized while showering that I had no feeling in my right leg from the knee down, and a call to brother nurse Jeff and we were both concerned of a possible blood clot.
Off to the emergency room at Mercy. After a two and a half hour later, I'm still in the waiting room. After asking at the desk, they said it would be another 5 hours. My final exact words were, "Fuck this, I prefer to die at home."
We left.
Our next stop was a convience store where we purchased a bottle of asprin. I swallowed three. There was a measurable relief.

So at the wee hours in the morning on our way home we then encountered a drunk driver. We immediately called 911 and did our best to keep 'up' and 'out' of this drunkard's way. We followed him through Des Moines, Johnston, onto the interstate and back into the city of Des Moines, and no where could our 911 operator locate an officer to stop this man. No squad cars in the area was repeated over and over again.
We watched and narrated to the dispatcher as he weaved back and forth across multiple lanes. Bouncing from one curb to another sending clouds of dust and bits of cement flying. He landed on top of medians, the edge of several ditches; at one point I screamed even startling the 911 operator. This unaware drunk almost creamed himself on the Des Moines river bridge.

By this point the dispatcher has tried to contact two townships, county and state police. We are alone on our quest as "no one can be found".

We end up this chase on the 2nd Ave. exit. Our inebriated friend did a 360 degree spin landing in a shallow ditch, facing out. To ensure this chase was ended, Rand pulled our van directly in front of his car.

I have by now, lost as much hope in our police as I have our health care during this long night.

I am fuming! I scream at the dispatcher, "Okay we are stopped on the exit ramp by the State Troopers station - Now can we get any police help?!" Rand has pulled our van in front of the drunk's car to block him from going any farther. He is in the ditch facing out. We are parked on the left shoulder. The dispatcher informs me that they are still trying to find somebody to help us.
The drunk who was seemingly lost in a daze for a bit seems to realize he isn't moving. He puts in in gear and rams us several times. He realizes he can't go and and puts it park again and dazes out again.
I am screaming at the dispatcher that he was ramming us, to no avail.
Our drunk buddy comes to again, looks at us, and opens his door. At this point we are hoping this idiot doesn't carry any weapons.
He gets out of his car and stands up - and down he goes.
He pulls himself up on his door with much effort. He pulls himself around to the hood and then with one hand on his hood he takes a step toward us and down he goes!
We watch and laugh as he struggles to pull himself up on his car again. Clinging to his car he makes it to the front of his hood. The dispatcher wants to know why we are laughing now. I explained he was attempting to approach us. They are still trying to find help for us.
Our drunk is now perched at the end of his hood trying to put all his effort into remaining upright. He has about two steps to make it to our vehicle. He pulls himself up straight and tall and takes a step. Down he went!
He pulls himself up on our van. Rand tentatively rolls down his window. Our drunk asks ever so nicely if we could move our vehicle so that he could get home. Rand is pretty pissed and asked him why he hit us with his car instead of asking. This seriously inebriated idiot is actually shocked to hear he ran in to us! He starts 'trying' to check our van for damage while apologizing profusely!
Rand and I keep trying to get him to understand that we are not moving. He tries to tell us he is just over a mile from home. He even offers a solution! We can follow him home to make sure it goes okay. Rand informs him that we have been following him for miles, it wasn't going okay, and we are not going to let him go any further.
We keep chatting with this guy, keeping hims busy, and finally the dispatcher lets me know that help should be there soon.
Within seconds we are surround by all sorts of police. State, County, and City. He's hauled off, his vehicle towed off and we, with a few minor scratches are on our way.

You're a mean one.....Granny Grinch! Language Alert!

2009-02-26T03:34:00.007-06:00

Sandra has a new post concerning the other "poor white trash excuse of a grandmother".

The preclude:
This woman was given the grace of seeing Lilly, even though the sperm donor has no visitation rights. Well there is a visitation order, but the sperm donor would have to complete drug rehabilitation therapy and test "clean" weekly and his roommates would have to test clean and he would have to pay child support.... oh hell, why don't they just say grow up, be a man, and at least act like you care!
It Starts:
It started to go bad when the other grandma showed up beating on Sandra's house for Sandra to answer the door. She wanted to see Lilly now!!!
Lilly was with me and Sandra was not in a position to answer the door and this woman actually scared her when she started going nuts and banging when Sandra didn't answer right away. Then she started calling her every few minutes non-stop while she was still at the house and when Sandra checked her messages - these were not done in a friendly tone. Sandra called us - we told her to call 911 and ordered her down here right away!
And the calling never stopped. For hours. Every few minutes an even angrier message.
In the beginning we wondered if she was drunk.
After awhile we decided maybe the sperm donor was behind it.
I decided my home had been interrupted enough and if he wanted his mommy to play - time to put this mommy into action.
Now mind you, this grandparent who has no rights under state law was given the GRACE of seeing Lilly and occasionally babysitting her - by Sandra. I even supported it, knowing how big my grandmother's love for Lilly is.
But the other grandparent was given two rules: Stay sober, no drinking at all
(funny story here about how SHE once was drunk and had Lilly at a pool and dropped Lilly in accidentally and fell in drunk behind her. Except for that's not funny. Sounds like a nursery rhyme meant to scare children and piss off the rest of us.)
and rule #2, don't let the sperm donor see her. Because not even the state of Iowa, nor anyone living in the state of Iowa who doesn't self-medicate, thinks thinks this guy is safe to be around her.

I discovered she broke the rules.
In fact, she bragged to me how she called the sperm donor over every time she babysat!
WASFB! (What A Stupid Fucking Bitch!) (By the way, she hates it when you call her that.)

So it was over.
She threw away the gift of seeing Lilly.
All this went down right before Christmas.
She has no sense of timing either.

Then sperm donor decided to sue for visitation rights. Couldn't go behind the law's back anymore to annoy our sweet Lilly. Lilly has complained to me in the past that Ryan (she doesn't like to call him Daddy), "flicks her and thumps her and won't even stop even when I tell him I don't like it!" Sounds like a bad play date doesn't it?
He has visitation rights, but he must want to skip the part where he has to complete rehab and stay clean. Somewhere I feel the need to throw in that he has a history of abusing females. Lilly's one. So is her mother and he learned that particular talent from his dad.
Interesting fact: Every time over the past few years when I ask the direct question, "Is your son abusing you?" she changes the subject. Not a good sign. I have had good reasons to ask plus a whole lot of my intuition.

I was feeling bad about this grandma not being able to see Lilly. It could be the sperm donor was forcing her to comply. I was actually working on Sandra to allow her to see Lilly under Sandra's supervision.
My bad.

Our first clue should have been Lilly's birthday. I was still asking Sandra to consider inviting the other grandma over that evening.
She blew that when she forced her way into Sandra's house. Yelled at Sandra, that she had the right to see Lilly on her birthday, went all through the house looking for God knows what. Sandra called us still shaking. We told her she should have called 911.. And to search her house, in case the reason WASFB went all through out the house looking through things (like drawers) was to plant some of sperm donor's evidence. But that would be giving this WASFB a lot of credit. She is not the brightest bulb on the tree.
I asked after all that -
what did she get Lilly for her birthday?
WASFB had announced to Lilly that if she wanted her presents (birthday and Christmas) she was going to have to come to her house to get them. What kind of a SFB of a grandmother doesn't at least give her grandchild a present after illegally forcing her way into their house? That much work to break the law and you didn't bring a gift?
I told Sandra time to lose her. There was nothing Lilly needed or wanted that we (collective family) couldn't buy for her. Lilly doesn't need their stuff. And they are not the kind of people we want to influence her and they have been proven by the state not to be safe for Lilly to be around.
Some time has passed and suddenly the other grandma asked Sandra and Lilly out to supper.
Sandra told me she has no idea why she said yes.

The Story:
An excerpt from Sandra's blog:
"We also stopped by [Grandmother] Jackie's the other day (don't ask). Lilly was finally able to open the presents that Jackie has been using to upset her in an attempt to manipulate me into letting her have Lilly. I mean, who tells a four year old that she has a tons of presents that she can't have unless "Mommy lets her come over to Grandma's house"? And then, when Mommy does finally let her go over and open her presents, she isn't allowed to bring any of them home but "you can come over and play with them whenever Mommy lets you". If she truly cared about Lilly having the gifts (the majority of which was from other people) then it wouldn't matter WHERE Lilly had them at! She did allow Lilly to 'borrow' one of her presents that she has to 'return' as soon as she sees Jackie again. "

Sandra described Lilly to me as a screaming, sobbing, snotty mess being forced to leave her toys behind. I couldn't imagine that kind of heartbreak as a child. At age 4 being given a whole bunch of presents and then being told they are not yours to keep. What cruelty!

I love Lilly so much I would give my life for hers.
I'd be willing to take a life for her too.

What kind of a stupid fucking parent of a sperm donor doesn't let a toddler have her presents? They are not even all hers to take. Other people who love Lilly left them for her.

You can burn in hell Jackie Nelson of Fort Dodge, Iowa. God really punishes those who hurt his children.

You stupid bitch, you are abusing Lilly mentally!
Maybe the sperm donor learned how to mentally abuse from you, not the sperm donor's father as you claim!

You broke the trusting innocence of a child.

I went from from happy to super psycho bitch on a total stranger in public. I caught her literally stealing candy from my, then toddler, niece Crissy.

I am so much more angrier now.

Lilly thinks you are very mean to do this.
Gammy Pam will make it all better.
With hope she will forget all about you and your evil ways.

I Heart You Not

2009-02-13T23:28:00.004-06:00

Sandra has a new blog and posted a paper she wrote for school:

Child Support Fraud Proposal

I posted this very long answer on her blog and decided to bring it - plus more and the topic here.

I would love to see a particular dead beat sperm donor (Ryan Lee Nelson of Fort Dodge, Iowa) offered the alternative of terminating his parentage in lieu of back support. But I know some think he should pay back support - no matter what.
But he should give up his parental rights - regardless of anything else.
He brags about being "paid under the table" and as far as the "government knows" he "only" works 1 day per week.
Seriously - a healthly white 30 -something child support owing male who can live on working one day a week?
He goes through this great "deception" just to avoid paying more child support!
What a sperm donor.
Currently he pays $50 A MONTH (wow) with an extra bonus of $10, a WHOLE ten dollars folks, in back support. Can you be so lacking of common sense (even in the depths of drug hell) to know and do what is best for your child?
Please, just walk away and let Lilly be free from the HORROR that is you and your life!
But, I dream.

Sandra proposes hiring outsiders to collect for a percentage of the lump sum.
I'm still fighting for SSD. If you hire a lawyer they get 30-35% at least of your past payments. They can present exactly what you have and but make the difference. I don't get it. Until I get an attorney, Social Security will claim I am getting better, even though all of my doctors wrote that I had multiple, untreatable, and incurable diseases, had already hit rock bottom, and was still sinking fast. But when faced with somebody who - can take a full third of the money I need to pay for my medications and help finish paying for my powerchair - Social Security will pay you a lump sum of what you’re owed.

Most of the time you aren't going to get a lump sum from a dead beat. They aren't going to have it. Maybe we need a financial backer, like our government, who will pay the back payments for the sake of the children, and go then after the dead beat sperm donors. Then dead beats could make their back payments to the government and be given another chance to be honest with the rest of their child support payments, having been forced to learn a hard lesson at required dead beat classes. If not, hopefully the government agency, created just for this, will use Dog the Bounty Hunter and Steve Wilkos to beat it out of them.
The government would be in a better place to collect from garnishing wages to taking tax returns. When they apply for a marriage license, the new wives should have to sign a disclosure to make sure they are informed of these guys’ current obligations. They should be made aware of how this could affect their future? family.
This could be a political platform for single moms. Why should the kids live in poverty (also using more social services the taxpayers must pay for) and why isn't the government really going after these guys for the sake of saving money on social services? The moms shouldn't be lost in a tangle of red tape. After a period of say 3 months of non-payment it should be an easy paperwork file for the moms.
And if a guy has six kids by six moms (insert your favorite number here) we need to discuss neutering or a hefty fine. This will be their choice, just as having the original sperm donating sex was - their choice.
Maybe the new "Scarlet Letter" should be a bright yellow D showing these men to be the yellow bellies they are for turning their backs on their children. The D representing the words: Dad (not!), sperm Donors, and Dead-beats. Why can’t we see the most wanted dead beats for our area posted in the post office next to the most wanted criminals? Maybe some business owner will have a heart and give the dead beats first or even second (gasps) jobs to make sure they can act like men and hold their heads high in front of all children.
(Feel free to fill in the terms of custodial and non-custodial parents here. I just used the majority rules.)

I Heart You

2009-02-13T14:04:00.000-06:00

I really thought I had posted a time or two since. Shows how my mind has been. I truly don't intend to ignore this blog. I do want to blog that real sense of travel through the middle ages, as I like to call them.
Obviously I have been very busy with Suzy. She understood at a young age that when Mom was on the computer, Mom was too distracted to notice what you where up to. Now Suzy is usually content to gnaw on a chew toy snug beneath my chair.

As the weather turns cool - my pain increases.
This winter saw a top spike.

Our insurance company implemented a new policy; I get my drugs from them or pay full price. This is your basic cut and dried extortion drive.

With their help my drugs were over $500 a month. So I certainly couldn't afford to pay the full manufacturer's full driven price gouging.

I take ten medications daily. I have 14 regular prescriptions going.

I have had to call each of the doctors and request this change. Some were right on board - even faxing my scripts straight to the insurance company. Others required me to make the foot work or making appointments $$$ to get my scripts.

In all the confusion, lost scripts, and with a 14-21 day turn around (not what they promised) I ended up not having three of my most major drugs and painkillers for two weeks.

I had the consequence of a very serious withdrawal the first of half of December. It was some of the worse pain I have been through.

Merry Christmas.

Plus, instead of paying for a month supply of my drugs I am now getting a three month $upply. Plea$e pay now.

Merry Chri$tma$.

Lilly and her mom were going to be spending the entire holiday season with us. I decided I was not going to be bedridden for this quality Lilly time. I asked my most favorite pain doctor for a way to enjoy the holidays. She agreed and I was put on steroids for the holidays.

The downside: weight gain - the upside: laughter with Lilly.
I had a great Christmas!

Before this entire fiasco with my meds my life was losing to the pain. My meds have been increased and I am having better days - pain wise.

I am also having a serious struggle with depression. My doctors have recommended I see someone. Our insurance sucks. I can't afford to see someone.

What I need is to see and/or to talk to people. Any takers?

Dad is out of the hospital for those wondering.
He had pnuemonia for those lost.

It's all Suzy

2008-09-18T04:12:00.001-05:00

These cool rainy days have left Suzy and I snuggling by the fire.
Pulling the large fluffy dog, upon which Suzy is snuggling into,
in front of the fire place was entirely Suzy's doing.

This sweet little hooded shirt was my idea.
But don't worry, Suzy is quite proud to get her clothes on.

Below the rain has finally let up and the sun has come out.
We are enjoying a siesta in the "Lilly Garden".
Suzy has on a pink bandanna here, doesn't show up well in the photo.

Today we did some needed shopping at PetSmart.
Suzy is moving up a halter size (no more cute pink prints)
and also snagged a shirt which reads,
"How come the cat doesn't have to poop outside?".

A Summer Missed

2008-09-14T04:56:00.011-05:00

I will try to do a short synopsis of how I spent my summer.

Lilly and I started out with plenty of together time and in June we were sharing our 4th or 5th bout of MRSA. Nothing like multiple open wounds to keep a person out of a public pool.
Having a constant infection did wonders for my other ailments as well. Lilly and I did 3 or 4 serious antibiotics rounds. We thought we were home free by the end of June - we both finished up free and clear at the end of the month.

Life was fun for about a week.

Rand then decided take a spin on the MRSA ride.
On a Monday, Rand started with a mysterious fever for a few days. Then his knee swelled up A LOT and doc said bursitis. The next morning (Friday) his leg, from mid calf to mid thigh was triple it's size and red. We ended up in an ortho doc's office and doc was able to draw a large amount of pus off of Rand's knee. I almost threw up. I am not nursing material.
That's how we found out it was MRSA.
By Monday Rand was hospitalized. This was very serious MRSA infection. He was at serious risk of losing life and/or limb.
Mid week they let him go home with a PIC Line and we got to administer IV antibiotics directly into his heart at home. This worked well until Saturday night. I reached over to touch him in bed (I was constantly checking him in bed) and he was burning up. I woke him up and discovered his temp was over 101*. I forced Rand to dress and rushed him to the hospital.
Emergency room tip - When you have MRSA, a pic line and a temp over 101* you get right in!
In 45 minutes time Rand's temp had risen to well over 103*. They removed his pic line and started running tests. The heart monitor showed the struggle in his body. Even I could tell things were going downhill with his heart. It was a long night. Rand was finally given a new PIC Line and a very new rarely used antibiotic. Finally his fever broke.
The doctors told me had I not detected his fever and brought him in, Randy probably would have died by morning.
He was off work over a month. Pretty devastating for a guy who has hone years witout a sick day.Almost every day off the week was filled with medical appointments for Rand.
He's back to his overworking schedule - against doc's orders. He was told to keep it light for a few weeks while he got his strength back.
And our finances are beginning to recover just in time for the medical bills to start showing up.

All this payed a toll on my body. Extra work load and over the top stress - I faked it for Rand's sake as long as I could. I was afraid to let him out of my sight for awhile. I finally relaxed and sat down and haven't got up since. I haven't found my footing yet.
My doctors wanted me back in therapy long term to cope with all of this and the fact that I lave lost so much ground medically this past year. Ground that can't be recovered. And to cope with the loneliness of being home alone.

I weighed everything out the doctors were telling me and took a chunk of my earnings from my 401k to pay for the therapy I chose. Therapy doesn't come cheap and insurance wasn't going to pay for My choice. Piss on them - I knew what I needed.

And a picture is worth a thousand words:

World's best therapist

Suzy Q - the Pug

Suzy Q is just what I needed. I'm finally off the couch and potty training! I'm playing and talking to her most of the day.
Suzy was 8 wks old when I acquired her. I researched all breeds and did a thorough watch of the local humane society for a few weeks- Meeting several dogs. What it came down to - Rand said I could get a dog, only if I was totally able to care for it by myself.

Thus a Pug was my perfect match.

Because of their short noses, they do not cool as effectively as other breeds and are susceptible to heat exhaustion and shouldn't be over exercised. (We are like twins!) They are "one person dogs" who love everybody. The main daily fixation for a pug is to be near the one that they love. And that is what I needed most of all.

Suzy is doing a great job potty training."The cat did it!"

As long as it is warm and dry out, she is good to go outside. Suzy dislikes going out when it is cool or rainy or there is too much dew on the grass. We are paper training inside as well. If she hates rain - she is really going to dislike snow.
It took Camper about three days to get over this new addition. They play quite a bit of the day and Camper has even toned up a bit.

And my two best girls love each other!

I'm alive

2008-05-29T01:55:00.004-05:00

On the month-a-versery of my lack of blogging I thought it only cursory to check in. I have been fighting a nasty infection and doing some major Gramma and Lilly time. Add in some a few savage Lupus/RSD flare ups - I had nothing left for blogging.

As for Lilly: Her mom had finals and then straight into a summer school. Lilly and I are getting in some quality time in. I called it Camp Gramma.
First lesson is how to steer a trike. The thing is learn when to stop. Then learn to pedal for distance. I taught these carefully in this order because of a tragic accident resulting in 3 stitches in my lip when I was a toddler. I still recall it. I was headed toward the basement steps and was panicked because I didn't know how to steer. My mom is still amazed that it never crossed my mind to stop.
I've learned the most important thing about a trike ride is how many quality dandelions can you pick. Our grassy areas are beautifully maintained. The dandelions are few and far between. Lilly will be riding along on her trike curls bouncing along and suddenly slams to a stop. She has spotted a cluster of dandelions. Lilly squats down and studies the four or five flowers. She is not greedy, she will only pick one flower from each little set of flowers. I ONCE tried to help her and pick and additional flower and Lilly screamed at me, "No! Not that one! That's not THE ONE!
Mind you Gramma's walking limit is less than two blocks, but we pack a lot of nature in those two blocks.
Our new favorite movie to watch every day, thanks to neighbor Chris, is The Water Horse.
I love watching it everyday - it's that good people. Now go buy it!!
The Water Horse is also Lilly's favorite new hairstyle.
I would love to throw something into her hair, to help keep it out of her eyes, every day.
Lilly would prefer her hair never be combed again.
But with her love of the water horse, she wanted horns. I turned it into a hair style for her. Positioning small pig tails on the front top of her head. Lilly's natural curls complied perfectly and she had her 'horns'. Lilly requests the water horse look often.

Lilly and I went shopping for her patio garden. I told her she was going to help me pick out flowers. It took about 15 minutes of me telling her to "stop that" before I realized what she heard was we were going to pick flowers.

I have a bazillion more Lilly stories and quotes. Every moment of every day - she is amazing.

The infection: Just to reiterate from the previous post like a month ago....It started on my left shoulder/chest wall with what I thought was a boil, and then a cyst, and one weekend, it got way out of control. I was running fevers and the red of the infection had spread into my shoulder to my neck and down into breast tissue. With Lilly in tow I went as soon as the clinic opened on a Monday morning fully expecting I was going to lanced and that was the doc's decision.
When they laid me down on the exam table I used my jacket over the foot pad to build Lilly a tent. She was so busy playing peek-a-boo with the nurse she had no idea Gramma was under the knife.

There were two surprises in store for us.

There was zero drainage - nothing wanted come out. I did have some really good bleeding.
When the decision was made to remove a small mass. It couldn't be done. It was too deep and they didn't want be too invasive until the infection was cleared up some.

So I was put on a kick ass antibiotic and told to return in two weeks.
In two weeks time the infection was cleared and the original incision healed. time to reopen.
This time I left Great Grandma home with Lilly.
I was opened up again and a biopsy was taken. This little procedure qualified me for two internal stitches and six outer stitches, and an appointment to get them removed in ten days.
Exactly one week later I am back - with infected stitches. The decision was made to to take my stitches out early - Lilly got to watch. (She loved it!)
This time a culture was taken to identify the infection.
I was put on two oral antibiotics and one topical antibiotic.
The biopsy showed that all of this started with an infected hair follicle.
The culture showed I have MRSA.
I have had two more skin eruptions this week and I am out of antibiotics. I called my doc and I get to stay on antibiotics.
It is possible I was infected by Lilly with her outbreak. It was just laying low for awhile and/or I was was ignoring some serious symptoms and only my OCD qualities kept me going.

As far as flares, I have come to accept that I need a walker and a scooter if I am to have any life at all. I seem to lose a little bit with each flare.
I have also learned that our giant sucking (Blue Cross Blue Shield of Illinois) health insurance will not qualify you for a scooter if you can walk at all using a walker. So I must choose the one that will give me the most life back. The scooter, and then hope I will be qualified to have one.
A walker may help me in the parking lot, but it will not get me through the mall. Or through the zoo, a museum, the walking tour of Living History Farms (something I love dearly), or just trying to go on a nature walk with my granddaughter.
I would like to have a walker and even "test drove" one I loved. But at over $150, it will have to wait a time. Just co-pays the past couple of months are hitting harder let alone all the new drugs.
I did splurge a bit on myself while at the medical supply and purchased a new cane. It's a beautiful hot pink!

After further testing, I don't have diabetes.

Rand and I really splurged with our government rebate. We both had eye exams. Rand had a mild prescription change. Mine was a more of a change. He opted for new lenses for his beloved frames. I got new glasses and for the first time, sunglasses. I can now read while sunning at the pool this summer!

And just for Kara and Dianna - I'm sorry I couldn't be there for your special days, but you will be receiving a little something special as soon as I can get out!

So, now that I'm awake

2008-04-29T05:46:00.002-05:00

April has been a rough month. Whether my discomfort can be placed on the weather or not...is anybody 's guess. My pain has increased. My sleep pattern is sleep until the pain wakes you up and then sleep some more.

I finally got re-enrolled at the Wellness Center last week. My enrollment is for the pool only. The Wellness Pool is kept at 92 - 94 degrees.
I'm quite sure this will be the temperature of Heaven. As you enter, you can just feel the pain melt away. Their exercise programs are mostly geared for senior citizens and I fit right in.
I tried out a few classes and have settled on Arthritis I - pretty much the easiest one there is. I have a long way to go.
Really shows how hard this last setback has been. A decade ago I was teaching water aerobics - at all levels - including high intensity. Now I'm trying to keep up with severely arthritic senior citizens.

Miss Lilly is doing Camp Grandma while Mommy gets through finals. We went to the Wellness pool together Sunday.
Yesterday, I went first thing to the clinic. I have what I though was a boil on my left collarbone area. It was showing signs of infection, I have been running low-grade fevers, and it was really hurting! I decided this thing needed lanced!
I just did a walk-in to see my favorite PA. I built Lilly a fort with hospital gowns - she was happy. They numbed me up a bit - I was happy. My PA cut into the cyst and nothing happened - no drainage. Now she wasn't happy.
Whatever this cyst is it is deeply embedded into my tissue, is infecting the tissue around it and the PA could not go any deeper. She hooked me up with some strong antibiotics and said to stay out of the pool. Now I'm not happy.
This intrusion now has my shoulder red and angry. Lilly and I came home and played Pajama and Movie Day. We were both happier!
I also have an appointment in two weeks to get this thing really removed. Time to go change the band aid - joy.

Camper and the box

2008-04-03T16:40:00.003-05:00

Our cat Camper wanted outside on a very nice day not too long ago.
I snapped her outside rope to her halter and connected the outside rope to a wooden box we use as a side table outside.

I had just stepped inside when all hell broke loose!
Almost instantly, Camper spotted a squirrel on the ground only a few feet away. She took off in a hard run in the direction of the squirrel, which knocked the wooden box over.
This made a loud BANG! which scared Camper and she ran even harder from the loud noise, squirrel was instantly forgotten.
Camper was now running so hard she was dragging the box. This made a vary loud racket as well. When Camper turned to check out that noise she saw the box following her.
She panicked and took off across the grass with everything she had, and the box continued to follow!
Rand was also in pursuit at this time and he was just adding to Camper's panic!
Camper finally rounded a corner and stopped. To her delight nobody followed. Rand gently eased around the corner and was able to capture her. He unhooked from her pursuer and brought her back inside.
The only noise left was the bark of a very angry squirrel who continued to bark for several minutes following all this.

One very embarrassed cat
who won't go outside now.

April 3, 2008

2008-04-03T16:34:00.002-05:00

Today is our 28th Anniversary.
Yeah, it was bad weather on our wedding day too.

It is really starting to flood now.
We were surrounded by tornados on our 1st anniversary.

I think this rain is starting to look "thick".

Taken around 2:ooPM

April 3, 2008

2008-04-03T16:32:00.001-05:00

The rain has turned to snow.

Look at the size of these flakes!

Taken at 3:30PM

Even my muscles are crying!

2008-04-02T23:14:00.002-05:00

It all started when I got grossed out by the kitchen floor this morning.
So I swept it.
Than I dug out my Shark steam cleaner and floor attachments and "mopped" it.
Super clean floor and no chemicals!

My original model doesn't seem to be available anymore, if something happened and I had to replace it I would get this one. I have all the attachments and can clean any surface. It has a larger than most tank so you can clean longer! I steamed cleaned the kitchen sink and garbage disposal after I was done with the floor. I have owned this steamer for years and love it!

Then I moved several pieces of furniture and rearranged the living room, Lilly's room, and dining area.

Rand helped me rehang pictures when he got home. By then grasping a hammer or walking anywhere with it - wasn't an option.

I do use leverage and for the largest piece "Moving Men" sliders. On smaller things I work a rag rug underneath and then pull on the rug. Most things will slide pretty easy on the rug.
Rand and most of his relatives, don't understand why I move things at all.
"Put it where you want it and leave it alone." Their sofas still sit where they put them 20-30 years ago.
Rand used to really hate it when I rearranged when we were first married. Me moving a piece of furniture was always a guarantee that he would protest. Rand trying to point out that his mother doesn't rearrange furniture is what made it a guaranteed fight.
I finally gave him an option. I pointed out that I NEED change. It is in my genetic make up. I can't help it. I told him that I can change the furniture around from time to time or I could change men from time to time. He has never complained about me moving furniture around again and has even become quite helpful!

I come from a clan of folk who welcome change and question why things are the way they are. We are always looking for a new way.
Our family tree can be traced back to the chipping out of the original round wheel. The others, dragging their stuff around on their rocks, just made fun of us. "Waste of good hunting time!" they said.

You can do something good the first time.
You can only do something better the second time.

Dad was back at the doctors. After a short scare - he didn't have a blood clot in his lung - he is home recuperating again. He does still have pneumonia. He has had a few more small cardiac scares which his nitro tablet has helped.
Rob and Amanda are having much fun throwing the word fiancee around.
Lilly and her mommy will be paying this Gramma a visit this coming weekend.
Willie is soon starting at a local Landscapers.

Easter 2008

2008-04-01T11:41:00.002-05:00

All dolled up!

Check out that ballerina toe!

Easter 2008

2008-04-01T11:36:00.000-05:00

Lilly was finding eggs, but hadn't found her basket!

2008-04-01T11:30:00.000-05:00

Lilly in Pippi Longstocking mode
Dressed as Pippi while watching Pippi.

2008-04-01T11:13:00.000-05:00

Lilly hanging with Gramma

2008-04-01T11:09:00.001-05:00

Caitlyn Veronica Gookin

visiting Gramma Pam

Mommy goes shopping

2008-04-01T03:19:00.000-05:00

Lilly the acrobat

2008-04-01T03:10:00.001-05:00

Lilly has a keen sense of balance

It's her dismounts we need to work on!

waiting

2008-04-01T03:00:00.000-05:00

The fairy princess waits for news

And she waits

All is well

Supper is ready!

Back and White and Simple

2008-04-01T01:42:00.010-05:00

I got this in an email (Thanks Jack!) and had to share it.
It was especially poignant to me, having just had a birthday week and all!

Those were the days my friends
We thought they never end
We'd sing and dance
forever and a day......

Black and White

(Under the age of 40? You won't understand.)

You could hardly see for all the snow,

Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go.

Pull a chair up to the TV set,

'Good Night, David.

Good Night, Chet.'

My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs, and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning.

My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter AND I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in was paper in a brown paper bag, not in icepack coolers, but I can't remember getting e. coli.

Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.

The term cell phone would have
conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA

We all took gym, not PE...and risked permanent injury with a pair of high top Ked's (only worn in the gym) instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. I can't recall any injuries, but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.

Flunking gym was not an option...even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be much harder than gym.

Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention.

We must have had horribly damaged psyches. What an archaic health system we had then. Remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and everything.

I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself.

I just can't recall how bored we were without computers, Play station, Nintendo, X-box, or 270 digital TV cable stations.

Oh yeah...and where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed!

We played 'king of the hill' on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of Mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn't sting like iodine did) and then we got our butt spanked.

Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a treat.

We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either because if we did, we got our butt spanked there and then we got our butt spanked again when we got home.

I recall Donny Reynolds from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front stoop, just before he fell off. Little did his Mom know that she could have owned our house. Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for being such a goof. It was a neighborhood run a muck.

To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that?

We needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes? We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that we didn't eve notice that the entire country wasn't taking Prozac! How did we ever survive?

Love to all of us who shared this era, and to all who didn't...sorry for what you missed...sorry for what you missed. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Pass this to someone and remember that life's most simple pleasures are very often the best.

the Gathering

2008-03-31T05:48:00.000-05:00

An Announcement

2008-03-24T16:04:00.005-05:00

We are pleased to announce
the engagement of
our son Rob & his beloved Amanda.

Rob proposed on Easter morning
using an Easter basket
full of goodies!
He did get down on one knee (awe!).

To Quote:

"I love you more than Gummi Bears!"
*This was heard at the Easter dinner and
may or may not have been during the actual proposal.*
A date is yet to be decided.

When it rains, it pours......

2008-03-19T00:39:00.004-05:00

Saturday
We spent Saturday moving Sandra out of the halfway house and into her new home!. It is such a big deal and we are so proud if her for making it through treatment to this stage!
Yeah, I am feeling the move big time!
And luckily, I have nothing to do Sunday but rest!
I call the folks around 10pm. It is a bit late to be calling them, but I had news of Sandra and Lilly's adorable new home.
The folks are already in bed. Dad sounds so odd when he answers I immediately say something to Rand about it. Talking to Mom, Dad is chilled so bad he is shivering. Not running a fever though. I'm very worried about him.

Sunday
It's about 3am or so and Dad attempted to get up. He falls about half out of bed. Mom tries to help him, but Dad only ends up on the floor. She calls little brother (and nurse) Jeff who only lives a few blocks away. Jeff gets Dad in bed. Dad has no limb function and is incoherent. They call 911.

Two ambulances, two firetrucks, and one sheriff later....Dad's blood pressure is approximately 70/40, he is still incoherent, and running a fever of 102.5. They call Life Flight. Unfortunatly they are unable to land in this small town's ball field due to the mud. Our snow is finally melting.
An ambulance races Dad to a hospital. Jeff follows behind with Mom. He never is able to catch up with the ambulance. I have been Jeff's passenger when I have been the emergency and I know how he drives. I find it unreal that he never caught up. That ambulance was booking.

By 6am I finally hear my phone beeping missed call. Mom doesn't call in the middle of the night unless it is an emergency. I call Mom as fast as I can. Dad has had several tests, including a Cat Scan of his head. Chest x-rays show that he has pneumonia. He is regaining function back in his limbs, but is still very incoherent. His blood pressure is up a little, but still very low. They will be admitting him.
I am unable to walk at this time. The move has hit. My gut is telling me I need to wait until Dad is at least put into a room before I push my body to anymore limits. There is nothing I can do. Mom has Jeff and now my other brother Jeff and two nieces with her as well. The ER is very busy and they do not need "guests".
8am and the hospital is filled to capacity. As soon as they can they will move him out of ER.
10am and no room is available yet. Dad is a bit more focused, but his short term memory is still shot.
11:30 am Mom calls. She says there has been an incident involving Dad. I'm sorta praying hard here that he hasn't died.
It seems he was resting more comfortably, so our family went to the waiting area to give him some peace and quiet. At some Dad was awake when a nurse came in and asked if he was hungry. They left him sitting on the edge of his bed alone with his tray. Dad promptly blacks out and lands on his head on the floor. Luckily, he hit his tray on the way down and that noise alerted staff. Otherwise Mom night have found him that way first. She found staff still doctoring his new injuries as it was. He pretty well got scalped a bit and bummed up his left knee and shin.

He earned himself Cat Scan #2 in the same morning.

I, of course, am done waiting. Rand and I head to the hospital instantly upon hearing of dad's injury. BTW it is noon and still Dad is not moved to a room.
Dad's head is hurting so much he doesn't even know his knee is injured.
The most embarrassing part of this for Dad - is when I point out that when his head and knees are on the floor, his ass is in the air and all he is wearing is a hospital gown. And that is how they found him.
All Dad can remember is seeing a lot of feet and people yelling at him to stay down. In his confusion he decides to fight that advice. He took two of them up with him.
Dad's short term memory remains lost while we were there. He has a few more episodes where his blood pressure drops quite low and he suddenly becomes more unresponsive.
2pm Dad should be moved to a room very quickly now.
2:30 Mom finally loses it in the hallway and takes it out on the staff.
Understandable, but I jump in to rescue them when she begins yelling to people being rushed in off the ambulances that they shouldn't come to this hospital. I calm her down and let her know that all ERs suck. Not just this one.
4pm Dad is settled into his room. It was somewhere about here we learn his kidneys are not functioning well.
Almost 12 hours from his ER arrival to a room. Injured in the ER to boot. Health care here is a joke and we're not laughing.
The exhausting is hitting everyone and Dad needs his rest - we all head home.
Sandra and Lilly arrive here. Sandra is very worried about here grandfather.

Monday
Sandra spends the day with her grandpa. I stay with Lilly. Lilly's week long fever seems to have finally broke. By evening Sandra is really trying to hack up a lung.
Dad seems better that morning.
By afternoon is blood pressure is falling rapidly and he is complaining of chest pains. So they add a few more tests to his ever growing list.
I convince Sandra to spend the night for her health's sake. Lilly and I took an ill timed evening nap. In our defense - we really needed it.
I also suggested Lilly stay here. Sandra has been struggling to get caught up with her studies. She missed quite a bit with Lilly's battle with MRSA. Now with her having this chest crap and my dad being sick. Let Lilly stay here. She can rest and get caught up on her studies. If something happens and she is needed here - Lilly is already here.

Tuesday
Sandra was up early and headed back for school.
Miss Lillian and I stayed up until 2am watching videos. We end with Annie. We sleep in late. Eat, shower and dress. Lilly is in a great mood and temperature free since late Sunday, so we head to the hospital.
Lilly knows that Great Grandpa fell and saw the photos I took. Lilly does take dance and tumbling. I explained to her that Great Grandpa was trying to do a "tuck and roll" (somersault) and missed. Lilly said he should have used a mat. Lilly was so concerned over Great Grandpa I figured it would do them both some good to have a visit.
And it did.
Dad was headed down to another long test so we head home.

So far the educated guess is that Dad had a TIA Sunday and a heart episode on Monday.
More to come......

Manners by ThisBearBites

2008-03-15T01:37:00.004-05:00

As a spring approaches and everyone wants to go outside a play.
It is time to remind everyone the rules of ThisBearBites' playground:

nobody keeps score - ever
everyone who wants to gets to play
no name calling
everyone has a good time

Should anyone break these rules, the game is over. Should you be the cause of someone's hurt feelings you will be sent home.

Calling all friends and stalkers!

2008-03-14T08:13:00.002-05:00

Sandra is moving into her apartment tomorrow. Right now it looks like Rand and I are doing it. All of her things are here. Her furniture. Her dishes and pots and pans. And silverware. Everything she needs to get settled.Even a good portion of Lilly's toys are here.
I have been overdoing all week trying to get everything organized on this end. Right now at this very moment I am in trouble. I can't get my body to do what I want. Like get up. I just want to sleep.
I think I am going to have to use my walking cast. My feet, legs, hips are all on strike. the cast will help one foot.
Willie was supposed to be helping me yesterday. He was here.
He was supposed to be this afternoon as well to help Rand load all the furniture from the garage on to the moving truck. He called sometime in the middle of the night. He was puking his guts out. Doubt if we see him today.
He was also supposed to go up and help unload as well.
Lilly got sick yesterday. She has a virus and running high temps with it.
Shortly after Willie called, Sandra text me. Lilly's temp had shot up to 105.6. I called her right back and insisted she go to the ER right away. Sandra wasn't sounding to good. I'll bet she gets sick today.
I haven't heard from anybody this morning for an update on health. God knows if Willie shared with us. They have the stomach bug going through their workplace.

Come one and all!

2008-03-12T01:52:00.005-05:00

I believe all blog for a reason. I have ran across a few who prefer to keep theirs a more private affair, but it rates in the 'very rare ideas' realm and maybe you should just keep it on your hard drive and do be sure to back up!
Most of us are out here screaming, "Look at me! Look at me!". I was visualizing this cry as the small child who calls out to their parent. The more siblings you have the louder the cry must be.
I do nothing but blog about my day, the joy I find in granddaughter Lilly, and add in some family history from time to time. I can offer support to those who need it in the way I handle my Lupus, RSD, Fibro, and etc. on a daily basis.
There is nothing I love more than an audience.
A captive audience is even better.
The trick is in finding the audience.
And out here in blogland, we have a lot of siblings to compete with. Are all my blogs noteworthy? No. But the ones I'm really proud of I want to be sure get their audience. I have a good sense of humor and I know how to use it!
I'm using Buzzfuse.com to accomplish this.
Buzzfuse is there for the biggest advertiser and for the simple blogger. It is a free service to all. You have the option of signing up for their premium service to make money from your newly increased traffic. If your site is a business, that's a win-win situation.
They create the "buzz" for you and the final result is increased traffic to my site.
Business, blogs, photos, song - share your talent with the world!
Nothing I love more than telling a good story, even better - is getting someone to listen!

Old Bear - no new tricks

2008-03-11T23:08:00.002-05:00

Today I wiped out.
It's been coming. I have been over-doing for a few weeks now and haven't taken care of myself like I should. My biggest faults are not taking appropriate rest periods and lack of a schedule. I need to take a nap or time out in the middle of everyday. Even my healthy eating have taken a backseat to life lately. I let the pain lead.

Yesterday I decided to deep clean our closet.
The first thing I did wrong was deciding to clean our closet. According to my body this was to be a full day of rest. I even knew that the day before. But I ignored my body and bright and early dumped the contents of the closet all over our home.
After a couple of hours my left foot was screaming for a break. I obliged and sat down with a bottle of water.
A couple of hours later I awoke in the exact same position as if I had just sat down. Water untouched.

Rather then take this as a hint to slow down, I only thought of the lost time and hit the sorting of stuff even harder. A few hours later and again the foot screams (it does has a stress fracture brought on by my Lupus) and I sit. This time I wake in less than an hour, but I am also startled that one again I went right to sleep as soon as I sat down.

By this time I am starting to reload the closet. I get this project done. and I am surrounded in every room by piles that aren't going back into the closet. I decide that this is a good place to take a break. By this time we are pushing onto the supper hour. I sit with the same, yet unfinished, bottle of water and instantly fall asleep again. I awoke with less than an hour before Rand gets home. I transfer piles as fast as I can and and throw some potatoes into the microwave. (We had leftover meatloaf - I do make the best meatloaf of - oh....ever!)

I spend the rest of the night in the too sore to rest mode.
Finally at 4am this morning I get some sleep. When I arise for my 6am meds, I discover I am desperately low and clear out of some. I make a list and go back to bed for a couple of more hours. I take it easy for the morning. Just some light picking up. Really!

I take my noon meds and head to my favorite store to get my needed refills.
On the way there I break down in tears. I realized this is going to be my first visit as a non-employee. I pull myself together and go in.

I decide I don't want to shop in a handicap cart. Bad choice.
I needed to pick up my refills, a few Easter supplies, and new sheets for Lilly's room. I get stopped at sheets. For a very long time. I can't make up my mind. I'm almost in panic mode. I literally come to a brain stop. Part of this new fog I can't shake. I'm not indecisive. I know what I like and what I want. At least I used to.
I end up spending way too long on my feet. I finally pick up a sheet set, of which I am not fond of when I get home. I think I'll keep them anyway. As a reminder to quit trying so hard. It doesn't always make a difference or really matter in the end.

Rand is here when I get home and we settle in for our movie of the week. Which I sleep through half of. Oh well, he enjoyed it.
And he let me sleep through all of the afternoon and most of the evening.
That is going to help my schedule.
I still have a few piles to deal with.
And I'm out of oranges.

Little Red Riding Hood

2008-03-11T00:01:00.009-05:00

Breaking away from the toddler world of Lilly, I am amused to to find in one of the economic headlines that Experian is suing LifeLock.

A government monopoly (WOLF), Experian has been plying on our (LITTLE RED) innocence. Experian has an issue with LifeLock (WOODSMAN) who can open our eyes to the truth and protect us.
Experian's issue with LifeLock is not so much as they say; Stepping in where they have no authority. (GRANDMA'S BED)
It's is more like LifeLock is taking Experian revenue. Experian, keeper of our livelihoods (BASKET OF GOODIES), sells our information for profit. (Looks like they are the ones caught in Grandma's bed.) LifeLock stops that.
Experian claims that they can do everything that LifeLock does for free, but the truth is they can't and won't. LifeLock is out to protect our interests, for a profit - they freely admit and we openly pay; whereas Experian is out to exploit for a profit; whereas we are exploited and we get to pay it.

Rand (especially) and I have been the victims of identity theft before.
Rand had a cousin who would regularly use his similar appearance and Rand's name to keep his own record a bit cleaner. Didn't last forever for the ne'er-do-well cousin.
To top that: there is another man in the area that shares the same name as my DH. This other person has a very colorful past, is well known to credit bureaus, law enforcement, and is on the sex offender list.
So, while Rand has innocently been trying to accomplish life - the other individual's past keeps showing up and setting up red flags for us. Only if businesses share why there is a red flag - can we then explain.
We have had our banks accounts tapped into. But banks will blame you for that - our old bank did.
We tried years ago to fix mistakes on our credit records, but it would be easier to potty train the cat. (I've been thinking about trying that with Camper.) I might have better luck with LifeLock.

PEZ

2008-03-10T01:17:00.003-05:00

It all started innocently enough almost a year ago with kindly neighbor Chris surprising Miss Lillian with a Minny Mouse PEZ dispenser. And she loved it! And Lilly shared her candy generously but fiercely protected her dispenser. We were able to obtain refills at a neighborhood store and all was well.
Then came Christmas and Miss Lilly received a plethora of PEZ dispensers. Most noticeably from Santa - an entire collection of the Disney princesses. And the supply of PEZ refills seemingly dried up in our area.
This was the first visit that we actually could not provide such a simple treat for her and it was hard for Lilly to understand why not.
This afternoon Rand and I visited several stores and none had PEZ refills. In serious frustration we came home and went to eBay. We ordered an entire box, or 2.9 lbs of PEZ for Lilly.
Now, we are not running out for many months to come!
As a new shirt of Lilly's states: My Grandparents do not spoil me, they are just very accommodating.
For the record her Minnie Mouse dispenser is still a favorite!

Through Lillly's brain

2008-03-08T21:22:00.004-06:00

All week everyone has been after Lilly to put put things away.
It is one skill we cannot seem to get taught.
Just a few minutes ago she did it!
I had just read her a flap book that happened to contain cupboards with toys put away.
Minutes later Sandra gave her a soft cookie that seem to disappear too quickly.
Searching for the cookie, we did find it put away in the cupboards.
The cupboards in the flap book.

I bought Lilly a Dora underwear and tank shirt set. She declared the shirt to be her bra. She wore it for a few hours and then put it on my dresser. She has seen Gramma throw hers there a few hundred times and obviously Lilly thinks this is where they go.
Later that evening Lilly came out of my bedroom, carrying my bra, which had made it to the top of the dresser by this time - it was touching me.
So here comes sweet petite little Lilly carrying a bra so long she almost tripping over it, with cups large enough for her to sit in, and ever so innocently asks, "Gramma is this your bra or mine?".
It's so hard for us girls to keep our things apart you know!

Lillie's favorite thing to cook for you in her little kitchen is pickles.

Today Lilly and Anna went to Kidfest accompanied by their mothers. Lilly came home with tattoos covering the length of both arms.

Sickbay

2008-03-05T00:08:00.005-06:00

Our home is a virtual sickbay this week.

Lilly's third antibiotic has done the trick. Her MRSA sores are all finally healed and non-oozing. At this point she cannot transfer the disease. The sore on her lip will not leave a scar with time. The smaller outbreaks on her body never opened and are fading. The original sore on her leg will leave a small scar. It did have to be opened and drained surgically by the ER. Currently, it is a hard lump under a bruise about the size of a dime. Considering her whole thigh was involved and this disease was ravaging through her, I am very grateful for her coming through this so well. Her skin is once again soft and smooth.
With thanks again to Soapouri! When in her allergic reaction to antibiotic Lilly was covered in an burning red rash. Her Soaporri soap would do so much to sooth and calm her skin. There is much blamed being placed on not only the over-use of antibiotics and germ fighting soaps. After my umpteenth battle of my own Staph infections I quit using germ fighting soaps. Finding such wonderful soaps that are so pure and beneficial and soothing.....having Lilly scream for me to hurry to get her soap on her skin.....why aren't you using it already?
Rand got a back rub tonight using the body butter and Lilly then demanded her own!
Lilly's mood is slowly improving. Being she is three, this may be as good as it gets.

Sandra had all four wisdom teeth surgically extracted on Monday morning. Rand drove her back to Fort Dodge very early Monday morning for the procedure. Yeah, we had a snow storm going on. Again. Sandra is doing very well. She is having some quality jaw pain, but that is to be expected.
Her worse symptom seems to be hunger.

We have been passing the time with a major movie marathon. I have picked movies for everybody. Rand and I joined our new neighborhood Family Video to give Lilly instant-pick treats. Sorry, you can't do that with Netflix.
I introduced Sandra to Breakfast at Tiffany's.
Lilly has a new friend named Pippi Longstocking.
I have One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest waiting for Rand to have time.
Don't worry, I have As Good As It Gets waiting for me.

I want to apologize to all who have missed my attentions - it has been quite hectic around here and Lilly has been rather demanding!
My computer is acting up, my new videocam isn't working right, and I think my router is giving up the ghost.

Disclosure

2008-02-29T18:00:00.006-06:00

This policy is valid from 29 February 2008

This blog is a personal blog written and edited by me. For questions about this blog, please contact randypam@mchsi.com.

This blog accepts forms of cash advertising, sponsorship, paid insertions or other forms of compensation.

This blog abides by word of mouth marketing standards. We believe in honesty of relationship, opinion and identity. The compensation received may influence the advertising content, topics or posts made in this blog. That content, advertising space or post will be clearly identified as paid or sponsored content.

The owner(s) of this blog is compensated to provide opinion on products, services, websites and various other topics. Even though the owner(s) of this blog receives compensation for our posts or advertisements, we always give our honest opinions, findings, beliefs, or experiences on those topics or products. The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the bloggers' own. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider or party in question.

The owner(s) of this blog would like to disclose the following existing relationships. These are companies, organizations or individuals that may have a significant impact on the content of this blog. We blog about people to whom we are related. The most interesting such people are: Grandkids. We have a financial interest in the following that are relevant to our blogging: PayPerPost.

To get your own policy, go to http://www.disclosurepolicy.org

My One Thousandeth Post

2008-02-29T18:00:00.003-06:00

My 1000th post was not this one. I just realized I missed it!
The winner is Don't Eat That!.
What a great post that was to receive such an honor! One of my personal favorites and starring Miss Lilly!
Today we hit 40 degrees and then some! Lots of snow melted! Nobody was wearing coats! There is actually rain in our forecast. People are smiling!
Spring must be coming. I hope this isn't a trick. If Mother Nature turns on us now people are going to start snapping.
And Happy Leap Day!

I'm cooking turkey and noodles!

2008-02-29T17:23:00.001-06:00

Rand is on his way to pick Lilly and her mom up for a week long stay. We are having Lilly's most requested meal.
Sandra is on Spring Break and the real celebrating will start Monday when she has all of her wisdom teeth extracted.

Lilly had to go back to the emergency room yesterday. She does have MRSI. She had another boil breakout. This time they didn't extract, it is on her face. They were worried about scarring. She is now allergic to Bactrim as well. She broke out in a rash the covered ever millimeter of her body. Lilly has been started on a third antibiotic. I'm going to feel a lot better after seeing her!

a feeding frenzy

2008-02-27T16:14:00.010-06:00

One of my fondest memories while getting to to know the new in-laws (28 yrs ago) was accompanying my FIL Bill to feed the fish. I was a farm kid, but quite honestly, I thought he was pulling my leg when he invited me to help him feed the fish.
Bill had a fairly new pond he had stocked with a variety of fish. He had just added a few hundred cat fish which he fed to provide extra support.
Rand, Bill, and I drove to the "big" pond as it was called.
We got into a small row boat with a five gallon buckets of dry fish food pellets. When we got to the middle of the pond, Bill said, "Watch this!" He threw out just a few handfuls of pellets.
The water all around the boat begin to churn and we could feel all kinds of knocks and bumps on the bottom of the boat. So far, this was good enough to be the start of a horror movie!
The small fish began to break the water's surface.
A catfish is an ugly creature no matter what size.
These ugly little fish were about the size of my hand. They held their whiskered mouths open above the water line in hopes of catching the smelly brown pellets.
This whole thing was quite a learning process for me and just good plain redneck fun!

If you are a land owner and would like to find online items like fish food - pond style, a good place to look would be the H&R Business Mal l.
The Hunting & Recreation Business Mall is a wonderful resource for your quality outdoor needs.
From feed to animals and the big toys, you'll find it here.
By the way, forget a handicap scooter. I want one of these!

paid for by Game Feeder

Good news and bad news

2008-02-27T15:52:00.005-06:00

The good news is my brain MRI shows everything is normal. I have not had a stroke.
The bad news - All the problems I am having are either still related to the withdrawal I suffered from or Lupus.
*my brothers now regroup to come up with new evidence to support their case*
The bad news is my foot Bone Scan show hot spots in both feet. A stress fracture in my left foot. And more bad news - that is just the way it is going to be.
It seems this is the Lupus effect for my feet. The doctor built a support to help my left foot heal (hopefully). He had to build a support because I am unable to wear a structured shoe due to arthritis, RSD, and the steel plate in my right foot.
I sorta win (good news) with a no go on being stuck in expensive orthopedic shoes. Of course, it is a lose that I can't wear cheap cute shoes either.
My feet like Birkenstocks and Crocs. Mostly they like being barefoot. In the sun. While floating in the pool. And extremely gentle foot massages.

I'm really wiped out from yesterday. I was out in the weather (we were having a snowstorm with ice) for all of the appointments. The cold really did me in.
So far today:
I have gotten dressed.
Did laundry.
Ate something.
Got the garbage ready to go out.
Cleaned up a couple of drawers.
Did a load in the dishwasher (cleaned the kitchen)
My masterpiece:
Screwed up my computer so bad that I no longer have email. You might want to text me. I'm almost ready to put in a panic call to Rob. I am really dead in the water. I tried to download all new and my computer won't even open the file. Help! This is really bad news! I don't even know if this is the only problem. There may be more.
I should of took a nap instead.

Battle!

2008-02-26T23:19:00.011-06:00

I love that line from the movie Michael - "Battle!" Just the very thought of it gives me an adrenaline rush. I have always loved a challenge. "Battle!" makes you want to grab your weapons and go ~~after your brothers~~ or um....other people. There's a bit of hunter in all of us. It's genetic. We all fight our battles, whatever they are.
We even will jump in and help others with their battles.
You. Know. You. Want. To.
Battle!

Dear hubby Rand has been putting money aside for a new toy ( weapon) for a long time. I have secretly added to his till to help him reach his goal, though I'm not thrilled with his choice of weapon....so far... It's a wife's prerogative to help him change his mind! (But I'm such a good wife to help him reach his dream!)
I feel his choice has a bit of "limited use" - given the various limited hunting seasons.

I have often thought that Paintball would be a great new sport for him. He'd love it. You get to carry a big weapon and shoot things....like targets and people! He could even shoot his siblings, who just happen to be brothers, in a safe controlled setting! (You know - Mom's timber!)
I have even found the ultimate place to buy accessories...... Ultimate Paintball.
Ultimate Paintball is the ultimate online paintball store for all the top name brands for paintball fun: Tippmann, Spyder, Smart Parts, Dye, Empire just to start the list! Any gear you need for the fine sport of paintball can be found here.
The Tippmann 98 Custom looks like paintball gun Rand would enjoy. Maybe someone can tickle Santa's ear for that one.
Pay Attention my female friends! This isn't about men buying for themselves....They are the hardest ones to buy for! Ultimate Paintball offers everything for their paintball needs. The best brands of guns, gear, ammo, and parts; everything for paintballing can be found in an easy one stop. No need to drive all over town and pay these gas prices. No dealing with salespeople who's knowledge of the sport is that the paintball supplies are in the aisle next to basketballs. Ultimate Paintball is a top online paintball store of paintball supplies and they also offer the best prices!
Oh yeah, the shipping is free. Free shipping available? - That sounds as good as "Battle!" to my heart!

I've already bookmarked the page into his folder. (Accidentally of course!)
Father's Day is right around the corner as is Rand's birthday.
And for those Santas who like to get a jump things? Christmas is only 308 days away!
This year Santa will deliver paintball supplies, what HE really wants, right to your door for free!

paintball supplies

I'm watching you!

2008-02-25T19:04:00.003-06:00

Camper watching me in the kitchen.

And in other news......I hate Yahoo. I'm not even going to link to it. I have been a Yahoo user for years. I love Yahoo messenger. Yesterday I upgraded my messenger and totally got locked out. I asked for a new password, changed my password, more times than I can remember.
This afternoon, I reached the end of my rope. I deleted everything Yahoo from my computer.
I then went to download messenger all new. Not only am I on - I'm on with my original password. Makes no sense.

I had to get some meds refilled. While at my favorite Target I filled out my final paperwork and cleaned out my desk. I said a lot of goodbyes. But not really goodbye. I'll still be in to shop. I will get to see my friends there. I'm not quitting. I'm not a quitter. This is okay. It will be fine. I'm okay. Breathe. Don't cry. Breathe.

I bought a video cam. Now everyone (and Lilly) can see me - if they are on Yahoo! Come talk to me! Lilly has already got to see and talk to Gramma.

Camper has gotten way too curious to what I buy. I was exhausted and sore when I got home. I set my packages down and went to sit on the couch. It wasn't too long before I had to get up. Camper was going through all the sacks and getting stuff out and knocking it to the floor.

Lilly will be here all next week. Sandra will be on spring break. Sandra will start off the fun by having oral surgery. All her wisdom teeth are coming out. I will get to care for both of them.

Breaking news:
Lilly has fought sinus trouble, ear infections and sever eczema flares since last October. She was constantly just getting off Augmentin and having to go back on again.
Her ear has been infected and draining for a few weeks now with nothing helping to improve it.
Sandra took Lilly to the doctor on Friday. It did turn out not to be chicken pox - or her eczema flaring last week. We found out she has an allergy.....to Augmentin.
Sandra took Lilly to the emergency room tonight.
Lilly had scratched one of her mysterious spots.
It became infected. Today the, now large, abscess started growing and swelling. Pretty soon her whole thigh was getting involved.
Sandra braved the icy drive to the ER. (Yes, we are in the middle of another winter storm)
Lilly got her thigh sore drained. Sandra said a lot of goop was in there. Lilly had to be held down while this was going on. She put up an appropriate amount of fight and screaming.
When it was all done, Lilly sat up, quit crying and said, "That hurt!"
There are concerns it is MRSA. We will know for sure when the cultures are back in a couple of days. Lilly was put on Bactrim.
My poor baby!

Lilly and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

2008-02-23T18:30:00.002-06:00

It started with a chilly wet wake up for Lilly. I can't tell you how much she hates that. She came crying to my room early this morning absolutely horrified.
I stripped her down, washed her off and tried my best to get her to crawl into Gramma's warm bed for a quick cuddle and to warm up. No go.
She was also pretty mad about being pushed out of bed. When I asked who pushed her, Lilly replied that Mommy did it. Mind you Mommy is about an hour and a half of interstate away.
So much for stealing a few extra minutes in bed for Gramma.
Her mood was set for the day. No movie was the right one, no activity or game. She requested a grilled cheese for dinner and burst into tears saying, "That's not what I wanted!". She then told me she had asked for noodles.
I thought this was getting to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day myself.
Then came nap time.
We slipped of the edge of horrible and landed on the brink of hell.
Nap time was a bitter failure. I admit it - there were tears - but I really needed that nap! And every time I fell asleep, Lilly woke me up!
Evening was a an obvious train wreck in the making. With a new added detail. Lilly was breaking out like mad - her eczema started covering large portions of her body and some suspicious raised blisters formed. Rand and I both agreed - this resembled chicken pox.
We treated of all Lilly's symptoms as best we could.
In spite of not having a nap, Lilly managed to stay up well past her bedtime.
By this time she had my full sympathies. I forgave her mood for the day. It's hell when every inch of your body hurts. We spent the evening cuddling on very soft blankets and eating oranges, a mutual favorite of both.
Rob and Amanda gave Lilly a bunch of books for her birthday. One of the books was Alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. It is among one of Lilly's favorites and she began to identify with it this week. I lost track of how many times it was read. Lilly is doing her best to say - horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day.

Our week together ended with Sandra's arrival on Friday afternoon. Lilly had said all week she didn't want to leave me. But I knew, and she did, a few hours ago. I cried again.

Kara reads Lilly a story.

2008-02-21T00:07:00.000-06:00

Welcome to my dot-com!

2008-02-17T15:42:00.004-06:00

With Rob's major assistance I transformed into a dot-com. You need to do nothing new, you are sent automatically.
It has been awhile since I have posted. My last post was about my very good day. It turned out to be only one day. That took some dealing with. Losing hope is a hard hole to climb out of. All these crappy weather patterns don't help. I have had some very tough days.

I have come to a difficult decision. I am going to apply for permanent disability. I knew this day was coming but I had hoped to put it off until I was 52. Why 52? I don't know. That was just a number that I was comfortable with. I feel like I am quitting, giving up on myself.
But I cannot not keep up with the household duties, or on the bad days my own basic hygiene.
I have tried to lie to myself and call it an early retirement, but that label doesn't fit.
I can't keep up. Naps are mandatory.

This week I am proving what I'm made of.
Lilly's sitter had a family emergency. Because of the snowstorm Rand did a late Saturday evening pick up. We have Lilly for the week! Lilly shows no sign of homesickness and every sign of being three years old. Gramma is not three, but luckily (so far) I'm still smarter!
Next up: How to avoid bedtime.Cook them snacks in my play kitchen!

I find it amazing how much kids personalities grow with each turn of the year. Lilly now not only gets humor, she expresses it as well. Her motor skills increase, her memory, and her own sense of style. Which is why she wore bright pink rain boots to the Dr.'s office today.
Here we had just finished making our cookies and were starting on lunch. This was her "dress like Gramma" day. A pair of ffuzzy old pants and her well worn thermal shirt has a hole in it.
Below is her birthday present from Anna and Ashley. This incredible blue "Cinderella tutu". From trucks to tutus - she is always uniquely Lilly!
The tutu works just as well while worn over a blanket sleeper. "Here Camper Kitty!"

I'm walking on sunshine!

2008-02-03T07:59:00.000-06:00

My mood music - Play it!

I had a great day yesterday!
Woke up, got out of bed - with no real problem. Everything was feeling pretty good. Walking seemed easy. I did some much needed housecleaning. Other than tiring out pretty quickly, it didn't go to bad. I was able to finish what I started.
Have I turned a corner in my health for the good? Or did spending last week sitting with my feet up as per doctors orders do it? Add in a small warm up in the weather. I set multiple alarms to insure I would take my meds correctly. Something went right!

Today, I'm in more pain, I will keep today as a healing day from my antics of yesterday. I pondered yesterday quite a bit. I haven't felt that good since the summer of 2006. And you couldn't wipe the smile off my face yesterday!

Camper lost String a few weeks back. She replaced it with Ribbon, but she just lost a bit of her enthusiasm. I found String cleaning yesterday! Camper was like a cat on catnip she was so overjoyed! We played quite a bit with String yesterday.
Camper even brought it to bed with us last night.
This cat has her own small toy box full of catnip toys. Nothing beats String. It is the elastic string that is used to tie new shoes together. It was love at first sight. Camper snatched it as soon as I cut it off the shoes. String is pushing a couple of years old. This year we did add Wrapper to it. She kept stealing my starlight mints just for the crinkly wrapper. I tied one to string and made the perfect toy even better.

Rand and I bit the bullet and upgraded our cell phones yesterday. Not the best timing budget wise, but too good of sale to pass up. We upgraded to MOTORAZR² V9m. We are "keepers". We find something we like and stick to it. We can't outgrow this phone, the steel design means it is tough enough to withstand us, and the insurance means no matter what - we will have our phones. We checked - even if we drop it in the toilet - we get a new phone. A deal Sandra could've used a few months back.
They talk about not driving and talking on your phone. We advise not potty training and talking on your phone.
Sandra can talk on her phone, but that's about it. My old phone is the better of Rand and I's old phones, so Sandra will get my hand-me-down and gain more functions once again.
Time for our Sunday morning ritual. Fresh brewed coffee, cinnamon rolls straight from the oven, and the Sunday paper.

We won't be participating in the ritual called "Super Bowl", the mind washing of millions.

Instead, we will continue our Starsky and Hutch original series marathon. Maybe switch over to the Firefly Rob and Amanda got us for Christmas.

Welcome February -- Hurry up March!

2008-02-01T11:48:00.000-06:00

Tough pain morning here.
Haven't managed getting dressed yet. I did take off my foot dressings. As soon as I can manage I'll go tackle the sticky remainders with a bit of baby oil.
My foot still hurts.

Sandra and I fight Lilly's hair almost continually. It is so hard to manage.
I think I have found the problem.
I have been bathing with the Dr. Suess method of "One Foot Out and One Foot In" method using the tub in "Lilly's bathroom". Keeping my foot wrappings dry. I used Lilly's baby shampoo to wash my hair last night. I had a EUREKA moment this morning. My hair was, and still is, standing on end. It's dry, poker straight, and everywhere. It looks like - *gasp* - Lilly's hair!
I'm going to switch out Lilly's hair care products here.

I am so freakin' sick of winter.
Even my houseplants are suffering from SAD. I need warm sunshine for my body to heal. And a swimming pool, and another nap.

And it was cold and snowing

2008-01-30T20:33:00.000-06:00

I went back to my foot doctor yesterday. The MRI showed nothing. The doc was really surprised, her was expecting to see a neuroma.
He still feels there is nerve inflammation there. And he is worried about a past bone scan that showed hot spots.
I received another dose of lidocaine and the added bonus of steroids. These were both injected into the top of my foot for the light of heart squeamish out there. Between the 3rd and 4th metatarsal near the nerve in question for the brainy bunch. (Near the toes between the bones for the rest of you)
The only time I screamed was when he sprayed cold stuff to numb it. I really can't take the cold.
The entire appointment took a few hours. Starting with the desk staff put my file in the wrong spot. I was engrossed in a magazine, I wasn't clock watching. So over half an hour past my appointment they remember me. Do all the usual wait on the doc time, intern time (I love interns!), new x-rays, shots, and the icing on my cake: I got a splint that presses into the bottom of my foot and a nice taping job that holds it in place. This is to relieve the nerve from any pressure. I am also supposed to stay off of it. Other than the fact that the bottom of my foot is really pissed, no real changes in my life.

This looks good on Amanda

2008-01-30T20:32:00.000-06:00

Lilly meets Caitlyn

2008-01-30T20:20:00.000-06:00

Lilly, her dump truck, and ballet bar

2008-01-30T20:14:00.000-06:00

Lilly didn't want to smile, but did agree to a posed pout.
But then, in spite of herself, broke out in smile!

Lilly @ 3

2008-01-30T19:28:00.000-06:00

Pictures if Lilly's 3rd Birthday

I Need a Bigger TV

2008-01-30T01:13:00.001-06:00

I need a bigger TV in our bedroom.
On occasion, I would like to watch television in bed, given I am blessed with a few conditions that make that necessary. Especially with weather like we are currently having. Nothing like a huge weather front to start up a flare!
The reason I need a larger television is due to my hearing loss.
She's finally gone a bit touched in the head they'll say.
I have suffered from tinnitus for a many years. Ringing in the the ears. Mine rarely sounds like ringing, but more like locus.
Beyond that little annoyance, this year, I have noticed the other sounds, not the locus, unfortunately, growing more muffled. There's another blog there someday.
I am using the close captioning so I can enjoy my favorite shows without blasting the entire neighborhood. As for other things in the real world, I just smile and nod. ;)
In our bedroom I can't see the close captioning well enough to read it. In fact there seem to be lots of little details I can't quite make out.
New bifocals are needed, but the last time I got new glasses, seriously, a new TV would be cheaper. And being home on disability doesn't pad the pockets.
I was blessed with finding Zenni Optical!
ZenniOptical.com Sells Stylish Prescription Glasses Online.
You will find huge selection of frames, with single vision lens, sun sensor (photochromic) lens, tinted sunglasses lens, bifocal lens and progressive lens. The Secret to Zenni’s Low Prices is that they sell only their own manufactured frames direct to the customer, with no middlemen and virtually no advertising budget. I can pick up a pair of glasses here for less than half what I paid for my current pair. There are so many frames to choose from and to easily fit every budget.

Zenni Optical: Sell Rx Glasses $8 with case!

This is the future of eye glasses.

Coming soon - hears to me ears and my achy breaky feet.

This post is sponsored Zenni Optical

Don't Eat That!

2008-01-27T02:08:00.000-06:00

One of the most spoke phrases during Lilly's reign of toddlerhood. Don't eat that. This is closely followed by: Get that out of your mouth. Give that to me. Don't touch that.
You get a feeling that Lilly at three is outgrowing these trends, but is only still practicing for our reactions.

Today, her reactions were priceless.

She started by taking a healthy nibble of my butter bar.
She did a bit of gagging on that one.

Later, we were doing laundry and I asked her to throw the lint from the dryer away.
She suddenly started screaming, "Get it off!". Lilly came running to me to show me a tongue covered in dryer lint.That one was pretty funny! She has been taking care of lint for me for years and she just now decides to taste it?

Tonight in a very onary mood in the bath tub, Lilly grabs the bar of soap and takes a pretty good bite of it. Before I can react Lilly grabs a cup and is trying to rinse the soap out of her mouth by pouring soapy water on her tongue. I grabbed her wash clothe and wiped off her tongue and teeth.
Following her bath, I was greasing her down with vasoline and Lilly attempted to take a bite of that as well! Believe it or not, she found that extremely unpalatable as well.
At the very least she will be outgrowing this behavior since her palate has!

Here she is!

2008-01-19T00:07:00.000-06:00

World meet Caitlyn Veronica

Caitlyn was also 19.5" long

She looks perfect from head to toe!

And look at that hair!

Uncle Rob and Aunt Amanda get to introduce themselves.

I have got to see many more pictures of the beautiful Lady Caitlyn and every experienced mom would agree: This is one sweet tempered baby! I can't wait to meet her! Dibs while I'm in the room! We do need to see some pictures with Mom and Dad. And we women need to hear the whole gruesome play by play story. Even though Rob did a pretty good job at that.

It's a Girl!

2008-01-18T18:32:00.000-06:00

Congratulations!

Eric and Renee, as of 6:05pm this evening, are the proud parents of a baby girl.
Caitlyn Veronica
7lb 10 oz, 19.5 "
Pictures will be posted here as soon as I can get them!

I got them!

What a sweet baby!

Another Day in Paradise

2008-01-17T23:37:00.000-06:00

It's a bad sign when they won't talk to you on the phone.

Go ahead and play the song, you will enjoy it! And it will be the perfect background music to my update. I promise.

Monday
I ended up getting very ill from the MRI contrast. It was a very long night.

Tuesday
I over did. It makes me mad over how much I didn't accomplish, but still managed to push my self over the edge. Willie helped. In reality I let him. And he staying with us for a few days to be closer to his work.
What's on the other side of over the edge?
A grand mall migraine complete with puking.
And the timing was poetic.

Wednesday
I wake up after another very long night. I've missed a couple of doses of all of my meds. I'm weak as a kitten, white as a ghost, and ready to face my first day back to work at Target. Yes, you read that correctly. I was making my triumphant comeback.
I had to do a lot of bargaining with my doctors and I am allowed to work one day a week for 4-6 hours. I bargained them up from 2 hours a week. They bargained me down from 3 half days.
The first thing I needed to do was shower. Get some color in my cheeks and imagined puke out of my hair. I walk into the bathroom and hear the shower start in the next room. Can't shower at the same time. His shower captivates the majority of the hot water.
Willie - 2 , Mom - 0
I wash my face, brush my teeth, and flush the toilet for good measure. I like listening to the screams from the other bathroom.
Willie - 2, Mom - 1
I use my cosmetology skills to look good, feel better and hide my illness. I don my red and khaki colors of honor.
By the time I get to my office, I'm ready to go home. I'm tired. I end up spending six hours on my first day. My brain hurts. I go home over spent with another mounting migraine. I spend the evening in darkness and sleep steals me from the pain.
I woke up in bed this afternoon with no clue of how I got there. I've missed a couple of more doses of meds.

Thursday
I am dizzy today. (I hear my brothers chuckling) My head still hurts.
The last thing I remember is talking to Ashley around 5:30pm. I awake/return to consciousness around 8:30pm. I'm cold, in pain and sprawled out in a strange position. It appears I was getting up and passed out. The loveseat broke my fall. The good news is my head feels better. And I missed another dose of my meds.
In afterthought, I'm not going to worry about the dizziness and fainting until I am taking my meds correctly. I know the hard way what loss of a needed drug can do to me. If it still continues when I am correctly taking everything, then it is time to alert the doctors.

I have saved the best for last.
I had a message yesterday to get hold of my foot specialist. He needs to meet with me concerning my MRI results.
It's a bad sign when they won't talk to you on the phone.

This is the topper to a very hard week. I know I am facing another surgery; that will likely involve the word tumor. And hopefully the word benign.
The worse part in my head - Dear God, I really, really, don't want to be cut again.

This is not my best week.

Life Plan

2008-01-17T02:52:00.000-06:00

"Decide what you love to do best, then figure out how to get paid doing it."

I have to write.
I love to put my thoughts on blog.
I like telling people about things I love.
These love things include family friends, pets, neighbors (at least I love to write about them!), ideals.....and ideas.
Ideas.
I have millions of them floating through my head. I absolutely adore when something new and brilliant comes along. A light bulb goes off and an idea is born.
Somebody had a thought. Their thought becomes reality. Our lives can be forever changed. It can include the simplest of new products that make our life easier, cleaner (a personal favorite), or be as big as the technology that changes the world in a moment.
I love to share here when I find something that can change lives. We are in this race of life together - why not share what we know. Maybe it's a bit like 'Pay it forward'. But.........
No matter how
small or how
BIG.

PayPerPost started out somewhere as an idea. It offers true opportunities to those who touch the world in their own little way by sharing their own ideals and ideas in the space of a blog.
Personally, I think PayPerPost is a great idea. Advertisers merge directly with the consumer. Fellow bloggers and readers, the consumer, learn through word of mouth.
I decided to sign up after watching other fellow bloggers talk about their earnings. Bloggers I have followed for years. A few of them decided to give this a try last year. I'm watching on the sidelines on how easily this works for them and it does not compromise their blogs integrity. And I am awed at the creativity that goes into their posts!
Most importantly: I get paid for telling you about these wonderful things while sitting in my my absolute favorite, very ancient nightie. Maybe, I will use my first paycheck to buy my next most favorite nightie. ;) (This nightie is getting very close to the end of usability)
That's right, I'm making money in my pajamas! PayPerPost, count me in!
I am being paid to write. I am very excited!

A Great Place To Be

2008-01-15T10:04:00.000-06:00

I just sat down to check my email and dear friend Bec sent this. It is perfect - Thank you!

Old Age, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.

I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set .

They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)

Happy 3rd Birthday Lilly!

2008-01-14T23:02:00.000-06:00

Today sweet Lilly is officially three! Lilly hits this birthday in perfect three form.
Lilly is a perfect, small person - who now completely understands. She is in control and can make her own decisions.
In reality she is allowed to make the only some of the decisions, the rest, we grown-ups still make - but don't try to tell Lilly that. This is an argument you will lose!

Sandra had a very nice birthday party for Lilly on Saturday. It was ballerina themed and included music, dancing and tumbling, pin the tutu on the ballerina, a ballerina slipper pinata, and a beautiful cake which included a twirling ballerina!
I have no good pictures. Rand was using my camera. The batteries died after the third shot. All are rather out of focus. I some great video of Lilly dancing, Lilly and Anna dancing, to Lilly's favorite song. Which, I have no way to download at this time. I am working on it.

Lilly was quite uncooperative with Sandra on her wardrobe. Might have been due to her cold. It is probably divine wisdom. Sandra had at least got Lilly to wear a princess costume for a bit. I convinced Lilly to wear the tutu Sandra had wanted, but it was even short lived. Lilly is now three and has full control of "No! I do it!" which includes her choice of not dressing for her party.
Lilly was attired for most of her party in a white turtle neck and a pair of white tights. She had a nice bright red streak of impetigo running under her nose and across her cheeks from wiping her nose on her sleeve. Her hair a mess. That's my girl!

I was very unprepared as far as my equipment.
Rand worked some Saturday morning. He was getting off early. He was to be home shortly after 11am we were to leave shortly after 12pm.
I laid down for a quick, much needed nap, (bad pain night) figuring he would wake me up when he got home. Giving me plenty of time to dress and finish gathering up my stuff.
My mistake. I tried to apply logic to a man's actions.
Rand came home, showered, and dressed up very nicely. He decided to wake me, at 12pm!
I was in my pajamas and its time to leave! My pain levels affect how easily I can dress (usually not easily) and even what I can wear on most days. I have a lot of beautiful sweaters and lately I find most of them too rough for my painfully sensitive skin. Even yarn size is an issue. Me getting dressed: "No - it's touching me!". Try on another. Continue until something works. What works can change during the course of the day.
Cameras were a second thought once I was in the Buick and Rand went back inside for them. So we left quite unprepared digitally.

At the end of Lilly's birthday party, while others were cleaning up, Lilly and I worked on her nose. Her little nose was so sore she was refusing to blow. I had Sandra bring me a snot sucker. Lilly was always quite fond of them as an infant. Seriously. She would giggle while you used it on her. The funny sucking noises always delighted her.
She was a bit shy of it this time, her little nose being so sore. I told her it was a bugger catcher. That impressed her. We spent a great deal of time catching buggers and checking the expelled buggers out on the tissues. We even had Anna greatly entertained with this.

I picked her up to kiss her and say goodbye. I told her it was time for Gramma to go home. Lilly asked to go home with me. I told her Mommy probably wanted her to stay with her. And Lilly hugged my necked and asked ever so soulfully, "Please?"
So, exhausted from her party and growing sicker with her cold, Lilly went home with us.
We also got to escort Anna and her mommy, who's car decided to die up there. We dropped them off at their home and then home with Lilly.
We had supper watched a movie, and Lilly had a bath with her newest baby - a ballerina water baby named Twinkles. I was up most the night with Lilly, her cough was so much worse when she laid down. I held her on my chest sitting up so that she could sleep more peacefully. Lilly and I finished our visit sleeping through Sunday afternoon until Grandpa woke us when it was time to take Lilly home.
I don't mind a bit caring for Lilly when she is sick. Anytime with Lilly is quality time. I was seriously done in from the trip and party. Quality cuddle time worked. And I'm sure it has the same effect for Lilly. Gramma spoiling while your sick? That's as good as it gets!

I was up and out very early this morning. Dropping off the paperwork that will allow me to return to work. I am starting at one 4-6 hr a day per week. That is over some of my doctors recommendation of 2 hours a week. I actually want to be useful.

I returned home and learned I got to have an MRI on my left foot - today. Which is how I spent my afternoon. I have a new doctor for my foot. My treatment is so much better in just a couple of visits, I actually have hope of getting rid of my cane this year. But for right now things are not looking great. My return to work may be short lived. I'm pretty sure I'm facing foot surgery in the near future. there are a couple of spots of concern. Possibly a neuroma, that will need to be removed near the toes.
And they have found an anomaly on my third metatarsal at the other end of my foot. Seems to be spooking the doctors because of my bone tumor a bazillion years ago in my right foot. That involved the third metatarsal as well. I am not too spooked. What are the odds that I could develop bone tumors in both feet in my lifetime?
The MRI went with my usual flair. More than one poke, a vein blew and I got to feel the extra pain as the contrast then formed a hard burning lump as it flowed out of the blown vein and into my body. They restarted with better results. I have felt very ill this evening. I assume it is a side effect of the contrast. Joy.

2008-01-12T05:41:00.000-06:00

I lost my glasses

I need them to read just about anything anymore. I need them to be stronger. I need a style I am happier with. I need them found. I blaming Camper - she likes shiny things. I need new reading glasses. Did you find them?

2008-01-12T05:03:00.000-06:00

Creative Gramma

Lilly has an assortment of bandannas she uses for her babies. Quick diapers, blankets, etc. She wanted me to tie one on her. I decided to create her an entire outfit. I see a trip to Hobby Lobby in my future for more bandannas! She refused to pose for a photo.

2008-01-08T22:22:00.000-06:00

Lilly bits

Lilly at three
A week from today, Lilly will turn three.
Three is the age of, "I do it!".
Lilly's party will be this Saturday up north. Email me for details.

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder
We were taking a potty break together.
Mind you, I have to argue to use the big potty every time.
She wants to use the big potty and wants me to use her potty chair. I argue that Gramma's joints won't let her go low enough for the little potty. And then I pick her up and move her because I am done arguing. When you're middle aged and have given birth, there is not a lot of pre-potty discussion time available.
One particular potty run, not too long ago, Lilly and I were finishing up and she suddenly exclaimed in awe, "Gramma, your underwear is so beautiful! They look just like mine!"
She quickly reached into her miniature jeans and pulled her underwear up to her chest to show me.
She was wearing a white pair of padded toddler potty pants.
I was in my white granny panties.
But in Lilly's eyes, we were both beautiful.

Personal Chef
Lilly grabbed a bottle of water out of a newly bought package and brought to me. Lilly said I couldn't have it yet, it wasn't ready. But she would get it ready.
Lilly took the bottle to the fridge, opened the door, (a new skill) and put it in.
She checked on it periodically through the day.
A few hours later, clutching this bottle she came running to me, all excited and proudly exclaimed, "Your water's ready! It's cold now!".
I took from her, took a long drink, and declared it wonderful.
Lilly was so proud!
Lilly loves to cook in her kitchen and help me in the kitchen whenever possible.
This was her first "solo" project.
And I got to be her recipient!

Pennies from Heaven
Lilly's favorite type of music is currently Jazz. During Christmas season, the Elf soundtrack filled her need beautifully.
I play a lot of different types of music and she's loves it all.
When Lilly requests her Jazz songs and when that music starts playing there is no stopping that little munchkins body! Lilly's feet are a moving, her hips are swinging and her face is pure joy.
I have tried to capture this on video - but to no success yet.
Camera on = Lilly off
Lilly's favorite bedtime routine with Gramma -
We dance to slow music. She wants "up" and with a giant embrace, Lilly lays her head on my shoulder. We sway in the darkness to the music. When I lay her on her bed, she is soothed and secure and goes to sleep very quickly.

Putting it in perspective
Lilly's doll Suzie is a major computerized annoyance.
She out performs Baby Alive, or Cindy as Lilly has named hers, by a long shot.
I found myself many a late night, having accidentally awoken Suzie, going nuts trying to meet all of this dolls needs and tolerate all the playtimes.
Suzie was quite vocal if she requested, for example her bottle or bear, and this need was not met. The mothering instinct in me runs so strong I would do everything I could to make this doll happy.
Yes, I cannot ignore the cries of a baby, or a doll.
Sandra reports Lilly has caring for Suzie going better than even she or I could manage.
Lilly tells Suzie, "You are going to sleep now." and then she reaches behind the doll and shuts her off.

2008-01-08T02:15:00.000-06:00

Trying to exercise
...........my brain!

I have not weighed in on the current political scale. (admit it Rob - that's a good sentence)

I am reupublican. I feel a bit ashamed to say I am feeling the Obama sway. The shame comes from the shift in loyalty, akin to a cheating spouse. I am a strong supporter of our current president, George W. Bush. Now, everyone stop and say a supportive prayer for our president and our troops.

In no particular order.......
A recipe for a good candidate:

Obama Pie I love brains and this man is loaded with them! Add a nice slice of humility, the crust is pure regard for humanity - no lard used here! This is nicely seasoned with ability to balance life well. A happy family is a good show of proof of balance. This holds up well at room temperature and even will stand well under a few blows. Rand and I have developed our own catch phrase for this run: I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you. This is a very attractive dish.
Edwards Roast The first taste here is inner strength. A deeper flavor is understanding of where we, the little guys, are. This dish is braised in personal knowledge - his family being chased by the devil named cancer while running for the top position. Marinated by being raised in a family that didn't fit the mold and punched time clocks. Slow cooked to perfection. Some with their noses in the air may not buy something called a "rump roast", but this is a dish fit for kings. A fantastic, tender cut that all will appreciate.
Huckabee Whiskey Let's face it. That is just fun to say. Illegal during prohibition, but making a strong comeback in the Rebirth of Morals. Brewed very strong and nicely aged. A sipping whiskey and good for medicinal purposes. Best brewed in the finest of southern distilleries. A whiskey will never steer you wrong, but it will set you on your butt and change your view of the world for awhile. When choosing, go for the best money can buy. It's worth it!
Clinton Caramel Corn This is a family recipe handed down a generation or two. Oven is already preheated on this one. Pop several quarts of popcorn. When you have filled your largest oven-proof pan full of fluff, prepare caramel topping. Start by melting butter, when everything is nice and melted into a slick willie, add equal amounts of white and brown sugar. Cook until everything is nice and bubbly. Add a touch of tada! and watch out - things are going to rise quickly and stuff will be hitting the stove! Pour onto corn and watch everything fall a bit. This has to be slow cooked in a lukewarm political oven for years. A dish that takes a long time to prepare. Delicious, but don't over indulge in this one.
Romney Slaw This is a simple dish to prepare. Take a head of cabbage. Add a dressing. Taste hasn't changed in decades. Goes well with a a grilled meat, but take note - this is a side dish, reminiscent of Quayle potatoes. The Romney recipe does take a big dash of hard on illegal immigration.
Thompson Squash Tough as nails on the outside, inside is soft. This vegetable stores well, but too delicious to leave in storage forever. Use a large, sharp edge knife and cut through the heart of popularity. Roast this in an antique stove. A safe dish to serve with any cut of meat or could be filled to make this a main dish. Your Grandma served it with Watergate salad. This is simple dish that pretty well serves itself and needs very little help. Your grandmother still serves it. You hesitate when you first see it, but you will always take a serving. Maybe Grandma knows best?
Richardson Rice A nice side dish to everything, I will take a bowl of this and call it a meal. Enriched with previous experience. This has lots of color through added bits of leadership, ethnicity, religion, and a strong sense of self. This is a very filling dish that is happy to stick to your important issues.

2008-01-06T04:29:00.000-06:00

A bit more of Christmas

Midnight Cooking with Lilly
Seriously, it was midnight.
Lilly was going strong and Gramma was failing fast.

Hydrate before working over a hot stove.
Lilly was using hot cocoa in her bear sip-a-cup for this meal preparation.

Getting everything ready, including her smile for Gramma!

Lilly did don her apron to avoid spatters.
"Here Gramma. Your pickles are ready!"

Okay - Lilly's a bit too creative with her cocoa here.
Next lesson - Cleaning Up!

BTW - did you notice how great her skin looks?

2008-01-05T17:21:00.000-06:00

I love it!

My new favorite find for holiday gifts was handmade soaps from Soapourri. They are made right here in Des Moines. It started when an online friend, Lisa, suggested the Butter Bar for help with my granddaughter Lilly's dry skin and eczema.
I was ready to place my first order when friend Ashley (Anna's mom) surprised me with a bar for Christmas. I was gifted the Stargazer Lily fragrance. It is so intoxicating; I will take a heady whiff whenever I am near. The soap itself is so soothing I have put my other soaps away. This is now my face and body soap. I find I am taking much longer showers. It is so hard to stop using this luxurious product.

Lilly has had rather severe eczema since she was a few weeks of age. With diligent care it can be kept under control. She could not tolerate fragrances or a majority of products made specifically for children. Boring, colorless and scentless products have dictated her skin regime.
We tested Soapourri on Lilly over her long holiday visit and…..For the first time in her life, Lilly can use a beautiful, fragrant soap! (Stargazer Lily as well - She really loved Gramma's!) Nobody is more thrilled than this little princess! The Soapourri soap is very soothing to her delicate skin.

The Butter Bar is magnificent! Its unique packaging makes it easy enough for an almost-three year old to use. Three is the "I do it!" age. Lilly would ask for her butter bar whenever she was feeling her "owies" (eczema hot spots) and it brought her instant relief. She would use it very correctly and hand it off to Gramma only for the spots she couldn't reach. Her skin remained beautifully clear.
Everyone got their own unique soap for their stockings and loved their handpicked fragrances.
Lilly's Butter Bar went home with her and I really miss it!
I will be placing my next order very soon!
Randy fights very dry skin, got his own bar as well, and in just a few days there is noticeable difference in his skin.

2008-01-04T19:53:00.000-06:00

An early season mix

This is how Lilly reacts to really exciting moments in known movies.

Here Lilly had moved the Camper's bed to in front of the fireplace. She is faking sleep.

A classic Christmas pose.
Our little girl is growing up.

2008-01-04T15:02:00.000-06:00

How toddlers celebrate Christmas.

Early in the season, while browsing through the multitude of toy catalogues with Gramma, each time an Inch Worm appeared, Lilly would say, "That's for Anna." Gramma finally realized this was happening every time the Inch Worm appeared.
So Gramma and Lilly got the Inch worm for Anna.

After the girls exchanged gifts, the normal toddler jeaslousy ensued with the toddler notion of "It's all mine!' Anna was better behaved than Lilly at sharing, but she also started their tea party by throwing a tea cup at Lilly's head. It was a very short lived tea party

2008-01-04T05:14:00.000-06:00

Lilly and most of her babies.

From left to right as Lilly has named them:
Sister (the clothing optional one), Tubbles,
Lil' Baby, Baby, Elmo, unnamed (I don't remember),
Cindy, and on Lilly's lap - Suzie.
Notice the John Deere baby blanket - a real favorite of Lilly' and a gift from Jason.

2008-01-04T05:06:00.000-06:00

An elf got caught snitching candy

This is Lilly's official Christmas dress.....

.....a shot with shoes.
I love my Christmas Princess Elf.

2008-01-04T04:27:00.000-06:00

Christmas Morning

via the
Polar Express

One of Lilly's favorite Christmas movies is Polar Express.
We watched it several times day. She could almost repeat all of the dialogue as it played out. When she wanted to watch it, yet again, it was usually by hollering for all to hear,
"All aboard!"

This small box was the last one to be found under the tree.

Lilly first pulled out the golden ticket.

Then expressed her joy upon pulling out a bell off of Santa's own sleigh.

Lilly figured it had fallen off of Rudolph - her other favorite movie.

Then in almost movie perfect perfection, the test.

It worked she could hear the beautiful noise,
and Mommy and Gramma could as well!

A nice ending to a very Merry Christmas!

2008-01-04T04:16:00.000-06:00

Playing with Grampa's new laser toy

Yeah - the juice is really hitting her now!

I had added a bit of the hard stuff
(Diet Dew) to our drinks
and added maraschino cherries for color.

In her Christmas pajamas
and ready for Santa

What a doll!

2008-01-04T04:03:00.000-06:00

It's Christmas Eve!

Lilly is dressed for the party.

Gramma had promised Lilly she could drink from the pretty glasses when it was a party.
She is really doing a good job on her sparkling cider here.

The presents are all 'under' the tree.

Finally the moment Lilly has been waiting for!

2008-01-04T03:38:00.000-06:00

Oh Christmas tree!

2008-01-04T03:15:00.000-06:00

Christmas cookies with Lilly!

Rolling in dough!

Mark it with a tree.....

Yes, we let her apply sprinkles liberally.
Sort of let her.
Her reflexes are muchfaster than ours.

Time to put the rolling pins away!

Clean up time!

Disclosure

2008-01-01T00:00:00.000-06:00

This policy is valid from 31 January 2008

This blog is a personal blog written and edited by me. This blog accepts forms of cash advertising, sponsorship, paid insertions or other forms of compensation.

This blog abides by word of mouth marketing standards. We believe in honesty of relationship, opinion and identity. The compensation received may influence the advertising content, topics or posts made in this blog. That content, advertising space or post will be clearly identified as paid or sponsored content.

The owner(s) of this blog is compensated to provide opinion on products, services, websites and various other topics. Even though the owner(s) of this blog receives compensation for our posts or advertisements, we always give our honest opinions, findings, beliefs, or experiences on those topics or products. The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the bloggers' own. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider or party in question.

This blog does not contain any content which might present a conflict of interest.

To get your own policy, go to http://www.disclosurepolicy.org

2007-12-01T04:41:00.001-06:00

Time Passages.....

almost 3 years go by.....

Lilly still loves Grandma's bed best.
Gramma still has her favorite flannel sheets.

2007-12-01T04:13:00.000-06:00

Watching cartoons.

I made my bed, came out, and discovered, I was now alone in my quest for a world suited in pajamas and robes. Lilly had pulled out her big soft toys and was in front of the fire place. She had quite properly put her pajamas in her hamper. Lilly invited me to join her new fashion statement, but I declined.

Later in the day, Lilly was back to her more usual fashion sense.

2007-12-01T03:43:00.000-06:00

Lilly invited Anna to a tea party
This was Lilly's idea. I told her Anna was coming over.
Lilly instantly started to set her table for a tea party.

Their menu consisted of water and soda crackers.

Both girls were so very well mannered during this. Tea parties must be a genetic female gene. Even Camper, who was watching jealously, was given a bowl of "tea" to try. Since this initial tea party went so well, the future ones will have a much improved menu and maybe the grown ups will partake in their own cup of tea. (all we managed this time was hovering, giggling and marveling over our little females)

2007-12-01T03:31:00.000-06:00

So we meet again!

The breaking of bread with an old friend.

Laughs and memories shared.....

Realizing she eats better than you and that means she is getting more so you try to get Gramma to help you in some way....

What a Drama Queen!

2007-12-01T02:48:00.000-06:00

Lilly where are you?
I hear giggles!

Gramma! Here I am!

Back to some serious cooking.

2007-12-01T02:40:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving Starts and Stops and Starts again

Rand went on Tues to get Sandra and Lilly, to beat the oncoming snowstorm.
If we had waited until Wednesday as planned, they would not have made it home.
Rand and Sandra called to have me be ready when they got there.
Lilly had just thrown up in route.
She was sick all night Tuesday night and most of Wednesday. Once again, we were worrying Thanksgiving may not happen (we were going to my folks).
Poor Lilly pictured here below, with her favorite blanket, pillow, and in her new warm robe. (and her Valentine's pig) It was going to be a Christmas present, but she was chilled and feverish. I gave it early. We were two peas in a pod.
Neither of us up to par, hanging out in our pajamas and big fluffy robes.

Thanksgiving was a very quiet day with my folks.
Traveling is very hard on me right now.
I feel every bump on the road, it hits like a razor striking my skin.

2007-12-01T02:04:00.000-06:00

Health update (irony)
I am so freaking tired of being me. I want the body without pain.
New drugs are up to a baseline level. I am still pretty well housebound.
My monster (RSD) still runs free.
Part of the problem is still the pain of the withdraw from Cymbalta.
My brain is still mush and in "talking" with others that have been through/going through this that seems to be a norm. Brain mush could last a few months or more. In my best thinking and observing - it seems to be a short term memory thing. I also have brain zaps - everything goes severely weird wired, if standing I can fall.
Even if I was really mobile, I don't think me driving is a great thing.
Pajamas are my best friend.
Still fighting paperwork. Almost two months without a paycheck.
The Grinch may win this Christmas.
Luckily, I have been buying for Lilly early!

2007-11-15T01:24:00.000-06:00

Back to what the neighbors have been up to.......

How I feel these days.

As you remember, when they moved in we got this.....

You got to like them, but you don't want to live near them.

Certainly not below them!

Then they added one of these....
She's named after designer shoes and has surely ate all theirs by now. And she actually resembles the dog on the left. We get to suffer the howling and barking (young pups need their packs constant thumping of her feet back and forth, all night long. Anyone remember, "Pushing a rock. Pushing a rock."

We then had the hilarious episode of Cops right outside our kitchen window....

This is not the scene out our window - ours was very dark at 3am!
The main themes:
No one was driving the car illegally parked in the handicap spot.
Everyone under the age of 21 was drinking.
How did we know you were the real police?

To catch my reader base on more current issues.....
They have added to their family:
Yes, they have added a Mastiff. This puppy is named after a candy bar and at 10 months weighs in at 160lbs. I have given him his own name: Thor, God of Thunder. That is what he sounds like down here, running back and forth as he and his new canine friend play.
To be fair - this was love at first sight for me! And it was returned! Mastiff are known as gentle giants.

But this is not what you want living above you.

Mastiff is to dog = Lion is to cat.

There are strict laws involving "picking up" after your pet in our area. There are even pretty nice $$ fines if you don't that are well posted. They own two large dogs now and I have never seen them with a plastic bag. And all grass near our home proves it. And sidewalks as the mowers hit the piles and redeposit them along their path.
The boys did come down a week and re-apologize for noise. It was a nice visit and they got to hear first hand how noisy their apartment was while others and dogs were still upstairs. One even gave me his phone number so we could call him to complain rather than say.....the police. They were properly mortified. It did quiet down a bit - until this weekend.

Rand got home from work and told me I should peek outside and see what the boys and a massive amount of their friends were attempting to haul upstairs. It was almost the size of my Jeep. There were 6-8 muscle bound jocks struggling to move it. Rand said he watched them for awhile before coming in. And they were about 6 steps up at this point.

From what we can hear and feel, I'd say they have one of these as well.

They are still entertaining - frequently. We are still replacing light bulbs at an amazing rate. That comes from what sounds like people just plain jumping up and down. Our wall pictures will even "move". The vibrations from their home theater system set (the sub woofer?) increase my pain. We wish they would at least watch what we are watching so we could hear what we are trying to watch. We have tried to call and say it is too loud, but I don't think they can hear their cell phones over their tv.
I'm still on medical leave. Everyday is spent trying to control the pain. Grocery shopping is still beyond me, but I try. Yesterday I did okay but couldn't buy anything that weighed over a couple of pounds. I just could lift it. Too much pain in my hands. I manage 1-2 doctor appts. a week. My new meds are more than double the price of my old ones. I have had no income in a month. The doctors staff screwed up my leave paper work- sent in all but 1 side of 1 sheet. Seems that was the most important one. Every week, I try to fix it, but someone, somewhere, will screw up another part.
Sucks to be me.

2007-11-13T00:18:00.000-06:00

We got a surprise - Lilly!

"Lilly, Gramma needs a picture of your smile."
I did this is sepia tones to cover the the red eye and her shiny face.
My red eye application had stopped working!? Strange!
The shiny is from all the vasoline I cover her with after a bath.
Lilly has extremely dry skin and eczema.
Major moisture is needed just to get her through a night.

The potty training is through - she is trained! Dry nights and everything.
Gramma was teaching her the relaxed method of taking a poop.
According to Lilly - Mommy likes to coach her by making grunting noises.
According to Mommy - Lilly told Mommy to stop before she pooped her pants!

This baby bed was out of commission for a bit. A friend of Grandpa's fixed the minor need and Lillie was pleased to see it back. This baby bed was originally Sandra's when she was two!

My earliest memories of my Grandpa are playing with a top. I thought he was so awesome - Grandpa could make it Go! He would sit on the kitchen floor with me and make the top spin and sing. I probably wasn't much older than this. I still am not real good with a top. Lilly lets me try, then she goes and gets Grampa.

This is Camper doing her best E.T. imitation.
- she was hiding in plain sight from Lilly!

2007-11-10T00:32:00.000-06:00

12:15 am
Mario Brothers ringtone playing

"Mom?"
"No."
"Really?"
"Your kidding? Who else would answer my phone this time of night?"
"Seriously. Is this you Mom?"
"What do you need Willie?"

It's fun to mess with him.
With any of my other kids a phone call this late means an emergency.
Willie calls all times of day or night with no thought of what time is it and might they be asleep. Multiple times a day. Everyday.
Though lately he has been stranded a couple of times by an old truck he is fixing up. Which is why I even answered. Usually even that is not an emergency, except in Willie's world. Willie is not mechanically inclined - but that's another blog.

"I was wondering, if it's not too late, if you could look, I don't know if you would have anything like this, but maybe, I was wondering, Cause I didn't know, If it would be alright......(ETC)!
"Get to the point very quickly now!" Wondering if I have to get dressed.
"Were you asleep or asleep asleep?"
"What's the difference?"
"Did you go to bed or fall asleep watching TV?"
"No matter how I got there, I prefer to remain asleep. What do you need Willie?"
"So anyway, I was wondering if you had any baby pictures of me."

At this time of night???!!!!

"No, I threw most of them out. I was done with them"
"Really? Okay, never mind then."
"Willie, pictures are kept forever - passed down generation to generation."
"So, do you have any of when I was little?

Mind you he has seen the entire albums involving his adoption, homecoming, growing up and even photos from his 21st birthday last summer.

"So I was wondering if you had any photos of me when I was like Lilly's, Anna's, Jaeden's age?"

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Old girlfriend alert! Old girlfriend alert!

"Why do you need them at this time of night and what do you need them for?"
"I could just come and pick them up."
"I'm not giving you my albums. You get them when I die."
"I can come over on Sunday and make copies of all of them then."
"That's impractical Willie. What particular shots are you thinking of and who do you need them for?"
"I just need some pictures for me."
"Don't lie to me! You are going to tell me why you mentioned Jaeden. Are these pictures for Amanda?"
"Well we have been talking. We're just friends."

Will and I discuss whether or not he is telling the truth and and I finally tell him this conversation could take place during daylight hours.
Willie finally told me he had started his own photo album and wanted a few pics of himself.
Why this takes so long to get to and if that is the whole truth - who knows? It is suspicious that he mentioned the old girlfriend's toddler out of the blue.

So far, Willie has not managed to have a girlfriend that didn't take advantage of him. This particular one used him all she could and the gig was up when he proposed. She went on to relapse on her drug abuse problem and lost custody of her daughter.
And this is not the worst girlfriend he has had. The most recent one holds that prize.
Willie is going to be a great husband and father someday.
But he when gives away his heart, he will do anything for anyone at any cost to himself. Unfortunately, there are a lot of bimbos that will use that to their full advantage.
And Willie, being a gentleman to the end, will protect them from this Bear.

2007-11-05T23:41:00.000-06:00

The Scoop on Poop
I missed a call the other morning. Once I heard the message I was really sorry I missed the call, but then again, messages are keepers.
Lilly had called.
She was shouting in delight and singing, "I pooped in the potty - na na na na na na!". Over and over again. She was thrilled! This is a keeper of phone messages!
That was the only thing she hadn't done in her potty training. She is completely dry, but would bring her mom a diaper when she had to poop.
We had tried pretty hard while she was here. She had the want to, but seemed to have a mental block for letting this one 'go'.

Sandra called this evening and Lilly has been 100% since mastering "the poop factor".
In fact, Lilly has even went above the call of duty.
Where they live, they have shared bathrooms and showers, but do have private sinks in each room. Sandra also has a potty chair in their room for Lilly.
Sandra was talking to another mom when Lilly interrupted with, "I poop! I poop!"
Sandra ran her to bathroom but Lilly told her "No! My little potty!"
Sandra ran Lilly back to their room and began to help Lilly take her britches down. Lilly fought her every bit of the way. Lilly finally said, "I already went potty! I used my little potty!"
Lilly wasn't indicating that she needed to go; she was exclaiming that she already had! (I pooped!)
Sandra, just a bit wary , peeked into the potty chair. A couple of tell-tell smears, but no real evidence.
"Lilly, what did you do with the poop?"
"I cleaned my potty!"
Sandra instantly thought , "Oh no!" and peeked into their room sink.
Yes, that is where Lilly dumped the evidence.....so to speak.
Lilly is very independent. During initial potty training, she would often surprise her mom by handing her the bowl from the potty chair with a proud, "I peed!"
Once Lilly went down the length of the hallway, no clothes, bowl of pee, just to show her mom what she had done all by herself.

That reminds me of a Willie Story
Willie (age 10-11?) was taking his very first sports physical. I also brought Rob in for the trip to the doctor's office - he was up for an allergy shot.
Willie started squirming and announcing he had to go (this is how Willie reacts no matter where he arrives or when - we refer to it as marking his territory everywhere he goes)
And of course they were running late on appointments. I let them know Willie needed to drop his lab work early.
I sent Rob back with Willie. I knew that Willie being told to pee in a cup and keep it sterile would be a problem. He would need guidance and he was too old for Mom's help.
Rob took this task like any good big brother would. He argued profusely at the idea of overseeing his little brother peeing in a cup. Especially the little brother with legendary aiming issues!
It didn't take long at all before Rob was back at my side. Alone.
"Where's your brother?"
"He doing alright."
"Does he know how to finish?"
"I don't know."
I headed back there - fast!

For physicals, our small clinic just handed out plastic drinking cups. No lids.
This was a very busy day at the clinic.
People were rushing everywhere down the halls and in and out of the lab.
And there in the middle of the rush hour was Willie. Shuffling very slowly. He was hoping to gain someone's attention. Professionals are rushing within inches of this kid, but not noticing he is- without guidance (a nurse or mom) or do they note what he is doing.
Willie is not lifting his eyes off the cup in his hands. Steadily shuffling as slow as humanly possible, only moving millimeters at a time.
As I approached him, I saw fear in Willie's eyes. Willie had no idea where he was going with this cup. Mind you - the bathroom did have a pass through, but he was new to these things and didn't listen to instructions. Rather just leave his sample behind, he decided to take it with him to find someone to give it to. Everybody was ignoring this young man, shuffling slowly, eyes not leaving his cup, he was in total fear of spilling his cup........which was filled to the brim! Actually a bead above the brim would be a more accurate description.
I quickly called a lab person over - I wasn't touching that cup!

2007-11-01T23:41:00.000-05:00

A Snapshot of the This Week so far......

We had a Lilly visit last weekend.
This was Lilly desperately avoiding a nap.
"Little Baby" looks like she lost the battle.
By the way, I hate to jinx it -
But - Lilly is potty trained!

Camper getting ready to snooze in the sun.

Saturday morning breakfast.
We shared the making and eating of this lovely fruit tray.
The beverage served was chocolate milk, of course.

Happy Halloween

Anna the Kitty was my only visitor.

Anna got a grocery sack of diapers Lilly won't be needing, a sack of daytime pull-ups (we kept the night time for emergencies), a sack full of sipper cups Lilly refuses to use - she prefers big girl ones (ones I can pull the guts out of so they drink like a regular cup), and a snack size bag of Goldfish Crackers - which were her "treat"!

2007-10-24T00:19:00.001-05:00

Lots to see!
I have posted several small picture posts tonight, so keep scrolling!
The intergalactic tea party was the beginning of these posts.
Lilly did get to spend a weekend with Gramma and Grandpa. It was wonderful!
Lilly looks forward to seeing me as much as I do her. She doesn't want to let go of me when she first gets here. Lots of kisses and hugs!
We had a family reunion this weekend down at the old folks - Pa's side of the family.
I'm pretty weak these days and the pain is still winning - big time.
I started out with the goal of wanting to take lots of pictures at the reunion and truly wanting to play catch up with cousins. I got very few photos taken and ended up in a small room trying to survive the extra assault on my senses (with RSD, even noise is a problem) that was pushing my pain through the roof. And praying none of the rambunctious kids would run into me - literally!
Lilly would find me again and again always hollering, "There's my Gramma!" We still had a good day together in the very large crowd. Lilly is very good medicine for this Gramma.
In all 40 -50 people were in attendance. I only had a couple of good conversations.
And in the end, the pain sent me running home not unlike Cinderella when the clock struck midnight.
I take my pain meds every 6 hours, they last 4 hours,and we were at hour 5. I take my meds quite precisely to have the maximum dose I am allowed in 24 hours with no deficit larger than 6 hours.
I would like very much to have another family reunion when I'm better.

I got a call to go get another blood test.
Once again the tech had to look it up in a book before they could draw.
My new drug, Lyrica is leaving me very lightheaded. Today I cut back my dose a bit and it helped. Tomorrow it is back to trying to climb up.
This is a drug you have to take very long time (weeks to months) to adjust to a wean up to full levels.
I'm almost at 1/3 the way and not ready for much more.
And we can only hope this drug will work for me as well as it has for other patients.
I have not received anything for my liver. It still hurts. I am still itchy, nauseous, and that in itself created massive exhaustion.
And all that was before the RSD monster was let loose.
And my Fibromyalgia.
And I still am suffering withdrawal effects.
All because some super quack thought he could just pull the plug on my Cymbalta.
My big "to do" for today was to shop our neighborhood Walgreen for a few small necessities. I knew I couldn't do Target - I needed to keep it a very small store. This shopping trip absolutely killed me off.
Then check out took forever - including a totally embarrassing price check. She finally got real stuck on something else and I as able to talk her through it. Target training is the best!
On the downside I was about ready to walk off and leave my stuff in the middle of check out, I so needed to go home and lie down.....and she was so freakin' slow!
My 'almost bailing' point? When she accidentally deleted my info and I had to run my card through again.
I'm in so much pain I was trying not to cry or fall down.
"Run your card again?" I was ready to walk.

Update
Police are at the neighbors again. I'm assuming they are not home. Their very large puppy won't stop barking and crying. It's 1:40am.

Another Update
3:08 The itching and fire are making it a rough night. Trying a warm cup of tea.

2007-10-24T00:14:00.000-05:00

Lilly in her new Letterman Jacket.

Yes, she has officially lettered in princess!

2007-10-24T00:09:00.000-05:00

Quiet Play

2007-10-24T00:04:00.001-05:00

Lilly and Gramma at the family reunion.

2007-10-23T23:59:00.001-05:00

Lilly with a kitten Uncle Earl brought to the family reunion.We both were in love with this kitty!

2007-10-23T23:52:00.001-05:00

Lilly's swing is now on Great Gramma's! porch.
Family reunion Oct 2007

2007-10-23T23:49:00.000-05:00

No family dinner wuld be complete without Mom on the piano and Aunt Kay on the spoons.

2007-10-23T23:43:00.000-05:00

Uncle Earl at Family Reunion 2007

2007-10-23T23:39:00.001-05:00

Niece Mary with the kitten at a family reunion.Mary is the angel who passed the doll house down to Lilly!

This Bear Bites!

Grace Fully Realized

A Spoonie Anthem and All Wet

As summer winds to an end.....

Misery Loves Nobody

Sliding with Style

My Bad

keep kicking while they're down

You're a mean one.....Granny Grinch! Language Alert!

I *Heart* You Not

I *Heart* You

It's all Suzy

A Summer Missed

I'm alive

So, now that I'm awake

Camper and the box

April 3, 2008

April 3, 2008

Even my muscles are crying!

Easter 2008

Easter 2008

Mommy goes shopping

Lilly the acrobat

waiting

Back and White and Simple

the Gathering

An Announcement

When it rains, it pours......

Manners by ThisBearBites

Calling all friends and stalkers!

Come one and all!

Old Bear - no new tricks

Little Red Riding Hood

PEZ

Through Lillly's brain

Sickbay

Disclosure

My One Thousandeth Post

I'm cooking turkey and noodles!

a feeding frenzy

Good news and bad news

Battle!

I'm watching you!

Lilly and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

Kara reads Lilly a story.

Welcome to my dot-com!

I'm walking on sunshine!

Welcome February -- Hurry up March!

And it was cold and snowing

This looks good on Amanda

Lilly meets Caitlyn

Lilly, her dump truck, and ballet bar

Lilly @ 3

I Need a Bigger TV

Don't Eat That!

Here she is!

It's a Girl!

Another Day in Paradise

Life Plan

A Great Place To Be

They, too, will get old.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

Happy 3rd Birthday Lilly!

Disclosure

I Heart You Not

I Heart You